Born This Way

Chapter 13.

“I just don’t even know what to do..” I said. I was now laying in the hospital bed. I had just gotten to have a second to think. I had to do the ‘right after birth’ medical stuff, and they took the baby off to get checked on and then I told them to take her to the nursery, NOT to bring her back here at first because I needed a minute to think. “what do you mean? just sit here and relax, take a breath.” “I know it sounds crazy, but I really don’t.. I don’t even know anything. I know I need to see her, make sure she’s alright, talk about what happened, how it happened, what’s going to happen, and I need to just.. Just sit here and do nothing but be with you. But I don’t want to do any of those things. Which makes me want to cry my eyes out because I’m so stressed, or sleep because I don’t wanna be awake to think. But I cant do those things either! Im just so.. So.. I don’t know! See? I don’t even know what I am!”

“then maybe sleeping is a good idea.” he said.

“Sleep so that when you wake up maybe your head will be clear.” “

Ezra I just had a baby. A baby. Im a mother. And I didn’t even know I was pregnant. I don’t think im gonna have a clear mind for the next week or so.” I said.

“I think once you hold her your gonna think differently about all of this.”

I just shook my head.

“I hope. Hey Ezra, I know you’re still sore from the wreck, but can you lay in bed with me?” I asked. He nodded and climbed into bed next to me and put his arm around me. a lot happened after that. Doctors came in, asked me more questions. They told me that the baby was most likely five weeks early, which is amazing since I didn’t gain a pound. They said that in SOME very RARE cases the baby’s in a place where she can grow to full term and you not show at all. So that’s just what happened. Im still in shock. I wore a size two the whole time.

Then during that, a nurse came in and told me my parents wanted to see me. I didn’t want to see my dad, I was too mad and scared. So I made a risky decision and said “only my mom.” so she came in, and at this point I didn’t want to talk to anyone and I made that clear. even though I wanted to be alone with just my mom and Ezra, the nurses kept talking. So I closed my eyes and listened. “But why didn’t she feel sick up until a day before?” my mom asked the doctors. They replied “Well, she was one of the lucky girls who didn’t have any symptoms.” “Yeah, lucky me…” I muttered. She ignored me and kept talking. “Most woman get really sick right before and during labor. That‘s why she didn‘t get sick until this week” “So, she had.. That short of a labor?” Ezra asked. The nurses looked to me. “We didn’t get the labor story from mom yet.” my eyes shot open. “But my mom wasn’t even home..” I told them. “Hun.” the nurse said. “when I said mom, I meant you.”