Love And Sarcasm [Currently Editing]

3. | drunk calls

justin | audrey

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10:56 pm
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~Incoming call - Guy I'm About To Prank Call~

ʚ answer | decline ɞ

【answer】

•••

"I'm beginning to think that you have some kind of obsess--"

"---Hehe..H-hey annoying str-- *𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒑* stranger."

"Are you drunk dialling me right now?"

"WHAT? NO! I'M VERY SOBER!"

"Okay no need to scream in my ear geez, I'm too young to get a hearing aid."

"T-that is j-just so so so FUNNY!"

"And you're so so so drunk"

"No I-I'm n-not! I'm as sober as my grandfather's whiskey s-stash! HAHA! I'm so funny damn, I should become a freaking comedian!"

"You are definitely as wasted as they come."

"Humph! S-so what if I am, why do you care?"

"I don't, I was stating a plain ole fact"

"Oh? Well I can state my facts too"

"Super, but I wasn't asking for your life story"

"You want m-my life *hiccup* story? I'll tell you one. My name is J--"

"--I said I wasn't...no wait carry on"

"What?"

"Never mind, carry on, I could use this for future blackmail"

"I-I don't know what blackmail means. I-is that even a word?"

"Are you... Are you sniffling?"

"N-no, I'm not. You're just confusing me with y-your made up words. *𝒔𝒏𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒔*"

"Oh this is lengendary! I wish I was there to see you like this in person."

"I know what lengendary is! Are you talking about Legendary Mokepon?"

"What?"

"Legendary mokepon, y-you know like the anime that has p-pikachu."

"You mean Legendary Pokemon?"

"That's what I said!"

[Audrey bursts out laughing]

"This is Gold! You didn't say that."

"Yes I did!"

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did. Stop arguing w-with me!"

"Fine. Then tell me your life story."

"Okay! My n-name is Justin and I'm 67 years old...HAHAHAHA. I'm kidding I j-just turned eighteen four days ago. I have a pet dog called F-fluffy, who is the best pooch ever!  I love football and t-taking bubble baths with my manly shadow night bath bomb, my biggest pet peeve is the color yellow and icky toe nails and-- HEY ASSHOLE THAT'S MY BEER YOUR DRINKING! G-GET YOUR FUCKING OW--"

*Dial tone*

"Blackmail is going to be so sweet...."

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ɴᴇᴡ ᴇᴅɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ

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