Intoxicated I Love You // Kian Lawley [a.u.]

Chapter 43: Her Best Friend

TRIGGER WARNING:
possible eating disorders, anxiety, etc.  If any of this is triggering to you, message me letting me know and I'll explain the chapter to you (:

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Wake up.

Kiss Jc's forehead.

Sneak out of bed.

Walk to the bathroom.

Pull out the scale.

Stand on the scale.

Cringe at the number flashing back at me.

On the verge of a breakdown, put the scale back.

Stand in front of the mirror.

Study every aspect of my body.

This had become a daily routine for me. How did Jc find any aspect of this attractive? I didn't understand, as I was absolutely disgusting. What did Jc see in me? 

I sighed as I left the bathroom, holding back tears and making my way to the kitchen to start breakfast. It had also become  routine for me to make breakfast for everyone every morning, although I never took part in eating any of it. Why would I? I was disgusting, wasn't I?

I pulled out a skillet and began making homemade pancakes from scratch. I had spent so many mornings making breakfast that I had actually become quite good at cooking. After a while, I finally had a giant stack of pancakes and distributed them evenly among the three plates. I carefully placed fresh fruit on the top and took a moment to stare in admiration of what I had just done. Not only were they delicious, but they also looked great as well. Before going to let everyone know that breakfast was ready, I grabbed three glasses and filled them each halfway with orange juice. I was quite proud of myself. Spending so much time preparing food made me feel less hungry, thus giving me a bit of comfort.

I made my way to Kian's door and knocked a few times, hoping that him and Avalon were awake.

"Yeah?" Kian's voice called out.

"Breakfast!" I replied.

"Sweet!" he shouted in response and a few moments later, him and Avalon were walking out of the room together.

"Morning, sunshine!" I greeted my best friend.

Avalon smiled at me in response. "Morning," she replied whilst yawning.

Besides the fact that cooking and preparing food made me feel less sick, it also was a way for me to give Avalon some sort of comfort without being suffocating. It had been weeks since our encounter with Asher and ever since that day, Avalon just didn't seem quite the same and I wanted to be there for her in whatever way I could.

"So what's on the menu this morning?" Kian asked as he grabbed Avalon's hand, lightly pulling her with him to the kitchen.

"I made pancakes with fresh fruit on top," I replied. "I hope that's an okay breakfast."

"Hell yeah it's an okay breakfast! You've become quite the chef lately, Brooke," Kian complimented.

"Yeah, what made you start cooking all the time, anyway?" Avalon asked me. "Weren't you the same girl who could barely make toast a few months ago?"

I shrugged. "I get bored often and I started looking up recipes and shit."

"Well I think it's awesome that you found something you like to do," Kian stated.

"You only think it's awesome because you get food out of it," Avalon retorted jokingly.

I rolled my eyes at the both of them. "Hurry and eat before it gets cold."

They did as they were told and I began to make my way towards Jc's room, although it was pretty much my room now too. I slowly opened the door and my boyfriend was still sleeping peacefully. I slowly rolled into bed beside him and shook him gently in an effort to wake him.

"Jc," I murmured softly against his hair, "baby, wake up."

"Hmm," he groaned, "why?"

"Because I made breakfast and I'm also very lonely."

Eyes still closed tight, he sighed. "Brooke," he whined, "Why do you have to get up so damn early?"

"I don't know... but I really want attention, so I'd appreciate it if you got up."

He sighed in defeat and sat up slowly, leaning his back against the headboard. I smiled softly and placed a soft peck on his cheek.

"Want me to bring the breakfast to you?" I asked him softly.

"Would you?" he asked with a soft smile.

"Of course. I'll be back in a moment."

As I walked into the kitchen, I saw that Avalon and Kian were happily eating away. I lingered, staring at them for a few moments in envy before grabbing a tray and placing Jc's breakfast on it.

I slowly walked back into the room and Jc's face lit up when he saw the pancakes.

"Brooke, I swear I am so fucking lucky to have you. You're amazing."

"I'm alright," I replied as I placed the tray in his lap and the glass of juice on the nightstand.

I slowly curled up into bed next to me and he placed a kiss atop my head. I zoned out for a few minutes, tracing lightly over his tattoo with my fingertips.

"Brooke," Jc stated, breaking me out of my trance-like state.

"Hmm?" I murmured.

"You're always making these amazing meals, but... why don't you ever seem to eat any of them?"

The moment this question left his lips, my heart dropped in my chest. I nervously licked my lips, trying to come up with an explanation.

"Well, you see... I tend to get so hungry while I'm cooking, that I sneak a few pieces here and there, and I end up being full by the time I'm done."

Jc gave me a skeptical look for a second or two, before nodding slowly. I knew my explanation wasn't at all convincing, but perhaps it could buy some time? I mean, why should it matter whether I ate or not? My body, my business, after all, right?

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I'm such a shitty person and I give each and every one of you permission to hate me. Lol. I haven't updated in almost two months! Absolutely insane!

I'm not so sure how I feel about this chapter, but I've been working on this idea for a while.

Be brutally honest in the comments (: