Hold Me (Urban)

Chapter Fourteen

If you read part One, Two, and Three this is that all in one.

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Calvin



She went over to her phone and unlocked it then she gave it to me. I look at it and start swiping.

How the fuck did she get this shit?



"Who sent you this Zara?" She didn't take them by herself so were did they come from?

"Some random number sent it to me but that's beside the point. I'm tired so just leave so I can go to bed." Did she just say leave?

"Z baby I got caught up at the- "She put her hands up signaling that she has heard enough.

"Calvin it's good. It's not like we together. You a single man and I'm a single woman we can do as we please without-"I had to cut her ass off, She aint a single woman.

"No Zara you are not a single woman and I'm not a single man we are in SOME TYPE of relationship"

"Well you really now how a man in a relationship acts." She said sarcastically. I'm ending all of this shit right now.

"Zara do you wanna be in a relationship with me?" I asked getting straight to the point.

"Calvin do you wanna be in a relationship with me?" why was she acting goofy smiling n shit?

"Answer the question Zara, acting like a little kid n shit."



Her face got serious.



"Look Calvin I'm not gone sit here and tell you that what you did wit this girl didn't hurt my feelings or my self-esteem a little because it did, because you telling me I'm beautiful, kissing on me, and holding me and the go and do the same shit to some other girl at a club. If we go for a REAL relationship we need to spend time together and get to know each other on a more personal level. I'm letting you know I'm not no drive by relationship haver and if we doing this it's for the long hall. I will treat you right and vise versa.

I trust you until you give me a reason not to. Calvin I've been through it with Jerold with the women calling and texting dropping by my house and I'm done with that type of shit.

Don't string me along if you're a grimy ass nigga Cal. I've had to deal with heart ache and I'm not up for it again."



"Zara baby I'm not a grimy ass dude if you was my woman I'd treat chu right. No lies, no secrets, and no disrespect. I really want you to be mines. I feel like we complement each other and I wanna take this some where."



"OK Calvin I trust you to not hurt me. But first we gotta go on a few dates first."

"Aiight baby girl, now let's got to sleep now a nigga is too tired."



We went to the bed and she snuggled next to me and I buried m head in the crook of her neck and drifted off to sleep





Zara



So I guess I'm trying this "Relationship" with Calvin. I like him but I'm not trynna get hurt. When I saw those pictures it brought memories of when Jerold and I were in college. He would cheat, get caught, apologize and promise it would not happen, then I would take him back only for it to happen again.

He really broke my heart. I might not show much emotion on the outside but inside my head and heart I was a mess.



I turned my head to see Calvin sleeping with his mouth open. He was so cute.

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I came back he was on the phone with someone.

"I know Tash, If the baby is mine I will step up to the plate but if its not we don't have no communication at all."

".........."

"Because I gotta girl now and I want her to be with me a long time. I don't need you in my like trynna fuck shit up."

"............."

"Don't make me hurt your fucking feelings. That's why I don't want yo hoe ass now." Then he hung up the phone in her face.



He looked really mad and I didn't want him to snap on me so I just stayed where I was.

"Zara come here baby" oh shit I know I didn't do shit so why was I nervous? I walked over to him, standing right in front of him between his legs.

He didn't say anything he just hugged me with his head at the top of my stomach. He was just breathing in and out in and out almost like he was smelling me.

"Calvin baby what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing now"



When he said that my heart tugged a little. It was as if he was saying that all the trouble he will deal with and has ever dealt with was gone when he was holding me.



I played with his afro a little. Then he pulled me to his lap. I got off immediately. I got off because of what one of my previous boyfriends told me.

********

One day I was at his house and we were watching a movie. We were snuggled up under the covers. We started to kiss and I straddled his lap.

"Damn Zara get up you heavy as hell." I wanted to fuck him up but I was too embarrassed to do anything. I just got off and told him I had to leave.

********

Yea yall that fucked up shit actually happened to me. Shit on the outside I may look REALLY confident but on the inside I was insecure about my weight just like any thick woman. I just carried myself well.



"Z what's wrong. Are you still mad at me?" YES a little but I wasn't gone tell his ass that.

"Naw I'm OK" he pulled me on his lap again and I got off.

"Zara what's up fo'real?"

"Nothing, I know I'm kinda heavy so I don't want to hurt you." He looked at me with confusion.

"What chu mean Z. You trynna say I need to hit the gym some more?" he said touching his arms and looking offended. Shidd that's not what I was saying at all, Calvin was CUT nice err thang.

"NawCal. You know I'm not the smallest woman in the world and-" He stopped me mid sentence when he picked me up off the bed. He picked me up by my ass and I wrapped my legs around his waist then walked me over to the wall.

When I felt his dick rub up against my lower lips all that "I'm too heavy" shit flew away like a bird.

"I want you to know compared to me you short and small as shit. You feel the way I'm holding you, you light as hell, feel CJ rubbing up against you, because you sexy as fuck. It don't matter if any other nigga can handle you because I can and I will And if I hear you say some shit like that to me again imma fuck you so hard you gone forget yo middle name. Am I understood?"



For some reason I couldn't talk. I tried but the words just wouldn't come out. I wanted to tell him that I understood but NOTHING came out. I couldn't even nod my head. I couldn't fucking believe this shit. A bitch was real stuck.



He just lead me to the bed and...............