Defective (completed)

To give, and give in

I was wallowing in my room, consumed by my circumstance. I feel as if I have aged 20 years since coming here, finding out what I am, since everything. I have lost so much the day my deepest dream came true. I almost wish my parents never found me, that the last Luna didn't take off the restriction over the defectives. I didn't notice how my new life had no reminisce of my former life, and for the first time, I wanted it back.

GOD!

I clutched my head as another stream of pain invaded my mind. I haven't talked to my wolf since the night of the party. She has never really done anything to help me. The minutes her voice floated through my mind my life was derailed. She is the most is the dominate reminder, I have of all the thing's I have lost, and chances I will never get. I'm a wolf, and I can't ever be normal again. I'm ruined for normal life, for normal human society. I don't fit with them anymore.

"Honey when is this going to stop!" My dad asked me gently.

He's the only person I have talked to since the party. The only person face, that doesn't send me into a rage, he's all I have left. He came to me and leaned beside me on my bed looking down at me. Worry clouded his face, as he whipped the blood from my noses with the sleeve of his blue shirt. The material feels rough against my nose, but I don't pull away. I couldn't even if I wanted to.

My body is dieing, and I can't seem to find it in me to care. I don't want to be a wolf, the made Luna, or here. But I can't press rewined on my life. So death seems like the next best option. I want to be no more, to feel the peace that only death will give me. I have given in. I can't stand to see my friend's with there happy mates, and simple lives. I can't pretend to be happy for them, when all I wish is to see them as unhappy as me. To know what I feel, and . . I don't . Something, something.

"It's not the end of the world for you trin. I'm sure you will get through this, you need to." My father tells me, but I can here the doute in his voice. He's unsure if this is the end for me or not. He isn't sure if I can survive this, survive myself.

"Don't say that to me, you don't understand. You have a mate." I spat at him.

My mother had been avoiding me at all cost. She can't be around me without wanting to submit to the power I radiate. She isn't a born beta. She mated with my dad to gin power, it isn't a part of her family lineage. She is still weak when faced with real born power.

"I don't have to get through this. There will always be another, there is always a made Luna. Non of manage to stay alive very long anyway, I am no different from then the rest." I snapped.

They won't need me, one of us die's a few years later another takes her place. It has been that way for years, I am one of the  hundred  made's.

"Don't you dare say that Trinity. Don't talk like that! The other Luna's didn't kill them self, they didn't just give up." He screamed at me. The whole time he's been at my side, he has never once raised his voice to me. It kind of brings me back to when I first met him, and the fights we had. "which is what your doing. They died, they where murdered, or there mates where murder, then they where murdered right after." he angrily said, as he got off my bed.

"Fuck them!." I sat up feeling my anger rise at his words. " It's worse for me, My mate was taken from me. It's worse for me dad. I have to walk around and see what I can never have. My mate was stolen from me, and is being paraded before me. Oh and the most messed up part is that, it wasn't some my enemies, sickness, or someone that just hated me. No but someone I trusted, someone I cared about." I couldn't even bring my self to utter his name. "And now I'm stuck with the one that took my mate away, forever. I can never leave, this is my life now. So ya I happen to not want anything to do with life now, so what. I never asked your opinion, so you can either shut up, or leave." I screamed.