Star Wars Rebels: When Hope Is Lost

Chapter 21: Uncertain and Unbroken

What were you thinking?

Ezra banged his head into the wall again. Vader is on the right side, he's the good guy.... How stupid are you, Ezra?

He had been fooled. Tricked. Deceived. And because he had been so gullible as to believe Darth Vader's lies, Dev had been turned to the dark side. Maybe he had never believed Vader fully, but he had been under enough of the Sith's influence to be swayed enough to cause damage.

All his fault.

He had sworn that Dev wouldn't suffer because of him; instead, the opposite had happened. He should never have gotten into this mess, and he should never have believed Vader.

Kanan was right.

It wasn't Darth Vader who could train Ezra, care for Ezra, love Ezra. It wasn't his own father either. Not anymore. Ezra knew that he didn't belong with the Imperials. He wasn't sure he belonged with the rebels either anymore, but his home wasn't here.

And certainly not in the cell he had been placed back into. Even though there were blankets and a real bed this time, Ezra knew it was all fake. Vader was trying to soften him with fake security, fake homeyness. Well, that wouldn't work. Nothing would work on Ezra anymore. He refused to be tricked again. He would be resilient, unbent, unbroken. After all, the Sith had taken everything and everyone from Ezra already.

He longer had anything–or anyone–left to lose, besides himself.

Ezra sighed and leaned back against the cell wall. He was exhausted.... The past few months had really shaken him. It was a tough time.

The worst part? He no longer had anyone to stick by him and help him out of his mess.

Ezra?

Maybe he did have someone left. Maybe someone could help him....

No, Darth Vader was playing tricks on him. It couldn't be....

Ezra? Ezra, can you hear me?

"Kanan?" Ezra said aloud.

Ezra! I'm so glad I got through to you! I didn't know if it would work! There was obvious relief in the older Jedi's voice.

"How are you–" Ezra began.

When two Force-users have a strong bond, they can sometimes communicate mentally. I figured it was worth a shot.

"But we don't–" Ezra stopped.

Yeah we do, kiddo. I know you feel it too.

"But I.... I left you. I left you all." Even though you were always there for me, Ezra wanted to say. He felt a storm of emotion threaten to overwhelm him. Anger and pain.... But also sadness. And a small bit of longing.

That's not enough to shatter a bond. Especially one as strong as ours. To shatter a bond, you have to leave the other person in a certain way, not just by physically leaving. And you didn't do that, thankfully.

"Ok.... why are you talking to me? I thought I told you, I'm not coming back." Ezra felt a pang in his heart as he said this. The sense of longing grew.