Self Destruction is Such a Pretty Little Thing

Nothing's Gonna Change The Things You Said

Nothing's Gonna Change The Things You Said

_________________________

Hey dad look at me,

Think back and talk to me

/Did I grow up according to plan?/

And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?

But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it

I just wanna make you proud

I'm never gonna be good enough for you

/Can't pretend that

I'm alright/

/And you can't change me/

/'Cause we lost it all/

Nothing lasts forever

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

/Now it's just too late and/

We can't go back

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

/I try not to think

About the pain I feel inside/

Did you know you used to be my hero?

All the days you spent with me

Now seem so far away

/And it feels like you don't care anymore/

/And now I try hard to make it/

I just wanna make you proud

/I'm never gonna be good enough for you/

/I can't stand another fight/

And nothing's alright

'Cause we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and

We can't go back

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

/Nothing's gonna change the things that you said/

/Nothing's gonna make this right again (right again)/

Please don't turn your back

I can't believe it's hard

Just to talk to you

But you don't understand (you don't understand)

'Cause we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and

We can't go back

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

'Cause we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

Now it's just too late and

We can't go back

I'm sorry

I can't be perfect

_________________________

Jesus fucking Christ. There is no more denying the fact that my father is, indeed, psychotic. I guess I should tell you what happened on Sunday then?

Well. My mother, sister, and I had a Christmas party to go to. I had baked some hella rad candy cane cookies to take bit they all fucking broke. Anyway. My father wasn't going because he's an asshole and Christmas was ruining his Sunday. (I should probably mention the fact that he'd been complaining about Christmas and everything even fractionally related to it, for at least a month by now. ) JESS left to go pick up her boyfriend and mom and I followed soon after. We called my father to let him know that head made it, he screamed at my mother about my sister had food in her room everywhere and there was a bag full of it. (We aren't allowed to have food in our rooms) which I mean is a little off screaming at my mother about it. It's not her fault. So we went to le party. Told Hess that she has to clean it when she got home. Problem solved, yes? Oh god I wish. When we got home, he continued to yell at us about it. whatever. He went outside to work in the garage (he's a mechanic) JESS was still gone dropping nick off.

I went into her room to see what all the fuss was about. It was cat food. Cat food. mother fucking cat food. Stupid I know. Thirty seconds after she walked in the screaming started. Christ knows how long that when on for until you hear a door slam and my father screaming that she had a week to be out of the house. My father returns downstairs and said that he was glad that she was finally gonna be out of his house. He then said that he was glad that Christmas wasnt going to happen and that we were all luckily to be living in his house and that we all meant nothing to him, anyway. my mother and I make a hasty retreat upstairs. I go and check on Jess to find that the wifi has been turned off and my father screaming something along he lines of "if you're not gonna clean then you ain't gonna use the wifi" which Is pretty dumb because I'm the only person who uses the wifi anyway. Anyway. Jess is all like well if he isn't going to let me use the wifi then Im not letting him use my flat screen (the one in the living room, that he was watching)

I go back in my mothers room with her and I hear my sister goes downstairs. My mom tells me to stay there, and she rushes out of the room. At this point I start having a panic attack. The worst one I've had. There was a lot of screaming coming from downstairs. I'm not sure what was happening. I sprinted to my bedroom and trifled through my night stand, looking for my inhaler (I'm asthmatic, sue me). I couldn't find it and continued to hyperventilate on my bedroom floor. I drank some water and tried to calm down. Every time I heard something I had to start over. The next thing I knew JESS ran back upstairs and screamed "I have a bruise, stupid" and slammed her door.

What happens after that is redundant, really. My dad stomps around, my sister hides in her room I hide in mine and take a sleeping pill and try to calm the fuck down and pass the fuck out.

Happy holidays, guys. May they always be better than mine.

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Perfect- Simple Plan