Born This Way

Chapter 16.

“Want me to feed her?” Ezra asked.

“No thanks I got it.” I said.

“Okay then, you sure? You look really tired..” he said. I took the bottle Mike just handed me.

“Really, I’m ok. I just want her in my arms.” I said putting the bottle into her open mouth. “I will let you hold her soon, I promise.” I said to Ezra and Mike. They both held her while I was asleep, and so did my dad. But ever since Ezra placed her in my arms an hour and seven minutes ago, I wouldn’t let anyone hold her. She was all mine!

There was a knock on the door and my father walked in. “Byron I don’t think..” my mom started.

“No.. it’s ok mom. I guess he can come in.” I said. My dad cautiously walked in.

“Ezra, do you mind if Ella and I talk to Aria alone?” Ezra looked at me and I nodded, so he smiled at me then walked out of the room. My dad sat down on my bed, and my mom followed.

“She’s beautiful.” he started.

“Thanks..” I said looking into her beautiful blue eyes, avoiding looking into my dads. Phoebe had Toby’s eyes. I didn’t want to be reminded of Toby every time I looked at Phoebe. But I had to admit, her eyes were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen in a baby.

“What are you thinking?” he asked. “Are you keeping her?” my eyes widened.

“Yes, of course I am.” I said.

“listen, Aria.” he started. “I know how much you love your siblings and how good you are with kids. And I know you’ve wanted to be a mom since you were five. And I know you have a lot of money saved up. And lastly I know how much you and Ezra love each other. Well I think I’m started to realize it. So for those reason I will let you keep her. But I’m… suggesting… you do what’s best for her and put her up for adoption. Because you know in your heart that’s the mature thing to do.” he said. It was silent for a minute. I made up my mind I was keeping her. She was given to me for a reason. Then, something flew out of my mouth. Something I didn’t mean to say.

“I’m not giving my child away just because It gets hard. That’s you. Not me.” 

My parents had a ‘rough’ path in their marriage, and started neglecting us kids. I don’t remember much. I was only six. Skylar was nine, and poor Mike was only four. We went to live with my grandmother for the entire summer. We all had fun, and we didn’t know much was up. We thought we were there for a vacation for the first few weeks. Then a month past, and we all knew something was really wrong. Especially Skylar. She stopped eating to get attention, and I remember being up in the middle of the night, ease dropping on my grandma’s phone call with my mother. Grandma was ripping my mom apart, asking how dare she put her own children through this. Grandma put Skylar in therapy. At the age of nine.

We went home before school started, and it took a good three months to get back to normal. But eventually we all stopped acting like something was always wrong. We all got happy again, and mom and dad fell in love again. But the three of us will never forget laying up at night, all laying the same bed to feel like we weren’t alone, and we’ll never forget the day we heard our father tell our mom that he hated her. And I’m sure Mike will never forget the day he saw mom slap dad right across the face.

“Aria Rachel Montgomery!!” My dad said. “You watch how you talk to your parents. Just because you’re a parent yourself doesn’t mean -” “Byron!” my mom cut him off. My dad looked at me with angry eyes.

 “You have no place to judge me as a parent. When you can‘t even pay for your baby. If you really loved her, you wouldn’t have gotten pregnant with her in the first place. Such an immature mistake you made, Aria.”

“Byron, leave.” my mom said. “Before you say anything else you don’t mean.”

but I wasn’t done with him. “Dad. You look at me, and you wonder why I’m doing things you THINK are so stupid. Have you ever considered its because I learned it from you?” I said. My dad took a deep breath. Then without another word, left the room. 

“Wow..” my mom said like she just watched a cat fight.

“Wanna pretend the last five minutes of our lives never happened?” I asked. “Yes, lets do that..” she said. Then she looked at Phoebe. “Does blue eyes run in Ezra’s family?” she asked. “It doesn’t run in ours… I would think she’d have dark drown eyes to match her dark brown hair. I mean I have brown eyes, dad does, you do, Ezra does, all of your siblings do…”

“Uh.. Nope.. It doesn’t.” I said bracing myself to tell my mom. It didn’t come out like you’d expect. You’d think I’d try and hide it longer. And I’d be nervous to tell her. But all this sleep deprivation has helped me to be able to spill my secrets and tell the truth like I was telling a fairy tale to Lilia. So I spilled it all to my mom. That Toby and Jenna have five secrets about me. One, about Ezra and I.

Two, about Mike’s stealing.

Three, about my little ’puking secret’ as Jenna called it,

And the other two, I can’t even think about. 

But slowly, one by one, they leaked out.

Ezra was first, but only because of the car wreck. Yet, Jenna didn’t know my parents knew and she sent the text three mornings after. Of course my mom just deleted the text and pretended she didn’t get it. Then, without my dad knowing, she deleted it off his phone before he read it.

Then, she sent the one about Mike.

I’m sure the puking secret was next. Maybe she already sent it and I just didn’t know. Anyway, those three secrets were NOTHING compared to the other two they had on me. I told my mom the reason I was blackmailed into sleeping with him, that is was a huge secret. I also told her I wasn’t ready to tell her the secret yet. But that I would soon, and that it wasn’t a dangerous secret. That was only half a lie. With Toby away I could breath easier. But still, if he comes back I might lock myself in a closet until he’s gone. Anyway, those secrets were the reasons I kept my mouth shut about being forced into bed with Toby. I wouldn’t dare give into him without a fight unless he had threatened me. Honestly the SECRET he had over me wasn’t even enough. It was when he threatened to kill Mike that I gave up. I knew he was serious. To him, it wasn’t called black mail. It was called revenge.