Struggles of a Fangirl

Struggle #17

Damnnnn Prince was blunt af

Lol y'all doin Kacey dirty

Hahaha the struggle for @CallMeKacey_MB is so real

@CallMeKacey_MB at least you still get to hang with Prince and be friends

Lmfao talk about a blow to her self esteem

If I was Kacey I would have whooped Princeton's ass

Damn Prince, you didnt have to say it like that.


These are just some of the tweets on my timeline. I've been getting plenty of direct messages and tweets sent towards me but I stopped reading them a long time ago.

No one understand how hard it was for me to keep a straight face during that interview. I refused to even glance at Princeton because the camera was pointed right in my face. I was able to play off my hurt feelings with a nonchalant shrug in order to save myself any embarrassment. But everyone who knows me well, knows that I'm completely crushed.

There's already gifs of the interview on Tumblr, some of the comments are mean while others are fully of pity on my behalf. Between the girls and Mb, no one has mentioned the interview so far, not even London. I just know she's dying to tease me but she's probably saving it for a moment of my intense weakness.

To avoid thinking about yesterday's interview, I occupy myself with packing up all my belongings, preparing for the first night of touring. The first concert is right here in California, then right after the show we're boarding the buses and heading over to Kansas City. I'm really excited to see the different parts of the US with MB and my new friends. It will be a fun experience to tell my kids and grandchildren one day.

I zip up my last suitcase and pick up the piece of paper that I've written my check list on. In scan through the list of my belongings to make sure I have everything before tucking it away in my suitcase pocket and dragging my suitcases to the living room along with the rest of the girls.

Keisha stands up from the couch where she was watching the news and looks at each of us. "Everyone packed up and ready to go?" She asks. We all nod and she opens the door. "Alright then, lets head down to the lobby and wait for Walter and Kenneth to return with the tour buses."

We follow Keisha out of the hotel room and towards the elevator. The two minute ride down to the lobby was silent...maybe because its 7:30 in the morning and we're barely conscious yet. We're only up this early because the boys are going to have an early rehearsal in the dance studio, then a sound check and another rehearsal on the stage. I can already tell its going to be a hectic day.

The lobby is deserted with just the bellhop and concierge at their stations. We join the boys on the couches, struggling to keep our eyes open. They don't look as tired as we do though, probably because they're used to this early bird lifestyle by now. Aside from the intense silence in the air, heavy tenseness also lingers around us.

There's no doubt that it has to do with yesterday's interview. I keep my eyes low, pretending that I'm just tired and lay my head down on my arms. I don't want any pity stares from anyone. It's not like I'm mad at Princeton or anything, because I'm not. I mean, who am I to judge him for speaking his mind and how he really feels?

Two honks outside let us known that the tour buses are here. We gather all our belongings and follow Keisha outside where Walter is standing in front of two huge shiny black buses. "Welcome to your new homes for the next two months ladies and gents." He says, spreading his arms for special effect. "Ladies, your bus is the second one. It will be easier to tell which one is which after we get them detailed."

"Damn we still don't get to share buses?" Ray says, sporting a frown on his lips.

"Not with your hormones." Walter says, eyeing Ray. We all laugh and Walter motions towards us, "Come on girls, I'll give you a quick tour of the bus."

We follow Walter over to the second bus. He unlocks the door and we climb inside to be greeted by our new driver Miguel. "Welcome ladies, I hope this bus suits your preferences." He tell us.

"Are you kidding? This place is nicer than my own house." I exclaim, taking in the tan leather couches on either side of the walls and the beige colored rug. There's a tv on a wall right behind the drivers seat and tiny table in the corner. Walter leads us down a narrow hallway that has a tiny bathroom on the left side. Remind me not to take a poop in their, it's so small it probably doesn't have enough room for the smell to evaporate.

We move farther into the bus where the beds are located in a medium sized room with a burgundy colored rug and bunk beds. I immediately grab one of the top bunks with a window view. It's going to be so cool to lay here at night and watch the lights from the city pass by as I fall asleep.

"What do y'all think?" Walter asks us. "Did I do a good job?"

"This is going to be so fun. I've always wanted to take a road trip in a RV, this will be even better." Joya says from her spot on the bottom bunk across from me. Yannie is above her and Renee is under me. London is on top of the bunk along the back wall. She has her own secluded area which I'm pretty sure it what she wanted. It's not like any of us like her anyway.

She raises her hand like we're in school, "Where do we shower at?" She asks

"You don't." Walter says flat out. We all whip our heads to look at him like he's crazy. Not shower? What kind of BS is that? He burst out into a stomach clenching laugh. "Y'all should have seen your faces. We're gonna shower at the hotels, so don't worry about being funky in front of MB and Jacob."

We sigh and relief, "Well y'all can get comfortable, the drive to Stockton is 4 hours so you can catch up on your sleep. If you need me I'll be upfront." He tell us before leaving, closing the door behind him. While the girls settle into their beds and get comfortable, I pull out my phone and go onto Instagram until I get tired and fall back to sleep.

Prince has just posted a picture of the tour bus with caption: Time for Tour Life 👌

I smile a little at how excited he is for this tour, even though things are awkward between us right now I can't help but continue to love him. I'm in too deep to let a simple remark change the way I fell about him. At the end of the day, he's still my Princeton Charming.

I slept for the majority of the four hour ride to Stockton so by the time I woke up I was starving. We were able to grab a quick bite to eat in the hotel dining room before Keisha rushed us upstairs to take our showers and get dressed. We have to follow a busy schedule today and its only day 1 out of 62.

The first stop on our schedule was a 1 hour radio interview. Next we head to the dance studio so MB can perfect the final details of the dance routines. Afterwards we head to sound check where me and the girls get to listen to Prod sing live without the bass killing our ears. He sounds even more amazing without the background music, it surprises me how well his voice has matured. Not too long ago he was still squeaking along to the pre-recorded tracks with his cracking voice.

By the time 8:00 rolled around, I was excited to be able to witness the first show of the tour. It was our job to help dress the boys in their assigned outfits for the first part of the show, which was Renee's designs. While Latmore warms up the crowd, the dressing rooms are chaotic as everyone rushes around in a frenzy fixing last minute details.

After I make sure Roc's outfit looks perfect on him, I move on to Prince who's fixing up his curls in the mirror. When he spots me he turns around and gazes at me. Butterflies take of in my stomach and I swallow my nerves.

"Does your outfit fit well?" I ask him.

He blinks before looking down at his clothes like he forgot he was wearing them. "Yeah, yeah it fits fine. Renee did a good job." He says. He's wearing a black and green jersey with a sequined number 16 on it. His name is written on the back of it in black letters and it's paired with black cargo shorts. He looks like a cute little ball player.

"You look nice," I tell him.

He flashes a smile at me, "Thanks."

I nod before turning and walking away but not before he grabs my arm. I spin around to face him and this time he looks worried. "Everyone says I did you wrong during the interview yesterday and Prod said I hurt your feelings. Be honest Kacey, are you mad at me?"

I try to mask my sadness with a fake chuckle, "Princeton it's fine. I just---"

"I'm serious Kacey, if you're mad at me I'm sorry. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. If I had said what the interviewer wanted me to say then Team Mindless would rip your apart, just like they did Justice and Rachel. I was trying to save you because I don't want you to endure the harsh criticism from our fans. You know how cruel they can be sometimes. If they like you they like you, if they don't they'll make your life hell." He stares at me with genuine sincerity in his eyes. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings Kacey."

I smile at him, just hearing his apology instantly causes my sadness to disappear. Of course he was trying to protect me from TM, just like Ray did Star. This doesn't mean he likes me as a girlfriend or anything but at least he cares enough to keep the criticism away from me.

"It's ok Prince, I get it now. I'm not mad. Alright?" I ask him. A relieved smile spreads across his face and his shoulders relax.

"Prince come on! It's time!" Roc calls to him as they head out the door.

Prince nods and looks at me, "Wish me luck?" He asks.

I smile widely, my braces probably blinding him. "Good luck Prince." He gives me dap before jogging out the dressing room after Roc.

Me and the girls follow them down the hall and towards the side of the stage. They wait for Myles for introduce them before individually going on stage. I watch from the side of curtain as Keep Her on the Low begins playing. We begin dancing to the music, laughing as Myles glances at us and shake his head with a smile.

Someone bumps into my shoulder roughly and I look to the left to see London glaring at me. "Just because Prince apologized to you doesn't mean he likes you." She says to me.

I roll my eyes, "what do you know London?"

"I know enough. If he liked you then he would have said so. Didn't you notice how he apologized but never said that he could see a future with you? He was just being nice Kacey, so don't get too happy just yet."

I turn away from London, my energy suddenly draining. It's true, Prince never did say he liked me. But that's not going to stop me from hoping he secretly does. London's salty mood isn't going to put ideas into my head. I'm so done with being embarrassed.

**
sorry for errors

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