Love And Sarcasm [Currently Editing]

14. | douche

justin | audrey | ezra | seth

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6:33 pm

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"Hey, Justin?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is there so much noise on your line?"

"Oh, it's just the guys hanging out at my house"

"Oh...so you're busy?"

"Well yeah...but not really. I excused myself to talk to you."

"Why would you do that? I'm actually taking up your guy hanging out time aren't I?"

"Not really... we weren't doing much anyway. Just watching football and talking about girls"

"Girls?"

"Yeah..."

"Oh? So what girl were you talking about?"

"Some random girl I shagged at a party."

"Some random girl you shagged at a party? How charming of you manwhore."

"I try to be, milady"

"I was being sarcastic. That was totally disgusting of you."

"And I tried to ignore the sarcasm."

"Or more like didn't even know I was being sarcastic."

"I knew you were being sarcastic, I just chose to ignore your comment."

"Aw, don't worry Justin, sarcasm isn't for the fainthearted or the dimwitted."

"Hey! I'll have you know that I'm not dimwitted, did you know that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit?"

"That's what people who aren't smart enough to think up of a comeback say."

"...Touche sweetheart touche"

"Yeah, and you're one of--"

"Dude, finish up with that call would you? Seth wants us to play truth or dare."

"I'm on the phone dude, have some respect."

"I would have respect if you were talking to your mom, but based on that fucking dopey smile on your face, it isn't your mom."

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"What? You know I'm right."

"I'm talking to my friend bro, do you have a problem with me talking to one of my friends over the phone?"

"You were with us before you were with your 'friend',  we are also your friends Justin, or did you forget that you have more than one 'friend'?  Why don't you just drop the phone and hang out with us, people you've actually met and not some fucking random chick that you don't know, that could be actually catfishing you and pretending to be a sixteen-year-old girl when she is instead an--"

"--Shut the fuck up Ezra."

"Ezra dude-- That was--that was out of line."

"I speak nothing but the truth."

"Dude no stop talking. Look Justin, it's all good man, get back to your phone call and we can play once you are done."

"It is not fine Seth! All Justin does is talk, talk and talk on that stupid phone with that stupid chick and never has time to hang out with us anymore"

"Bro you have to stop talking--"

"Get the fuck out."

"What?"

"You heard me, get the fuck out."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"Wha-- You know what? Fuck this."

[The door slams shut as Ezra walks out of it.]

"--Justin don't worry he will turn around soon."

"It's times like these that make me wonder why I'm best friends with that douche."

"He can be a douche sometimes."

"I know"

"I'll go after our douche of a friend, you get back to your call. I'm sure your lady has been waiting for quite a while."

"Right. Hey sweetheart? I'm sorry you had to hear that"

"..."

"Audrey?"

"..."

"Well fuck, I'm screwed."

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