Chapter 19

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Marcel's POV

I drove away from Addy's house with a smile on my face. I knew that I left her confused, but I want her that way. I don't want to be predictable, I want her to be surprised with everything I did. If I had a choice, I wouldn't have chosen a Thursday, but that's what Louis told me to do. So I can witness her reaction about the date in public; see if she's comfortable around me.

By the time I reached my

house it was 11:45 and I was certain that my family was asleep as I closed the front door.

"Gemma? What are you doing?" I whispered while tip toeing up the stairs looking at my tired sister at the top.

"How'd it go?" She asked anxiously.

"Erm...she said she had fun."

"You asked her?"

"Yeah. Was I not supposed to?" She sighed and I knew she was shaking her head in the darkness.

"No it's fine. But Marcel..... Are you sure about this?" Her voice changed to a softer tone in a matter of seconds.

"About what?"

"Getting in a relationship."

"Yeah, why would it be a bad idea?" I opened the door to my room as it creaked quietly and Gemma shuffled in behind me. I could hear the ticking of the clock in the hallway and nothing else. A sign that my parents were asleep in their rooms, leaving only me and Gemma. "Marcel you are getting a CT scan Sunday! If they find something bad what will you tell her." Deep down I know she would bring that up, but I was hoping that she wouldn't. She knows how I feel about my disease and how I feel about Addy. She is my first girlfriend, and she could be my last.

"How could things get any worse? I'm probably already dying!" My blood started to boil as I was yelling in a whisper to her.

"You know that's not what I meant." She said quietly trying to calm me down.

"Everything will be fine! They'll say that I still have cancer! That I only have a few months to live! And then we can all come home and cry about it! But right now, I'm happy so leave it alone!" Her eyes were getting glossy and that words I just whispered violently at her. I know I shouldn't have snapped at her like that, but I'm sick of this. I'm sick of this stupid cancer. I'm sick of my family treating me like I'm ten. I can take care of myself. "I'm sorry you feel that way. We're just looking out for you," she whispered. I didn't realize I said the words aloud, but it made me angrier than I already was.

"Well stop it! I can...I can take care of myself. You guys can't stop what already happened. I took all the medication I possibly could take and look at me. Look at me!" I could feel my voice getting shaky as my own words hit me in the face. Making me realize that this really was it.

"Oh Marcel." Gemma was crying and wiping her nose, I'm guessing my words slapped her too. She pulled me in her arms and gave me a tight hug.

"I'm dying," I whispered into her hair, finishing my sentence. "Dying" I confirmed.

"No you're not. You're not dying Marcel. I won't let it happen." I pushed her away gently at my arms' length.

"Well it's gonna happen." I told her, maybe a little too harsh.

"But I'm your big sister. I need to protect you. Like when I did when we were younger. Remember when you were convinced there were monsters in your closet, so you made me go in and fight them with a plastic sword." She stifled a laugh and I joined her. "I'm here for you. You know?" She paused probably waiting for a response, but I didn't give her one. "So I would really appreciate if you talked to me sometime. Tell me how you feel..." she trailed, looking away from me.

"I'm scared." I told her, my voice barely audible. Not even sounding like my own anymore. She put her hand on my shoulder to comfort me. "Of?"

"Everything," I admitted. "People hate me at school. I'm d-dying. Louis...well, he wi- will be devastated that I didn't tell him. Wh-what about Addy?" I could barely speak because I was crying so hard. Gemma sighed and pulled me into her once again. Letting me cry on her shoulder as she cried on mine. "Forget all that. You'll be fine. Cancer won't beat you." She said confidently.

I only told her that I wasn't dying so she would believe that I'm stronger, when I'm not. I was trying to convince myself. I didn't just want to be the wimpy nerd Marcel, her little brother. The disgrace to the Stewart family. An outcast. A loser. A nobody. But what I'm worried about most is being a nobody, then being recognized as somebody when I'm gone.

"Enough with all this sad stuff." She broke our embrace and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Where did you take her?" She asked in a cheery tone. I laughed at my childish sister as she was practically jumping on the bed. "I'm serious! Give me all the details." After I finished my laughing fit I finally told her everything that happened at the date, 'accidentally' skipping over the kiss at Addy's house.

(A/N sorry, if it's sad. And I know I do this a lot, but I want to thank ya'll again. I almost have 2,000 reads and that'a amazing. Some people may think that's very little, but the fact that almost 2,000 people stopped scrolling and took the time to read my story is unbelievable. I was only expecting like 50 reads! Lol. So THANKS AGAIN, ALL OF YOU <3 )

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