Yes. - lost.

Chapter 14.

"How dare you?" I scream into the phone.

"Dylan, what did I do?" Like he doesn't know.

"You knew Connor! You knew him your freshman year of college didn't you? On your swim team." The line is silent. "Answer me Cameron!"

"Yes, okay? Yes!" I close my eyes. I feel the tears threatening to come.

"Why?"

"What?" His voice is shaky.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I heard him sigh on the other line.

"You wouldn't understand Dylan." I scoff at his sentence. The sentence I've heard so many times in my life.

"Try me."

"Yes, I met Connor. But I didn't know he was the Connor you watched. I just thought it was a coincidence that two boys in Minnesota had the same name."

"In the same state, that had green eyes, and loved to swim?" I spit.

"Listen. I was stupid. I did have those times that I would look at his face and think it was the Connor but I'd always shake my head, denying it. I'm sorry Dylan." This time the tears did come.

"Why didn't you tell me about the Connor from your swim team? I could have compared everything and have met him sooner!" I scream into the line.

I probably sound so stupid. But he was one of the people that helped me when I was depressed. Connor helped me love myself again. He is one of the reasons I am who I am today.

"Cameron, you know how much of an impact Connor and the boys made on my life. I'm not just one of those fans that watch their videos because they're hot or funny. I watch their videos because they made me happy when I was upset."

"I know."

"I spent years without smiling because it hurt. Because it didn't feel right to smile. And they were the reasons why I was able to smile after so long. After I found out about my real birth parents. After Kaylee. After," Tears ran down my cheeks and I wasn't able to stop them. "After that day."

"Don't talk about that day dammit!" Cameron yelled. I cried harder than ever. "Don't bring that day into my mind. It killed seeing you in that hospital bed. You are so lucky you are alive Dylan!"

"I know! But you know what? Those boys brought me back up. They don't know it. They don't know anything. All they know is that I'm a fan. It's because of them, I'm happy again. Because of them, I can actually face you and mom. Because of them, I can actually call you and Aunt Maggie by your names."

I can hear him crying on the other line.

"I'm so sorry Dylan. I should have been smarter. I should have went to you and asked if it was the same Connor. I'm so sorry. If it wasn't for me making that mistake, you would have been happier earlier than now. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay Cameron. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I wasn't thinking and I was just so angry but now I know it was a stupid reason for being angry."

"Still cousins?"

"No Cameron. We're still brother and sister." I smile. Sadly he can't see it. "I'll talk to you later Cameron."

"Bye." We hang up the phone and I close my eyes. Taking a deep breath in, then releasing it. After repeating that a couple times, I feel a bit more calm and I think I can finally go inside.

I pull up the camera on my phone to check my face, it's less red than I though it was going to be so I just pat some of the wetness of the tears off my cheeks and fix my hair a bit so it'll be less noticable I was crying. When I feel ready, I freeze.

Two arms wrap around my waist from behind. I try to figure it out who it is but once I see the phone case, I smile.

"Hi Jc." I giggle a bit.

"Don't cry." He spoke into my hair, leaving his voice a bit muffled.

"I'm not crying anymore Jc. I'm okay. Really." He tightens his grip on me, making me hold my breath a bit. "Jc."

"Fine. I just don't want to see you upset." I turned around. Now I'm face to face with him. "I saw you crying and yelling through your phone and I was worried. Well, we all were." He points to the small group I was with just minutes ago and wave toward them. They wave back so I give them a small smile.

"Jc, you read my letters right?" He nods. "What if they read them too?" He looks over to the group and a smile makes his way to his.

"That would be nice." He wraps his arm around my shoulders. "C'mon. We're going to your room so they can read them."

"Wait!" I startle him. "The letters have things to do with Trevor and the..."

His eyes widen. "I'll distract him." I thank him. We go back inside, call the group, and make our way back to the hotel room.

Jc drags Trevor to a small restaurant near the lobby to get us food. Stalling for me so the rest of the group can read the letters. Once we get to my room, I take in a large breath.

"Guys, sit down." They do as they're told. All eyes on me. "So far only Jc knows this. And I want you guys to know this too." I pull out my notebook, they look at it with curious eyes but I just hug it against my chest.

"What is that?" Sam points to my notebook. I take in a deep breath.

"Have I ever told you guys why I watch your videos?"

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