My heart pumped in great pressure as I continued to look around. Nothing. There was nothing there. Harry was asleep and nothing could have possibly been there. I shuffled around our bed as I turned to face harry. He broughy his arms up further my waiste until he suddenly stopped. He quickly inched my closer to him. Short breaths escaped his mouth then out came one loud snort. He snorted again until a little white liquid came out from his nose. It made its was around the corner of his lips slowly easing down his jaw. The substance gleamed under the little moonlight peaking through the cracks of the exposed window. It started to go down his chest but it didnt seem to have a wet look. The liquid looked almost dry even though it contained the consistency of a liquid. I brought my finger over the top part of his nose where it all came out. With a light tap it was all over my fingers. I swirled it around between my thumb and index finger then swatted it away gently. I rubbed it on the hem of my shirt but as soon as i whiped it, there was more on my hands and shirt. The liquid reproduced the more I had it. My eyes flicked back at Harry and the liquid stopped pouring out his nostrils. There was no more escaping from his nose. But, the liquid appeared crispy. It had sort of a hard look. I went down with my finger again and felt a sharp sting on my finger tip. I yelped in pain as the liquid started to bubble right where I touched it. I grabbed the hem of the bed sheet and quickly rubbed it on his body. Sparks started to come out of the rubbing I was making. I removed the cloth and saw it. There were cuts seeping into his body right where the liquid was. They engraved into his smooth skin running down from the edges of his lips to his bare chest. Blood didn't from them no, but they looked deep. There was dry blood all over the corners of the cuts. They looked old as if they were already there. But, they just appeared little then a minute ago. My heart pumped even more then before. The mumbling was back. The walls whispered words into my ears quickly absorbing its words then releasing them again. It was a constant mumble between words and static. They grew louder and louder dispersing into the bare air. The closer they got to me the more they grew pitchier. I covered my ears with my hands and fumbled to the ground. My body ached the closer they got. It felt heavier and heavier. The more the words reached me, the more my body felt heavy. The more I had wieghts on the sholders of my weak body. I slammed straight onto the ground and leaned my head back on the hardwood floor. The air thinned out as I took in fewer and fewer breathes. My eyes began to close shut slowly batting closed. The words mumbled in circles around me. But slowly, everything was drawing black. Everything was oozing together forming one big picture, darkness.
"Samantha… Samantha… Samantha. Wake up. Wake up Samantha" My body turned left and right under the shaking of someone else. I shifted my weight around until the shaking grew larger.
"Samantha! Wake up!" My eyes quickly opened wide as I stood up. I fell back a little at the involuntary response. I scratched my eyes and then looked around.
"Sam right here" I turned around and saw Harry standing in his briefs and coffee cup. He sipped the cup gently as I turned around once more. I was in the kitchen.
The cold tile floor bit my skin as I continued to peap myself off the floor. My palms touched the floor as I pushed myself up. Harry's eyes examined my every move as I began to get off the floor. I watched him slowly sip his cup. His lips left a wet mark around the tip of the cup. The fresh scent of coffee arose to my nostrils.
"What? Wait um, why did you put me on the ground?" Harry brought the cup down to the table and walked over to where I currently laid.
" I didn't. You happened to do that yourself." A look of concern gleamed in Harry's eyes.
"Wa-Wait huh? how? " I gulped down a knot of salvia.
"Shit. No this can't be happening again." I paced back and forth between the small area of kitchen Harry owned. My hands traveled up gripping onto a patch of hair. I pushed myself back to the wall and slid down onto floor.
How? Why is this happening again? This shouldn't be happening again. I thought it was over. I cant be doing this again. Harry slowly inched towards me. He croached down onto his knees and put his arm onto my spine. His thumbs rubbed small circles onto my back as he slowly took breaths onto my neck. I looked back up at him and met his eyes. Everytime I look at his eyes they look different. They have different personalities everytime you closely look at them. They have so many different sides to them. Each time I look at them, it's like I meet a new side if him. They tell a different story. I batted my eyes more. Each time I blinked, I found it harder to keep them open. A wave of water splashed at the walls keeping it from releasing. More and more pressure applied to the wall. In no time the waves would crash onto the wall and out would it would come. Harry's eyes softened as he kept looking me straight in the eye. I broke the contact but could still feel the piercing feeling of his eyes straight on me. Why could this happen to me again? I thought that this stopped. The worst part of this is that when they came back, there was no telling when they would leave. That was the issue. A damp feelig grew on my cheaks. A small wet feeling streamed down on my face. It was the first drip that came out the faucet. Before tons and tons of streams poured out.
"What's wrong? babe please stop" His voice softened at the last of his words.
I sighed.
"Everything. This can't be happening again Harry. This is aweful. I thought it was just a dream again but it felt so real. I actually thought that you had creaves piercing into your skin. It looked like you actually had wripped flesh all over your body. I thought it was just a fucking dream but i ended up in the kitchen. That meant I was sleep walking. Last time this fucking happened, I, I fucking died. I didn't even rest in my dreams. This is absolutely aweful. I won't be able to stop having them they dont just take over my sleep they take over in the day time too! Do you think I want that? Do you think I want to be in class one day and just fucking see all this shit! No! Obvousily not! Harry, I just don't know what to do."
I burried my face into Harry's sholder and just cried. I could barely keep my breathing straight. I can't even cry and breath at the same time. Harry's grasp around me pulled me even tighter. His arms snaked around my entire body, he was so big and I'm so small compared to him. If he held me even tighter, I would snap. He slowly loosened his grip and sat me right in front of him. He sat indian style in front me and then held my hands with his bare hands.
"I am not going to let you face this alone then. If I have to I will sneak into your house every night if I fucking have to." He gripped onto my hands even tighter.
"But wait. How did this even start?! Sam wait. When did this start?"
That was one of the last things I wanted to tell him. I'm not perfect for one, and I do a lot of stuff just to feel. But this is one of things I would rather keep to myself. He doesn't need to know.
"Um nothing."
I got up and started to walk into the bathroom.
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AHHH!okay so im sooososooosooo sorry about not updating in forever! I was going through stuff but im here now! Again with my excuses but im soososo sorry! MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS I HOPE YOU RECIEVED EVERYTHING! BUT I HOPE YOU GAVE BACK ASWELL!
Im sooo pleased with my reads and votes guys this felt so amazing to see them thank you soo incredibly much
I want you to know that you arent alone and if you ever ever absolutly need to talk im here! You are perfect the way you are. You arent fat, stupid, or useless etc. You have a purpose here and you must do it! Life is a journey and you have to just go with it!
stay safe and stong
xxx,
samiluvs1d
ps. my name is so carroty lol
pps. buy stay safe i mean keep out of trouble and dont do drugs cdfu theyre bad and dangerous.
(12/29/13)
YOU ARE READING
ILLEGAL LOVE
Fanfiction*HARRY STYLES FANFICTION * Out of my 13 years of living not once have i felt wanted or appreciated by anyone. No matter where i turn i always hit a dead end. Not one person wants me. No one. Not at school, not at home, not anywhere. I just want to m...
