One night. That’s all you needed with him, one fucking night. Your best friend, Harry, was off on tour on Saturday and all you wanted was one final Friday night alone. You just wanted to watch cheesy chick flicks and eat popcorn and listen to good music until early hours of the morning.
"I can’t do tonight, sorry.
H x”
That’s all he wrote. Five fucking words, the asshole. That was the only explanation he gave you for standing you up for some whore his friends had set him up with. Fucking great, you thought.
You couldn’t help but pick up your razor and hold its cold metal blade against your skin. You’d stopped cutting your arms long ago, it was too obvious. Too “attention seeking”, they’d called it. Instead, you’d taken to cutting your stomach and thighs because you rarely wore short tops or skirts and bottoms that came higher than your thighs. It felt good to just run the blade by your skin, to feel its cold silver touch caress your skin. You’d been free from self harm for nearly two months now, ever since Harry had been back at home.
You pulled off your pants, ready to get changed into a pair of shorts that would allow for easier access to your desired spot in which you would self harm. Your shorts were far too happy for your liking - the bubblegum pink boxers with smiling clouds on it were almost mocking you. You lined the blade up with your skin and then pushed it in deep. Through your tears you released a sigh of relief, as if you’d been waiting a whole lifetime to do that. And that’s when you heard it.
The door downstairs had flung wide open and you could hear somebody making their way up the stairs. You knew that pitter patter of worn out boots far too well - it was Harry, the only person you didn’t want to see you like this.
"Don’t come in!" You yelled as you frantically rushed to the door. He couldn’t see you in this state, he’d been too freaked out, too disgusted.
“It’s just me…” He said as he tried to push back on the door. He was stronger than you and pushed the door open and slid inside.
“Don’t look at me, Harry!” You nearly screamed, turning away from him and trying to hide the razor as quickly as you could. You needed a cloth, something to stop the bleeding without Harry knowing.
“What the fuck is wrong?!” Harry half yelled, confused by the situation. “Is this because I didn’t fucking hang out with you? Grow up…”
Harry had one hell of a temper when he wanted to. It wasn’t necessarily that he was angry with you right now, he was just angry with the way you were acting towards him. He knew you the best out of everybody, even better than your parents and childhood friends and so you acting like this towards him wasn’t ordinary and definitely shocked him.
"Just fucking go home, Harry!" You whimpered, pushing your leg against your duvet cover to try and stop the bleeding.
“What the fuck…” He gasped as he saw your blood stain sheets. “What the fuck have you done?!”
Harry’s expression turned from anger to panic almost instantly. His breathing became heavier and his eyes looked scared, childlike.
"Oh my god…" He mumbled. "Oh my god."
“Harry, go home…” You whispered, breaking down and falling to the floor, overcome with emotion.
“Why did you do that?” He asked, rushing to your side.
“I just wanted one more night with you…” You whimpered.
“Oh my god…” Harry said, choking back tears.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Harry.” You said. Harry’s arms snaked around you, his face coming close to your neck and ears.
“Why did you do it, I don’t get it…” He asked through tears.
“I hate the idea of you blowing me off for some fucking whore, Harry. I’m supposed to be your best friend.” You admitted. Harry sighed.
“I blew her off for you, you know? You wanna know fucking why I did that?” Harry asked.
“Why, Harry? Why would you do that for me? You’ve just seen just how fucked up I am…” You reply.
Harry didn’t respond for a few seconds. His hand was pushing the sheet close to your thigh, trying to stop the bleeding and the other was around your waist, holding you up against his body. Gently, he nuzzled his head closer to yours and placed a kiss on the hair that had fallen over your left cheek.
"Because I fucking love you."
