Self Destruction is Such a Pretty Little Thing

I'm Just a...

I'm Just A Would've Been, Could've Been, Should've Been, Never Was And Never Ever Will Be

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Fire & Ice

Fire and ice,

Till death do us part,

Keeping one another in check,

Where do I even start?

Ice on fire,

Like metal on my skin,

How can something so beautiful,

Be called a sin?

Fire and ice,

Battle till death,

Neither can be free,

While the other still has a breath,

Glacial and rigid,

Wild and free,

Opposites attract,

They can never be,

How can I live,

When a battle rages inside?

I'm in enough pain,

Without you being snide,

Still the fire needs calmed,

My insides are burning,

Only one thing can soothe me,

Let ice do it's cooling,

Ice and fire,

My only friends,

Will slowly destroy each other,

Until it all ends.

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Wow. Okay I just wrote that.

Who am I trying to kid? One week without school and I forget the misery that engulfs me. How about instead of going to school I could bash my head in with a hammer and feel better than I do there. Peace evades me. Home life is a war zone. My father comes he every night screaming about how things aren't clean enough and how my sister is driving him crazy. His relentless screeching drives me to the brink of sanity. How do I live like a caged bird? How do I survive on this meal of disdain? My thirst is not sated by the rage clouding around me. Does it help to say that Mikala is leaving soon? No. Soon she will leave and I'll be alone. What's new about that? Every second soaked in sadness, every weekend is a war. To fly away would be great. A goal unable to be reached. Almost four months clean. Almost a year since I attempted. All of the promises of change were empty. Lies. Nothing has changed. Not really. I am scared and alone. And I guess that's how I will remain.

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And The Snakes Start To Sing- Bring Me The Horizon