You're a Snarky Little Shit (Frerard, Petekey)

Mikey's Crispy Remains

"Gerard? Can I come in?" Mrs. Way said, knocking on her son's door.

"Fine. It's open," Gerard scoffed.

"I don't know how to say this in a way that you won't get upset, but don't get mad at your father and me. Mikey's funeral is today."

"What the hell? When were you going to tell me?" Gerard said, rising from his bed.

"You were cooped up in your room for days, so we thought we may as well plan it! Look, we had him cremated and everything, and I picked up a suit for you to wear. It's all organized and ready, we've decided to not have a gathering afterwards or anything, and it's at the church right down the road. We've scheduled it for 2 this afternoon."

"That's only three hours away! How can you keep something like this a secret from me? I'm part of this family too, you know, and I should probably be kept in the loop. Do his friends know?"

"See, that's why we didn't tell you. His friends aren't invited," Mrs. Way said, looking down at her feet.

"Why? They were more involved in his life than you ever were, and twice as important to him!"

Gerard's mom stood up without a word, leaving her son's room. She turned back only to hang a suit on the doorknob.

~

It was a lovely spring day, not a cloud in the sky, sun shining brightly. Gerard was sweating under his two-sizes-too-big tuxedo as he milled about outside the church. 

The funeral was quite boring, as nobody Gerard knew was there. Distant relatives Gerard was sure Mikey hadn't met once had come to sob and say how sorry they were. He could see right through them all, through their tissues and sympathy flowers and mascara that ran down their cheeks in "sorrow." He knew it wasn't genuine; Gerard didn't even know how he was related to half of these people. He didn't even get to say a speech or even a few words, since he was given hours to prepare for this damned thing.

Of course his parents had lied about there not being a service afterwards, because there was a table of food set up in the church backyard. Gerard skipped the table altogether and head out of the neatly fenced backyard of the crappy little church. Walking down a small path, he came to face the monkey bars he knew so well, with a familiar shaped boy atop them.

"Frank?" Gerard called out, stepping closer. The figure on top of the bars turned.

"Gerard! Oh gosh, I was so fucking worried! You weren't picking up your phone or anything! I was planning on coming down with you and Jamia, but that little bitch flaked out."

"Oh, yeah, I had to turn my phone off," he said, climbing up the ladder and sitting next to Frank.

"What's with the snazzy suit?" 

"Um, I'm not supposed to tell you..."

"Are you getting fucking married? Is that why you avoided me. Damn, we just started dating, too," Frank said, smirking.

"No, actually, Mikey's funeral just ended."

Frank's smile faded; his entire mood seemed to shift.

"What the fuck?"

Gerard explained the whole story about the funeral, stressing that his parents said none of Mikey's friends (or his) could come. 

"The worst part about all of this is that Mikey won't get his ashes underneath Pete's tree. I guess my parents completely disregarded that."

"Wait. Who says that he won't?" Frank said, a glint in his eye.

"What?"

"How about we have a separate funeral, one exclusively for all of Mikey's friends. It could be in Pete's backyard, we can sprinkle the ashes, and it'll be great."