You're a Snarky Little Shit (Frerard, Petekey)

The Matchmaker of the Year Award

"Pete, are you going to do this every day?" Mikey asked, as Pete balanced his spoon on his nose. Pete looked up at the sound of his name, and his spoon fell to a clatter on the table.

"Well, let's see...am I impressing you?" Pete asked, grinning. 

"Hmm, an eighth grader doing a trick I mastered in third grade?"

"So, to answer your question, yes. I will do this every day, until I impress you with my amazing spoon balancing skills," Pete said, retrieving the spoon and trying to balance it again. Mikey rolled his eyes, but played along, grabbing his own spoon. They tried shoving each other to get it to fall, but they never succeeded.

"Fine, fuck this. Excuse me, which one of us has the spoon balanced better?" Pete asked a random girl walking past their table. She vaguely nodded to Pete, then went on her way.

"FUCK YES. Mikey fucking Way, are you impressed now?" Mikey shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess I am. If you can beat me, that's pretty impressive."  

Pete stood up, and did a weird dance, kind of like he had a squirrel in his pants, and it was trying to eat his dick off or something.

"I'm just going to pretend I didn't see that," Mikey said, unwrapping his applesauce, because yeah, he was a fucking 6 year old. And besides, applesauce is delicious. Don't judge.

"No, absorb the dance; I want you to remember the first day of many; days where I impress Mikey Way," Pete said, finally sitting down. Mikey was kind of doubting the whole "first of many" thing, but Pete was practically bursting with happiness, as far as Mikey could tell, so he wanted to give Pete his moment. 

"You realize all you did was balance a spoon on your nose," Mikey said, playfully shoving Pete, messing up his fringe.

"I'm going to ignore the fact that you just totally messed up my teenage emo aesthetic, Mikey. But only because the funny, adorable Mikey Way would not have Pete Wentz as a friend anymore," Pete said, adjusting his hair. Mikey raised his eyebrows.

"Adorable? More like, um, word-that-means-ugly-and-starts-with-a," Mikey said, trying (and failing) to find something to say back to his best friend that just called him adorable. Pete gave Mikey a stern look.

"Um??? Excuse me???  You're a fucking adorable Yorkie puppy, and don't you fucking forget it," Pete said as the bell rang. Pete shot Mikey sly eyes, then started running to the entrance to go back into the school. Mikey shrugged his shoulders, but followed after Pete, not even thinking about the boy who was still sitting at the lunch table.

~

The boy in question was fucking pissed as he walked into his class. And he was pissed when he sat down, and he was pissed when he realized he forgot to do his homework. He pushed up his glasses, and looked out the window. Why hadn't those two even acknowledged his existence? Did they not realize that he had 2 working lungs and voice box, or whatever the hell he talked with? Had they not noticed the way he looked at them, hoping they'd see the hope in his eyes, that maybe, just maybe, he'd like to talk about why some girl is a total bitch.

"Patrick? Patrick?!" his math teacher shouted, slamming a ruler on his desk.

"Holy sh-smokes!" Patrick said, not wanting to have to curse in front of the teacher. He heard a few giggles coming from the back of the room.

"Now, as I was saying, I'd like Patrick to come up to the board and illustrate the correct way to use the distributive property," Patrick's teacher said, handing him a whiteboard marker. He walked up, and shakily wrote out the fucking equation, not really caring whether his handwriting was legible or not.

"Very good," his teacher said, motioning for Patrick to sit down again.

Maybe the boy sitting across the table didn't know how much it hurt for him to call the other adorable.

~

Frank sat at the park, atop of the monkey bars, waiting for Jamia to come out of the nasty public bathroom, because Satan's Monthly Waterfall decided to come this week. So, when Frank heard the sound of shoes crunching in the dry mulch below, it was his first instinct to look and say hi. But the person he saw standing there was not Frank. It was, in fact, Gerard.

Gerard Way.

Gerard Way came to the park to see Frank fucking Iero, the small-ass emo.

"Hi, um, sorry to, intrude, or whatever, but I just wanted to say something. Holy fucking hell, you were sassy as fuck in class the other day," Gerard said, doing the fuckboy-rubbing-his-neck thing.

"I..I...Thanks," Frank spluttered, not really sure how to react.

"And, that means a lot coming from me. Because I'm the Sass Lord, and I don't give out compliments that easily. So yeah, have a good one," Gerard said, walking off.

"Y..you too!" Frank said, a little louder than socially acceptable.

"Oh. My. GOD. You two are totally gonna fuck later," said Jamia, who was standing behind the monkey bard, watching her gay ship blossom into one big canon party.

"What? Jamia, he just said I was sassy, then sashayed away or something," Frank said, his cheeks turning red.

Jamia rolled her eyes, but dropped the conversation. Soon enough, who other than Lindsey Ballato decided to strut over to the two, who yelled up at the two of them,

"What did Gerard say? I was trying to ask him out, but he ran away over here."

"Hmm, you know, maybe it's because he's not interested! Like I've been saying, since, like, forever!" Jamia said, jumping off of the monkey bars, with Frank falling clumsily after her.

"Give it up, Jamia. You just want him for yourself, don't you?" Lindsey asked, in a tone you'd use in second grade when you just find out who your best friend likes.

"Oh my god, NO. I have someone else in mind that I think would be cute with him," Jamia added, shooting a sly glance back at Frank, who started to blush. Lindsey's eyes widened.

"OOH, who?" she asked. Jamia shook her head.

"Leave that to Jamia, three time winner of the Matchmaker of the Year Award," she said, cracking her knuckles. Frank leaned over to Lindsey.

"What the fuck is the Matchmaker of the Year Award?"

"Beats me."

Hello pals yes another update. Yeah sorry it took so long but I haven't had a lot of time. Also tonight in pENNSYLVANIA (where your favorite emo meme lives) THERE WILL BE A LUNAR ECLIPSE WOW EXCITE. Idk what time it'll show up in other states but you know.

Votes and comments are appreciated yo 

Stay amazing n shit I love you all

~tato