I Need You So Much (Oliver Sykes Fan Fic)

I Am Just So Sick Of Going Home

Song: Looking Up by Paramore

Chelsea

When I got home, I was still pretty upset about what happened at school. I hated to think about what had happened last year. I had been so naive back then to actually think that guy had wanted to go out with me. I mean, look at me. I was definitely not a jock's type. Why the hell had I ever even thought I had a chance with him? To be honest, he wasn't my type either. I guess I was just so happy that someone might accept me that I had jumped on the chance. Looking back I should've just told him no. It would have saved me a lot of pain later, but no. Dumb me couldn't just accept the fact that I would never fit in with the 'cool' kids and move on with life. Why had I been so stupid? 

Suddenly, the glint off my razor blade caught my eye. I looked over longingly. Oliver and I had promised each other that we wouldn't cut again after we had had our little heart to heart in the restaurant that day and I was surely not going to break my promise. My relationship with Oliver meant way too much to me to risk it all over something some dumb jock had said, but I wanted to so bad. I knew that as soon as the blade hit my skin, I would feel so much better and that all the pain would go away. I reached over to pick it up and played with it in my hands for a bit. I held it unsurely over my wrist. No, I couldn't. I wouldn't break my promise to Oliver. I would feel terrible if he did especially if he found out. I stood up and walked over to my trash can and through the blade in feeling proud of myself. If it hadn't been for Oliver, I probably would be sitting here right now spitting my skin open and watching my own blood spill onto my sheets.

After finishing some homework, I curled up in bed with my iPod and put on some music. I spent most of the night feeling bad for myself. 

I woke up the next morning dreading school. I wanted to see Oliver, but not the rest of the school. I decided to stay home 'sick' so I wouldn't have to put up with everyone. It's like as soon as I was finally getting happy, the whole school wanted to crush me. I quickly sent Oliver a text saying that I wasn't feeling well and not to wait for me. He texted me back tell me to feel better and that he would miss me. I smiled at his text and put my phone down.

I waited until I heard my mum leave for work before heading downstairs for breakfast. I grabbed some cereal and orange juice and brought it into the living room. I watched MTV while I ate and then cleaned up my mess. I ended up listening to music all day and thinking about Oliver. There was no way to get him off my mind. I think I was falling for him.

Oliver

I was quite upset that Chelsea decided not to come to school. I doubted it was because she was actually sick. There was a large chance that she was still upset about yesterday and I really couldn't blame her. The morning went pretty fast and I soon found myself sitting by myself with my earbuds in at lunch. I was trying hard not to head bang as my favorite songs played.

Suddenly, a few people sat down across from me. It was Matt, the guy who had asked me about starting a band before, and a few other people I didn't know. I quickly pulled out my earbuds. "Hey," I greeted as they sat down.

"Hey, mate," Matt responded. "Oli, this is Lee, the other Matt, and Curtis," he introduced. I shot them all a smile and shoved my iPod in my pocket. "I was wondering if you were still interested in starting that band?" he questioned.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, obviously excited. Being in a band was my dream, so yes, I was way more than just interested in starting that band.

"Cool. Well, Lee and Curtis play guitar and Matt here plays bass, so we were going finally get it started," he told me. I felt myself smile happily. I felt like I was dreaming. Here he was telling me that I had a chance to live my dreams.

"Yeah, we were gonna ask you last week, but you were always sitting with that girl," Lee said with a little grin. I felt myself blush. I hadn't expected anyone to notice how much time I was spending with Chelsea.

"Is she your girlfriend?" the other Matt questioned, "because if she's not, I call dibs on her." I laughed and so did the other guys. "What? She's hot," he exclaimed as we laughed.

"Um, she's not really my girlfriend, but we..uh..." I trailed off not really sure what to call our relationship. We weren't 'official' but I liked her and I was pretty sure she liked me.

"But you want her to be?" the other Matt guessed. I nodded and he grinned at me. For some reason, I felt like we were already friends even though we had just met. I couldn't wait for Chelsea to meet them.

We spent the rest of lunch figuring out stuff about the band. We still didn't have a name, but we had decided on a genre and other important things. 

After school was done, I made my way over to Chelsea's house. Mr. Field had asked me to give Chelsea some homework along with the lesson and told me to help her if she needed it. I had happily agreed. It had only been one day since I had seen her and I already missed her. I ran to her house as fast as I could and knocked on the door. Her mother answered it unfortunately.

"Hello, ma'am. I'm in Chelsea's science class and our teacher asked me to drop off some work for since she was absent from class," I explained after her mother gave me her signature glare. I really didn't like her. I had never met someone so mean.

"She's upstairs in her room," she told me stepping aside to let me. I was half surprised that she let me go upstairs considering I had taken her daughter out on a date only two nights ago, but then again I doubted she cared about her daughter.

I thanked Chelsea's mother and quickly made my way to her room. I knocked on her closed door wanting to see her so badly.