Who Will Win My Heart 2

Chapter 82

After about four more hours of torture, I wish I could take all of Ella's pain away from her. I would rather have myself go through twice the pain than have her go through it.

Louis has my pulled into his lap, holding me as I throw up and cry from my body aching. Louis runs his arms through my hair as I rest my head against his chest.

"Go to sleep, you need your rest." He whispers to me and I shake my head in response.

"You know you are tired, stop fighting it and relax baby." He leans in, kisses my cheek.

"I'm afraid to go to sleep." I mumble to him, my head hurts more than anything right now.

"Why?"

"I'm afraid if I fall asleep, I will wake up and I won't remember you." I admit and he pulls me in closer to him.

"You won't."

"You don't know that."

"I know you won't, it's okay. I'll be right here when you wake up." He promises me, leaning down and he gives me a small kiss on the cheek.

I nod in defeat as I close my eyes and I find myself beginning to drift off within seconds in his arms.




Days go by, three horrible days of just laying in the hospital bed with Louis. Carey came in and told me that Ella got another treatment yesterday and she has been sleeping. Liam comes everyday and spends most of the day with me until it gets dark outside then he goes home with Anna to take care of her. He still promises me every day that he isn't canceling the wedding because he knows what will happen. Today is Tuesday and the boys are coming home from the beach, I hope Liam doesn't tell them. I don't want to be overwhelmed by all of them, but I have a feeling there are pictures floating around from the girls Louis and I saw days ago.

They moved my IV to top of my hand to the vein that goes straight to my heart. After they moved it, my arm was all black and blue.

I'm now just finishing my fourth treatment with a garbage can in my hands. Ella was right, I will be throwing up a lot and I haven't ate since Saturday.

"You okay babe?" Louis asks me, with his arms wrapped around me as I sit in his lap.

"Yeah." I mutter before leaning over the garbage can again.

Louis was a disaster the first two days, he must have cried just as much as I had but the third day and today we both are doing better. Neither have us cried once and it's almost nighttime.

Just then Dr. Garcia walks in and replaces the medicine with fluids that lead to my hand.

"How are you doing today?" She asks me and I give her a small smile.

"Shitty, but I'm getting used to it." I laugh but neither of them laugh back.

"Do you want anything to eat?"

"No I'll just throw it back up. Can I get a shower?" I ask, pulling myself out of Louis lap. My body aches and each movement feels like I'm being stabled.

"Yes, I'll get a nurse to.."

"No I'll be fine by myself." I interrupt her as she sighs.

"Leah, you haven't been on your feet in three days. You are going to have a hard enough time staying up let along getting a shower." She informs me and I shoot her daggers.

"Louis will help me." I snap at her and she looks at him then back to me. I haven't got a shower since I've been here and I will get one.

"Okay." She hums, disconnecting the tube from my IV that's connected to the fluids.

"If you need anything let me know." She says to Louis before leaving.

He remains sitting for a moment then rises to his feet. He wraps his arms around my waist as I stand to my feet. My legs are shot down with pain and my legs give out but he catches me before I fall. He carefully picks me up bridal style as he carries me to the bathroom that is attached to my hospital room. He sits me down on the closed toilet lid and bends down. I sit there motionless with my eyes closed but I can tell he is watching me as he waits for instructs.

"Are you hurting?" He whispers and I slightly nod, not wanting to move a muscle.

I feel his fingers hook around the waist band of my sweatpants, slowly pulling them down around my calfs along with my panties. His hands then grab the bottom of his hoodie, carefully pulling it over my head but pains hit my arms as I have to lift them up. He reaches around me and unclasp a my bra, removing it from my body leaving me only in my bare skin. I keep my eyes closed when he picks me up again and sits me down on the bench that is part of the shower. I rest my head against the wall and I hear the water being turned on through the shower hose.

Warm water then hits on my shoulders and runs down my back. I slouch over from the relief the warm water. He guides the hose down to my stomach then over my legs. Once I'm completely wet, he lets it hang down and the water barely touches my toes by the drain.

He moves the washcloth over my body as he barely presses down on my skin to wash me. He carefully washes my body while I sit still, trying to ignore the pain that over fills me.

He puts shampoo on the top of my head and he threads his fingers through my hair. All of a sudden he gasps and I know exactly was is happening.

"Leah.." His voice is on the verge of crying and I reach out my hand to grab onto his t-shirt. I ignore the pain as I pat his chest to comfort him.

"I know, it's okay." I whisper to him with my eyes closed shut.

He sniffles his nose as he rinses out the soap from my hair. Once he is done, he turns off the water. He dries me off with a towel then wraps it around my body.

"Can I look at myself in the mirror?" I ask, finally opening my eyes.

I look at Louis and his eyes are bloodshot and glassy with tear stains starting from his eyes that end at the bottom of his cheeks.

"Are you sure?" He whispers and I nod.

He lifts me up and carries me over to the mirror above the sink.

I look at the girl in mirror, she barely looks like me. My collarbones stick out further and my face has no chub left on it. I must have lost ten or so pounds in the last couple days. I have black circles around my eyes and I look up to my hair. My hair begins to fall out, patches of it gone. In about another day it will be all gone. I close my eyes and I rest my head on Louis chest.

He helps me get dressed then lays me back in the inclined bed. He pulls then blankets up to my waist, chills run up my spine and I begin to shiver.

"Are you better now?" I open my eyes to nod in response.

"Thank you." I whisper, flashing him a smile.

"I'm going to get something to eat at the cafeteria real quick, I'll be back." He tells me.

I nod and I try to lean up to kiss him but my body prevents me. He sees what I try to do and he leans down, placing his lips on mine. His mouth moves in sync with mine and I smile against him. I love when his lips are pressed to mine, it makes the pain disappear.

"I love you." I whisper to him when he pulls away.

"I love you baby." He smiles and kisses my forehead before walking out of the room.

I watch him leave and I stare at the door as I wait for him to come back. After a few minutes, I grab the hairbrush beside me and I run it through my remaining hair which falls out too.

I jump as the door opens and I shoot my eyes at the boy who stands by it. Niall is wearing a black winter coat with snow sticking to his blonde hair. He has tears running down his cheeks and he strides towards me. He wraps his arms around me, hugging me carefully and buries his face into my neck.

"I'm so sorry." Niall cries into me and my heart aches. I hate seeing him cry.

"Did Liam tell you?" I ask him and he nods. I wish he didn't. Small tears fall from my eyes as he pulls himself away from me. He reaches over and captures the tear rolling down my cheek.

"Are you okay?"

"Honestly no I'm not but I'm dealing with it." I admit to him. For some reason I feel like I can tell Niall that I'm not okay, unlike how I have to lie to Louis and tell him I'm okay when I'm really not.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" He asks me and I nod.

"I need to talk to someone but I can't talk to Louis about it." I stammer and he gestures for me to continue as he sits one the bed in front of me, resting his hand on top of my knee.

"I can't deal with this. I hurt all the time and I keep getting these thoughts." I say in a low voice.

"What thoughts?" He asks me.

"That if I just die I won't have to go through all this pain. I won't suffer, I won't throw up constantly, and I won't cry all the time. You don't know how many ways I plan out in my head how to just end my life."

"Leah don't talk like that. Do you know how many people love you? It will break everyone's heart."

"I'm not going to though, I can't hurt Louis or Liam like that. I promised to fight and I will because I'm planning on beating cancer, but I just sometimes think that it would be so easier if it just happened."

"Please don't. Please stop thinking like that." He begs me and I nod.

"I'll try. It's hard Niall. You have no clue what I have gone through the last three days. It's been hell. I try so hard to be strong for Louis because I know how much it hurts him to be here and see all the pain I'm in. I just want all the pain to go away, for the both of us." I try to catch my breath as I rushed the words out.

"Can I tell you something? It's okay to cry sometimes and it's okay not to be strong all the time Leah."

"I'm tired of crying." Tears flood my eyes and I try my hardest to blink them away while a lump grows in my throat.

"You only can go up hill from here. You are going to get better, I promise you. God has a plan for you and your life isn't ending here. Everything that has happened to you has made you a stronger person for you to live a wonderful life in the future. Don't give up now when everything is just about to get better." He tries to motivate me and it works. I never knew Niall had a soft spot like this before, I wish he would have had it before.

"You are right, thank you." I whisper to him and he hugs me. He pulls me into his arms and I rest my head against his chest. I wrap my arms around his waist as we sit there.

"How are you and Miranda doing?" I bring up.

"We don't have to talk about that." He reassures me and I shake my head.

"You can tell me, I'm nosey anyways." I say and he laughs.

"I tried what you told me to do and it worked. I finally can tell her that I love her now. We are better." He tells me and I can tell he is smiling.

"I'm glad everything is working out better."

"So I heard you and Louis are dating now." He says and I smile, nodding to him.

"Well tell me about it, I'm nosey." He mocks me and I laugh lightly into the fabric that is clung to his chest.

"There isn't much to tell. We are just good." I smile at the thought that Louis is actually my boyfriend.

"So are we good now?" He voice is low and guarded.

"I think we are." I flash him a smile.

"I miss you." He whispers to me.

In reality, I do miss him. I don't love him, but I do miss the friendship that we once had. But I will never forgive him for what he did to me.

The door opens once again and Louis appears in the doorway before I could give Niall a response. His eyes widen as he sees Niall's arms wrapped around me.

"Sorry to interrupt anything but Ella is crying and she wants to see you." Louis words are off, almost in a harsh tone. I pull myself out of Niall's arms, sitting myself up.

"I'll get you a wheelchair." Louis announces, leaving the room for a moment.

"If you need anything you call me and I'll come see you tomorrow." Niall whispers to me, kissing my cheek before Louis walks back in.

Louis picks me up and sits me down on the seat. He quickly turns on his heels so his back is to Niall and we leave the room.

Louis pushes me in the wheelchair down the hall in silence and into Ella's room and she's bawling her eyes out. Doctors are standing around her and her eyes meet mine.

"Leah!" She cries and the doctors turn around to see me. Louis pushes me past the doctors until I'm right beside her.

"What's wrong?" I ask her and she sits up, wrapping her arms around me. She squeezes me too tightly, making me hurt more than I just was but I don't stop her. I wrap my arms around her as she hides her face into. My shirt is wet within seconds.

"They want me to do another treatment but I just did one yesterday. I don't want to." She cries and I run my hand over her back in attempt to comfort her.

"Hey it's okay. They are trying to make you better. Remember how much you want to go home? If you don't listen to them you won't be able to." I whisper in her ear, trying to persuade her. I look across the room and her mom is crying too.

"I'll stay here with you, if you want me to." I offer and she pulls her head up to look at me.

"Please stay." She begs and I nod, helping her back up to the bed.



I spend the next five hours sitting with Ella through her treatment and she gets just as bad as I do. The first two hours we watch The Little Mermaid while we color in her princess coloring books. She is that happy person that I've grown very fond to. By the third hour, she starts throwing up and I would do anything to take away the pain she is in. Her mom tries to help, but Ella just screams at her to go away and tells her mom that I will help her and I did. About the fourth hour, she tells me about her dad. She says her dad was walking home and a car swerved and hit him. She says even though she doesn't remember him, she loves him with all of her heart. The last hour I spend with her, she climbs off the bed and sits in my lap. I hold her, ignoring my pain, as she falls asleep. Her mom comes over and picks her up, laying her back in bed.

"Thank you for that, for everything." Carey smiles at me and I nod.

"If she needs anything please let me know." I tell her and I look for Louis but he is gone.

"Can you um.. take me back to my room? My arms hurt." I ask her and she smiles.

"Of course I can."

She pushes me back into my room and helps me up to my bed. She parks the wheelchair across the room.

"Louis wanted me to tell you he went back to the flat to get some clothes but he would be back." Carey says to me as he pulls the blanket over my legs and up to my waist.

"When did he leave?"

"He left as soon as he brought you over to Ella's room." She tells me and I sigh.

He has even gone for five hours, maybe he is done with you. My self-conscious tells me but I ignore her. Louis wouldn't do that to me. He may be pissed off at me because Niall came to see me, but he loves me and he promises he would never leave me.

"Well thank you for helping me." I thank her and she leaves.

I sit in the room by myself, staring at the white wall in front of me. A nurse comes in and hooks me up to my IV again then leaves.

I reach over and I grab my phone off the table. Within rings, he picks up.

"Hey." Niall's voice booms through the phone.

"Are you back at the flat?"

"Yes I am and Louis just left."

"Is he mad at me? Did he say anything to you?"

"I don't know and you know Louis, of course he did. But don't worry about it, I'm a big boy." He tells me and I hear Harry ask in the background if it's me.

"Yes it's Leah." He tells them.

"Hi Leah!" I hear Harry, Zayn, Liam and Anna scream. I laugh to myself and he laughs too.

"What are you doing up this late anyways? It's past midnight."

"I just got back to my room."

"Well go get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow." He says and I can tell he is smiling through the phone.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He tells me and I hang up.

I toss my phone back on the stand and I pull my knees into my chest. I pull the blanket up to my chin and I close my eyes.

About an hour later, I feel the bed dip down beside me and I turn to bury my face in Louis's chest. He wraps his arms around me and I finally feel like myself, I feel whole again.
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Soooooo Niall......


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