Chapter 11

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I involuntarily frowned trying to figure out when I said something. Made a mental note to myself to watch what I say, I hate seeing Marcel hurt and offended, which he gets easily. I do have a big mouth.

"Marcel, I didn't mean it like that." I said sincerely. I took his hand in mine, but he didn't react to it, he didn't even flinch.

"Then how did you mean it?" He asked, keeping his head down so he wouldn't have to look at me.

"I, I just wanted them to shut up about it. You were there. Of course I was going to kiss you, we were so close. I just feel like I didn't have a choice."

"Didn't have a choice?" He asked huskily. His voice was deeper and I feel like I could hear him growling. He pulled his hand away from mine quickly and looked up at me. Something changed within him. Like he had transformed into an alter ego. His radiant green eyes were now cloudy and dark, they looked almost black in the poor lighting.

"Didn't have a choice to say that?" He questioned. I nodded once, afraid of what he was trying to say. "Or didn't have a choice to kiss me?" I shook my head, not being able to find my voice. "Please, don't feel like you have no choice. I don't want to be a project or some act for you, I don't want to waste your time." He slouched in his seat and looked out the window. Although, I could see his face in the reflection. "Do you even want to be with me?" Did I?

Of course I like him, but as friends right now. I think. I do feel like the attraction is forced and fake, but real at the same time. I couldn't even understand my emotions enough to be as to tell him.

"Marcel, I-I just..." I couldn't say anything. It was like a great of was sitting on my tongue. Or someone was controlling it. What I wanted to say I couldn't. "Would you please look at me?" He huffed, but turned his head slowly to meet mine. "I'm sorry, that we've been interrupted both times we were going to kiss. I'm sorry if you feel like your not worth it, but you are, you need to trust me?"

"Can't you see that I trust you? I told you everything. Everything! I just feel like you don't even care. I've only gotten this close to one other person and that's Louis. Everyone else leaves me, they don't care. I thought you were different. And now you don't care!" He rose his voice. This was the first time I've ever seen him angry and loud.

"I told you how I really felt didn't I?"

"That's not enough!" he shouted.

"Then what is enough?" I shouted back, Getting frustrated with this argument.

"I want you to have faith in whatever we have. I want you to be able to choose. I want you to want me" His voice was back to normal and he relaxed his strained figure. I ran a hand through my hair out of frustration still trying to understand. Was I this emotionless? Like a robot going around and messing with what pleased me? Tearing people apart at the seams? That couldn't be me, and if it was, I'm going to change that. Starting with Marcel.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, not even recognizing my own broken voice. I caressed his cheek and pulled him closer to me. "I'll never understand how you felt, but please let me try to understand you. You confuse me Marcel. In a good way, I think" he chuckled swiftly showing his dimples. "And your dimples." His smile grew. "They kill me." He laughed and it was hard for me not to join. "People think I've changed you, but you've changed me." His smile softened, making his dimples less prominent in his cheeks. "So, so please just let me do this." His smile dropped as his eyebrows raised, in either shock or confusion.

I felt myself being pulled closer to him, like gravity, I couldn't control it. Marcel sat there frozen, watching me inch my way closer to him. My hand was still caressing his cheek as I raised my other to rest on his shoulder. I automatically closed my eyes waiting for the intersecting of our lips. As my lips touched his, I heard him take a sharp intake of breath preparing for what was to come. I was hesitant about the movement of my lips because Marcel wasn't responding. His lips twitched, but he didn't kiss back. So I tried kissing him more forcefully. I pulled his body closer to mine and moved my lips against his desperately. He started kissing me back, while slowly snaking his hands on my waist to hold them with his large hands. I pulled away breathless and impressed. I smile found its way to my face as I looked at Marcel who had that quizzical half smile, showing his right dimple.

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