Believing Again

Chapter Sixteen

I could hear everything. The floor boards were squeaking; there was muffled yelling coming through the light door at the other side of my bed. I clutched my pillow tightly to me as there was a loud crash. I want mommy. I hear her yelling at him, begging him to stop it. My door bangs open and my daddy is standing in the door way, a dark bottle in his hand. He kept screaming mommy’s name, Amelia, Amelia, Amelia!

She was crying, grabbing onto his arm, begging him no. ‘Mommy?’ I asked her rubbing my eyes. Why was this happening? Why is Daddy so mad? She comes over to my bed and strokes my hair. Her words were mumbles, like I had cotton balls stuffed in my ears with a bad cold. I looked over to my daddy as he screamed at her, the veins in his neck bulging.

I felt her hand on my face and the whispered words of ‘I love you’ before the life left her eyes with an almighty bang. I leaned over my bed to see her in a puddle of red liquid. I looked up at Daddy as he walked towards me. I could see the horror in his eyes, he realized what he did. I watched as he lifted his hand, the dark covering the object in it. I look up at him as a single tear rolled down his face. The words still clear in my mind.

“I’m sorry.”….

I jerked awake suddenly, gasping for breath. I clutch my head in pain closing my eyes, trying to blank out the horrid images of my childhood. I rock my body back and forth trying to calm down. I felt frozen solid inside. I felt hands on my arms making my eyes fly open in terror. “No!” Gunner drops his hands instantly, his face reading in concern.

“Amira,” He stared at me. I wiped my sweaty forehead in shame. “It was just a nightmare.” He makes no move to touch me. I ran my fingers through my hair, my heart racing as the fandom pain of that night burning my mind. I opened my eyes to look at him. He looked so…helpless. “Amira, please.” His grey eyes were dark, afraid. He didn’t want me to lash out at him again.

I moved from the pool of blankets and into his lap. He pulled me to him, his body heat warming me. I closed my eyes and put my hands on his chest, feeling his steady heart beat and letting it calm me down. “I’m sorry.” I whisper after a while. I feel him shake his head and lean over. He must have turned on my lamp because I can see the sudden light behind my eye lids. I open my eyes and look up at him.

“Are you okay?” He strokes my face. I feel my eyes water, his eyes searching mine, trying to find a silent answer.

“Just a bad dream.” I tuck my head into his chest and close my eyes again. There is something about this man that calms me down, because the feel of his warmth and his skin on mine is making me relax. My heart started to copy Gunner’s calm rhythm. I tucked my feet under his thigh and looked up at him. He was fiddling with his phone, his chin on my hand.

“What are you doing?” I ask stretching my legs. He looks at me and smiles, a smile I’ve never seen before, a smile I know is just for me. He puts his phone in his pocket.

“Nothing, Tinks.” He smiled at me and puts his face in my hair. I wrap my arms around his neck and sigh in content. I felt his chest rumble as he said something. I pulled back and looked at him. He was looking over my shoulder at the door. Jessa stood there in jeans and a sweatshirt smiling at us. I pulled back and blushed.

“You should get going, Gunner, or you’ll be late for work.” I look over to him as he shrugs.

“I better be.” He stands up. I look up at him, not wanting him to go. “Please don’t look at me like that, Tinks. I got to go to work. I just wanted to check on you, see how you were feeling.” I pouted at him. He gives me a smile and kisses my forehead. “Text me if you need anything.” I nod and watch him walk out. Jessa winks at me and I blush again.