Born This Way

Chapter 21.

*This chapter is a flashback.*

It was back in 2009, and I was about to turn fifteen.

“Ali! Aria! Come here, please!!” Jenna said coming up to us holding her two month old baby brother, Alex in her arms. “Hey Jenna.. What’s wrong?” I asked by the frantic look on her face.

“My dad was taken to the ER. He had a heart attack.” She said. “My mom went with him but Toby and I needed to stay home to watch Alex. But I need to be there, just in case.. You know..” she said starting to tear up. “I need to say goodbye to him.”

“Say no more.” Ali said taking Alex from her. Jenna and I were never really ‘close’. But we were always friendly, and we hung out outside sometimes, if we both happened to be walking to the mail box at the same time, or she was out walking her dog and I was taking a jog around the neighboorhood. So I guess you could say she trusted me with her brother. Not that she had a choice, really. And she knew Ali. I mean, Emily, Spencer, Hanna, Alison, Jenna and I had all gone to same school with each other since Sixth grade. “Great, thank you guys.” She said running back to her house, and so we followed her. I walked into her house where Toby was, scribling out phone numbers on the back of a take out menu. “Thanks guys.” He said grabbing his keys off the counter. “I just fed him, so keep him up for another thirty or so minutes then just put him to bed.” Jenna said.

“He’ll be fine.” Ali assured her.

“Great, thanks.” Jenna said walking out the door.

“Thank you again.” Toby said grabbing my chin and kissing me. Oh, yeah, did I mention that Toby and I had been dating for almost a year at this point? I smiled at him and he walked out of the door. Alison waited till she knew he couldn’t hear us then said “You’re gonna make me puke. don’t kiss him in front of me.”

“Come on Ali, you know I’m trying to break up with him. It’s just every time I get the courage to, something happens. He tells me he loves me, he kisses me, he buys me earrings, he tells me how hard his life has been recently, I mean how can I break up with him after he tells me ‘I’m the only good thing in his life.’” we walked over to the couch and sat down with Alex. “I know Aria, but you have to do it.” she said.

“But I love him so much..” I sighed.

“Aria. You cant do this anymore.” she said. I didn’t say anything. “Do you wanna talk about it?” She asked.

“Yeah.” I answered her. “But lets put Alex down first..” So we did, we laid him in his crib. But he wouldn’t stop crying.

“He’s uncomfortable!” Ali said. “I would be too if I had to lay on this mattress on my back. Put him on his stomach.” she said.

“Hello? Ali? SIDS?”

“Relax he’s old enough. My mom put my and my brother on our stomachs, we’re just fine.” I looked at her and rolled my eyes.

“Okay fine…” I said I turned him over and made sure he was okay. He stopped crying and seemed to be comfortable.

“Alright lets go” She said. So the two of us walked out into the living room again. Ali and I sat down with the baby monitor. You could hear Alex breathing loudly. “What do you always tell me?” Ali questioned me. I sighed.

“If you know you’re not gonna marry him, don’t date him.” I answered. “Right.” she said turning my own advise against me. “You can’t marry him.”

“I might..” I said

“Not unless things change. You can’t change him. If you date him any longer he will change you. What about that Bible verse, “Bad company ruins good morals.? ” I sighed knowing she was right. Toby was two years older then me. He was going away to college next year. And he wasn’t exactly bad, but he wasn’t exactly.. Good. I mean I met him at church, but that didn’t stop him from trying to turn kiss into making out. It felt so right every time, but afterwards, I felt horrible about it. But I was determined to never let myself have sex with him. So when he tried to take my shirt off when we were making out on his couch, I yelled at him, told him if he kissed me, even once, the entire month I was breaking up with him. If he could not kiss me the whole month, we could still be together. I knew if he could keep his hands off me, then he was really in this relationship for ME, for who I was. And he did it. So we stayed together. But I knew I needed to end it with him. I was going to this weekend until I heard about his dad. “I think I might let it be for now.” I said. “I won’t marry him. I’m just enjoying being with him for now. And I’m to young to think about being married anyway.” I said trying to talk myself into staying with Toby.

“Be careful.” Ali told me.

“I will I promise.” I said. We sat in silence for a second. It was too silent. Something wasn’t right. “Did.. You turn the baby monitor off?” I said.

“No. did you?” Ali said.

“We should go check on him. I cant hear him anymore.” I said panicked.

“I bet he’s fine.” she assured me. But I still got up and went into his nursery very franticly. And laying in the crib when we walked in, was Jenna’s and Toby’s dead two month old baby brother.