**I unlocked my bae, Quiet, as a buddy on MGS and I am so happy! I've devoted most of my play time to leveling up our bond level to 100. Anyway! This has nothing to do with her, and CONTAINS FEELS. OH AND Snake, his real name is John. Just thought you should know..fun fact. I'm fucked up this story is sad...**
I'd lost all composure. I'm a fucking sniper, I'm supposed to be calm and collected all the time, I'm supposed to notice the damned curve of the earth and how fast the wind is blowing all the time, but now....
I was fucking bashing a rifle against a Russian soldier's face, repeatedly. He was as close to death as you could get without being there. So many broken bones you'd never put him back together.
"YOU. MOTHER. FUCKER." every word punctuated with another hit to the guy's face. Even after he stopped moving...and breathing....I just fucking continued. I went until my arms hurt and I couldn't scream anymore...
I dropped to the ground in a fit of tears, over the body of my soldier. Not the dirty useless fucker than did this. I refused to believe it was true....I refused to believe I'd never hear his voice again, never get to randomly run my fingers through his hair, that he almost always had to tie up due to situations. I'd never get to curl up in his arms and feel his random kisses again, I wouldn't hear the pet names, the praise...none of it. None of it ever again. I'd already pulled out the small pistol I'd kept strapped to my belt, firing endless rounds into the Russian soldier's face, continuing to cry. I'd run out of bullets in all my guns by now, just leaning over and choking on my own breath, I was still on my knees, holding the greatest person on earth to my chest, running a hand through his hair and feeling so fucking broken...then..
I sat up quickly with a half scream, tears had clearly been running down my face and they kept coming. I felt arms around my waist quickly tightening. John sat up and pulled me against him, sitting in his lap on the bed. I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck, still crying my eyes out.
"Shhhh....it's ok...you're ok..." he kissed my cheek and brushed my hair out of my face, rubbing a hand up and down my back. I took shaky breaths and tried to stop crying, John looked at me with an incredibly worried expression, these kind of nightmares have happened more frequently, no one knows why. Possibly due to the fact that I hold onto things that i shouldn't.... "I-it..it was...y-you...this t-time..." he kissed my forehead and held me to him. "I'm fine...it's ok...none of its real...I'm perfectly fine..." I kept my head pressed against his chest as he stroked my hair. Even if it wasn't real...it still hurt..
