Goldstar lounged evilly on his throne, cackling evilly. He suddenly stopped as his phone buzzed.
--- Pending Request--- @rainbowsparkle999 would like to join your roleplay ---
"Hmm..." mused Goldstar. "Hey, Teafur! Should I allow this plebeian to join?"
Teafur shrugged. "I don't know. If he's not a bully sure, but I'm not as evil as you, so I wouldn't know."
Goldstar considered this, then clicked CONFIRM. "If nothing else, we can torture and kill him/her :D"
--- @rainbowsparkle999 has joined your roleplay ---
"Hi! My name is Sunshine! How are you today?" mewed a bright yellow cat. [My cat is super nice, so if you ever need any help, ask me :D]
Goldstar shrugged. "Eh, not evil enough. Kill him, deputy!"
Fireclaw surged forward and pinned Sunshine to the ground. He prepared to rip out her throat, but stopped, looking a Goldstar. "Can we torture her first?" {PLEASE??!! :D}
[WHAT THE HECK GUYS WHAT IS THIS??!! WHY ARE YOU KILLING ME?] Sunshine squirmed. "W-what do you want? I can help you--" [ALSO DID YOU ASSUME MY GENDER >:( I'M A TOM]
"This is EvilClan," yawned Goldstar evilly. "Fireclaw, torture him all you want! EvilClan, you're free to join him."
[But...but...roleplays are all sunshine and rainbows. Aren't they? AREN'T THEY?] Sunshine let out a scream as he was dragged away, all EvilClan cats but Teafur following him.
{Phew! Glad to be rid of HIM! He'll be so fun to torture!}
Goldstar nodded in agreement to the text written in the brackets. "Yeah, and what kind of a name is Sunshine anyway?"
at Goldstar's will, every cat nodded in agreement
(Eh, EvilClan is still small! Let's recruit some more cats!) Goldstar stretched and called to Teafur. "Time to get more cats! Let's go back to SunClan!"
5 minute time skip because Goldstar said so
Hazelstar sat down and stared nervously at the horizon. "Foxes. The foxes are coming..."
HoneyStripe sat down next to her. "Did you scent some on a Patrol or something?" she asked her Leader curiously. (We literally JUST recovered from the last disaster...the Warriors Den is still destroyed)
|But this roleplay is so BORING| Hazelstar shook her head, turning to look at Honeystripe. "No...just a feeling."
(IT'S HoneyStripe!!!! GET IT RIGHT!)
\Honeystripe, read an actual Warriors book -_- I'm done making you happy and doing it wrong/ Acronleap walked over to join the two she-cats, taking care to sit away from Honeystripe. "What's this I hear about a fox attack?" Inwardly, he groaned. The last disaster had left the Clan in shambles, and wasn't hurrying itself to repair, thanks to an oddly amused Wonderfulwhisker. Some days, Acornleap wanted to ditch SunClan as well as MoonClan, but decided that he wouldn't really like Wind to be his only companion.
|Acornleap? I thought you quit!|
\I...uh discovered I don't have a life./
(How shocking.)
\Be quiet./
/DID SOMEONE SAY MY NAME :D\ Wonderfulwhisker pranced over to the three cats, creeping behind Hazelstar. "You wanted the roleplay to be exciting? Here's some exciting! TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!" he yelled as he shoved Hazelstar off the edge.
|WHAT THE--| Hazelstar tumbled off the cliff, losing a life when she landed. She continued to bleed out slowly. |WHERE IS THE ********** MEDICINE CAT WHEN YOU NEED HIM??!!|
"Perfect!" purred a random cat from behind the deputy and two warriors. "Very evil! Bravo, Wonderfulwhisker!" Goldstar sauntered (evilly) over to Wonderfulwhisker, still applauding. "Would you like to join EvilClan?"
"CAN I TROLL CATS?" asked Wonderfulwhisker excitedly.
"Sure!" mewed Goldstar evilly. He began walking evilly back to the EvilClan camp. "Wonderfulwhisker, let's go torture the prisoner!"
"Sounds like fun!" mewed Wonderfulwhisker, leaving Hazelstar to suffer below.
Hazelstar groaned and lost another life. |HEY, A LITTLE HELP HERE??|
\Nah, you're kinda irritating./
(Yeah, just die. I want to be leader :D)
|What the **** guys. You're supposed to be my friends. -_-|
Shrugging disinterestingly, Acornleap hopped down from the cliff edge, ignoring the wails of the annoying leader below. Leaving her to die isn't the same as killing her myself, he reasoned. Besides, if he was kicked out for it, it wasn't like his life would be any worse. "Honeystripe, are you heading back to camp as well?" Some part of him wished that she'd been the one to be shoved off the cliff, but he shoved that thought aside. It wouldn't do to antagonize a future leader. With that in mind, he decided silently to let her help Hazelstar if she wanted, but at this point, he really didn't care. He'd had enough of her.
(It's HoneyStripe!) "Yeah, let's go. I'm a bit tired anyway, and this screaming doesn't help my headache."
\Headache?/
(It's called an excuse.)
\Oh./
Meanwhile, in the EvilClan camp...
Sunshine screamed in pain.
Fireclaw grinned as he ran a claw along Sunshine's side before slicing it open. Hot blood gushed out, coating Fireclaw's claws. His eyes flamed with cold laughter as he watched his victim suffer.
"Hey, my turn," complained Teafur, who couldn't think of many ways to torture a cat. He settled for pouring scalding hot tea on Sunshine's open wounds, because the author is too lazy to do anything other than something related to his name.
"Hey, can we PLEASE spare him? He's kinda hot," mewed Leafspot.
Goldstar stared at her (evilly) in horror.
Teafur stared at her in horror.
Fireclaw stared at her in horror.
Firestorm stared at her in horror.
Wonderfulwhisker stared at her in horror.
Sunshine stared at her in horror.
Goldstar evilly mimed a puke. "Dude, he's, like, completely bloody and burnt and gross. That's just...disgusting."
Crickets chirped.
(Ok, now I'm really curious as to who's RPing those crickets...)
"I CALL DIBS ON TORTURING NEXT!" yelled Wonderfulwhisker unnecessarily loudly.
Goldstar shrugged indifferently (and evilly). "Sure!"
Wonderfulwhisker dashed into the medicine den and grabbed some catmint. "LOOK MAGICAL MEDICINE! IT WILL HEAL ALL YOUR PAIN!" He put it so close that Sunshine almost snatched it, then pulled it away. "TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!"
(Dude, that wasn't even funny.)
/You doubt my trolling skills? Think YOU could do better?\
(I'm your boss. I do everything better. And eviller.)
Wonderfulwhisker backed away awkwardly from Sunshine. "Uh, Goldstar, he's all yours."
Goldstar shrugged. "Nah. This is boring." He walked over and broke Sunshine's neck evilly.
--- @rainbowsparkle999 has been kicked from the roleplay ---
Goldstar snorted evilly. "Good riddance."
by Ember
YOU ARE READING
The Ballad Of The MoonClan Roleplay
RandomWe've all seen some cliché and terrible roleplays. This spoof is going to pick fun at those wretchedly awful roleplays! Follow the adventures of lots of cliché cats controlled by idiotic twolegs as they slowly break the fourth wall! Cover made...
