Defective (completed)

16 crosses to bare

I was left staring off into the direction he had went. He seemed to have the ability to make me feel like shit with only a few simple words. He just always seems to be right. I am selfish, and childish. I just can't see past my own nose sometimes, I know this is how I am, but it still gets to me. When someone Calls bullshit on me. No one likes to hear their downfalls outside of their own head. When someone says it out loud it's like their voice is screaming over and over again in your head. There's is the only voice that matters, echoes the words you don't want to hear. Screams what you know is true. And for me of all voices screaming something in my head Zander is the only one I never wanted to hear. In the short time I've known him, he's become a bright spot. The only one who can see things that not everyone else can see in me, I guess it must've been the mating bond.

As I sat in the field racking my brain over the conversation me and Zander had. Things just kept popping out, things kept screaming that I didn't notice something. I don't know how I could've missed it. The bells are now ringing in my head clear as day. His skin look pale but, like he hadn't ventured outside in weeks, dark circles painted his eyes, and his clothes didn't fit as they normally would. He didn't look at all that different from myself, he looked like he been trapped in a bedroom, like he had quarantined himself in there like I had Done to myself.

"fuck."I grown frustrated with myself how did I not notice how did I not say anything?

I know how you can help him. Luna informed me.

If I could help him... Even if I could erase all the pain. But nothing comes free, and I'm not sure if I could handle the consequence of this. I-I Don't trust her anymore. I. . .

No! Stay out of my head! I hissed.

I could feel her shrinking back to the far corners of my mind. To my shock she didn't insist on telling me anything, she didn't put up much of a fight. But I still wonder what it was, I just don't have time though. For once my person life needs to take a step back and I need to own up to my responsibilities. I... Need to go to Teddy. He's at the top of my list right now. No matter what I want he's not gonna go away, I can't pretend that didn't happen. I need to deal with this. I don't have a choice.

As I walk to the far edges of the castle grounds.. I could smell him. I could feel him. Just another fucked up the fact of what he did that night. It almost feels like another stab to the Heart, like this is some sort of gloating for him. The fact that I can feel him is like it's, happening all over again. He's hurting me. That I have to deal with him is hurting me. I can't escape him. He is in my blood now, in my soul even before he bit me. I would never be able to erase his for my mind. But to create this bond that wasn't supposed to be there, it's not right. He's left a mark that no one could overpower a mark that can never go away.

Before I knew it I stood outside of the sizable servant quarters and everything in me screamed for him. I could find him no matter what now, because of the bond. It's like he's under my skin now, a part of me I can never outrun. But it's kind of weird how things can turn out though. Not that long ago Zander was the enemy, and Teddy was... Everything. Before this mate bond I always had a line on Teddy, I just knew what to expect.

His wolf has always been the mystery. The untamable wildcard. The human side of him was a book, it was always open to me. The fact that I didn't know he was a werewolf is why, I don't know how to predict his wolfs actions.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice, when muscular arms were wrapped around me. As I took a deep breath, I knew who it was. I sent that I could love, and loath all at once. Teddy. These tingle shot through my body, try to force me to melt into his warmth, but I fought against it. I told myself over and over, in my head this wasn't right, he's not the one who I should be with. I have to keep saying it over and over again. I didn't want to melt into him. I don't want to want him. Zander Zander Zander Zander . I kept chanting, he's my mate. I tensed further with those thoughts in my mind. And balled my fist up at my sides. I wanted to do nothing more than punching his face, for what he's done. But I know I wouldn't be able to help myself. I wouldn't stop. Just one punch would never be enough.