Yes. - lost.

Chapter 2.

She looked at me as she read my letter. Everything I wrote onto that piece of paper. She put my notebook down and took off her glasses.

"Don't sit like that." I sighed and took my feet off the chair. Letting go of my knees and making me sit up straight. When I was looking at her with my back straight she finally talked. "This is a good letter. This should have been to your aunt. At least, I thought it was for your aunt."

I sighed knowing where she was going with this. I know that to her, it's a good letter. But since it's to people I don't know and to people that will never know me, she thinks it's a waste of time for me have written it. I've been through this before with her. Ever since I was eight.

"Look, I just thought you would have written the letter to someone that knew you personally. Like your mo- aunt. Or your best fri-"

"She's not my best friend. I don't have a best friend. No one likes me and no one cares about me. You act like people are my friends but no one knows me. No one knows who I am." My psychiatrist rubs her temples and sighs in frustration.

"If you don't talk about it and let people in, no one will help you. You'll never help yourself." She looks at me but I can't look at her. I turn my head towards the window and look outside.

A little girl was riding her bike. A man, I assume her father, is pushing the bike then he let go. She screamed and kept peddling her bike. I see a woman, probably her mother, video taping with her phone with a wide smile. She runs up to the man and they kiss. It looked like a scene out of a movie. It must be nice living with a picture perfect family.

"Dylan." She calls my name and I feel my beanie shift. I lift my head to face her as I fix my beanie. "I understand that it's hard Dylan. We've known each other for almost seven years, I get it. You're tired of this back and forth. So am I but it'll only work if you talk to me."

I sigh in frustration. This thing she calls "back and forth" is getting tiring, I agree but I got over my depression. I've learned to except that people don't like me because I don't come from a normal family. I learned to only trust my aunt and myself. No one else. Sure, pushing people away can be "unacceptable" to most but look, I like being alone. No one to hold me back.

I grew up independent and I'd very much like to stay that way. I know I'm only fifteen but I know exactly what I want in life.

"Look, Dr. Ingrid, I just don't think this is going to work. I'm not depressed anymore. I'm just tired of this. Therapists and psychiatrists and all these people my aunt spends on is just a waste of time." I lean on her desk. An elbow on her table, my head in my palm. My other arm is rested on the arm rest of the chair.

"Wasn't it your birthday yesterday?" She sighs and I nod my head. "What did she get you?"

"Tickets to Digifest in Los Angeles." I've been here for too long. I'm not even excited for it anymore. What's the point anyways?

"Who are you going to meet there?" I look up. Pretty sure confusion is certain on my face. "This Digifest sounds expensive. I don't think your aunt would buy such expensive tickets for no reason." She puts on her glasses and folds her hands in front of her.

"Those guys are going." I sigh and look up at her.

"Who?" She had complete confusion on her face. Was she really asking me this?

"The people I wrote the letter to. Our2ndLife." I shake my head. Honestly, this was dumb. Going to Digifest doesn't seem so smart after all. "And Andrea Russett, Jenn McAllister, and other YouTubers."

"Are you excited?" She pushes up her glasses and looks at me with interested eyes.

"I was. But now I'm not that much." I shake my head and put my head in my hands.

"Why not?"

"Just seems stupid now." I look out the window again. No one was outside. I just see the wind being blown and the leaves moving on the branches of the trees. Then I see young kids running around playing. I see a boy fall on the floor and his friends pile on top of him. Quite a sight I might add.

"Go." I look at her with confusion. "Go to this Digifest thing. I'll call your aunt and ask her how long you'll be in Los Angeles. Make sure to write in this notebook while you're there. I want to know how you react to different things."

"So, you want me to go and the only thing I have to do is write in that notebook for you? No videos? No video chat sessions?" She holds a smile on her face. The first smile I've seen her pull in a while. She nods as she writes something down on her notepad.

"You can go if you'd like. Just sign out at the front desk. I'll call your aunt later today and we'll work everything out. And have fun on your trip, we don't have a session next week since I'm visiting my son in England." I nod and take my notebook from her.

I walked out of her office and walked to the front desk. I signed the paper and thanked the woman at the desk. I took my penny out of my back pack and started riding. The streets of my town weren't crowded. They never are. See, this is a small town. People only move here for school or if they retired.

I rode home and did what I always did: stepped off my penny and let it hit the grass. I always pick it up before I go to bed. A habit I've picked up on for about a year now. I unlock the front door and walk in. I hear my cousin is visiting from college so I decide to leave the door unlocked.

"Aunt?" I called out. Nothing.

I guess she went to go pick up my cousin already. Didn't know he was coming so early. I decide to go upstairs and watch a video. Maybe a Q&A from Trevor.

I jump onto my bed and slide my laptop onto my lap and go onto YouTube. I go to Trevor's playlist on the Our2ndLife account and click on a video from earlier this year in March. I ended up watching his video of the week they responded to hate comments.

"Bye, bye!" Trevor stretched the dollar bill in front of the camera. "Dollar, dollar bills y'all!" I laugh at the ending. Although I've seen this video so many times already, I laugh. These boys are the only constant thing that keeps me positive and happy.