♥Chapter 50: 'The right kind of love is that love that lets go'♥

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Click on the External link to see a picture of the dress Poppy wears :D

Also click on the song on the side when Poppy starts singing :D

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I threw the basketball up in the air and caught the orange ball when gravity decided to push it down. I repeated my actions a few more times until I got bored. I was lying on my bed, basketball on my chest in my red and white horizontally striped tank top and my red tracksuit bottoms. I glared at the ceiling and sighed before throwing the ball through the hoop that was attached to the door.

Conor still wasn't talking to me. Edward wasn't talking to me ever since he kissed me. Actually he booked himself a ticket to St Lucia, an island in the Caribbean for the summer holidays.

I guess I was going to spend my summer worrying and probably crying over a guy; again.

"Marcus, I hope you can hear me. Please help me," I cried silently looking at the golden frame near the window with a picture of Marcus and me on our 4 year anniversary.

The single shoulder strap was styled in white corsage detail with a black satin bust that had a sweetheart neck line. The bottom half of the dress was a pearly white which was gathered at the waist band to create soft pleats. He was in a black suit, a white shirt, and a black skinny tie. In his chest pocket there were white poppies. He liked giving me white poppies because they reminded him of me. My name was Poppy and also he loved the colour white and white meant pure and innocent, like me.

My eyes landed on the old book near the window.

I looked at my guitar, then the secret passage way to the attic. I grabbed my guitar, some lyric sheets, a pencil, my phone and a guitar pick. I shoved my phone, the pencil, and guitar pick in my short pockets and placed the strap around my torso. I moved everything aside and crawled down, entering the secret passage. As the years went past, it was getting harder to go through. Finally I crawled through and entered the attic. Everytime I came here, the notice board was the first thing I saw. There was a picture of Marcus and I drunk. It was our first time and we ran around London singing out of tune and knock into everything until our parents found us and grounded us for months. I grinned at the memory.

My eyes landed on another picture. It was of Conor after his first match. He was swearing like crazy, visible sweat stains on his shirt. That was probably the worse picture ever taken of Conor and Conor kept on urging us not to put it online and on the notice board. Eventually he got over it.

I wiped another tear away. I scolded to no one. Sighing I walked towards the entrance of the roof. I climbed up and did what I usually did when I was depressed; I started strumming random chords.

Suddenly I remembered the song 'Love That Let's Go' By Miley Cyrus featuring Billy Ray Cyrus. I strummed the chords and started singing.

'There's a gold frame,
That sits by the window.
And my heart breaks,
A little more each time I try,
To picture the memory inside.' I could never look at the picture near the window without remembering Marcus. Dad thought I should insert another picture but I stopped him and reluctantly he agreed.

I started singing Billy Ray Cyrus' part:
'There's a old book,
It's too hard to read it
But if you look,
You'd see how you look through my eyes,
But now one more chapter's gone by,
And I know...' Everyday was a different chapter in my life. So far the last few chapters were filled with misery and I didn't want the next chapters to continue like this.

'It's time to move on;
Even though I'm not ready' I wasn't ready to move on, but it was time. I had to move on, Marcus would've wanted me to. Heck, everyone wanted me to move on!

'I've got to be strong,
And trust where you're heading.' I had to be strong, not only for me, for Marcus, for everyone who loved me. I knew I was killing everyone silently and I couldn't do this to everyone. Whenever I kissed Conor, I would feel guilty but I always pushed it away. I felt guilty that I was with Conor when it should've been Marcus.

'Even though It's not easy,
Right now the right kind of love...
Is the love that let's go, go' It wasn't going to be easy, but I had to let go. I didn't want to.

'There's an old dance that we've done forever
you give me your hand, but let me decide when to reach' Ever since Marcus and I were little we'd always dance around to all his famous 17and 18th century composers. Even though I was horrible at dancing and didn't dance at all, I always danced with Marcus. Normally when we were bored and finished our homework we'd either make out or do ballroom dancing.

'You always let me be me
But now's my time to take chances
And find my own wings
And whatever happens
I know you'll be there waiting for me' I could always be myself around him and I was around him all the time. Ever since Marcus died, I hated change. But it was time to make more changes in my life, little changes that had a huge impact on my life.

'It's time to move on, even though I'm not ready
I've got to be strong, and trust where I'm heading
And even though it's not easy, (it's not easy)
I know the right kind of love.' Ihad to do this, no matter what.

'Doesn't wanna miss the future,
Or stand in the past.
It will always hold on;
But never hold you back.
And even though It's not easy (not easy),
Right now the right kind of love
Is love that let's go.
It's time I let you
with a love that let's
Go' I strummed the last chord and I realized I was crying . . . again. I scowled to no one in particular as I furiously wiped away the unnecessary tears. I looked over at Conor's window which was closed. Ever since I left the hospital he had closed it. Most nights we'd talk whilst looking at each other through the window.

I sighed as I carried on strumming and watched the sun set, making the sky a lovely mixture of beautiful colours. The sunset made me feel relaxed. However I knew I could never relax properly if I didn't get all the drama out of my life.

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Conor's P.O.V.

"Conor, when are you going to talk to Poppy?" Diana shrieked at me.

I just sat on my bed staring at the red head.

"Look, you have to let her explain!”

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