no one has to know || muke

thirty nine

luke is sat directly next to michael in the field of grass, their bodies touching. michael forgot how beautiful it was here since the first time luke brought him here. in all honesty, he wasn't sure why luke insisted on bringing him here.

earlier in that day, the blonde called michael and told him that there was something they had to talk about. the younger boy was mad, to say the least, that luke hasn't answered any of his calls in the last week, and all of a sudden he calls and demands that they have to talk like gets to chose when they have a conversation or not.

after a long time of pleading and begging, michael agreed to meet with him. only because luke sounded very concerned about something and it was making michael a tad bit nervous.

they haven't shared a full sentence with each other yet. michael being mad and luke feeling like the worst person on earth right now. they shared a small 'hello' and that was that. they just sat in silence together as luke figures out just exactly how he was going to break the unbearable news to michael about how he has messed up completely. the blonde wasn't expecting to be forgiven. he wouldn't blame michael if he wanted to part their separate ways, but he didn't want it to come to that. he didn't want to lose michael. the thought of the young boy vanishing from his life made his sick to his stomach.

"i'm so sorry that i've been a bit distant for the past week," luke begins, licking over his chapped lips, "it's not right of me to do that to you."

"distant? you think you have been distant?" michael huffs, "you haven't answered any of my calls. you haven't been at your job, you have been ignoring me and i have no idea why!" michael exclaims, very frustrated.

luke took a deep breath, trying to collect himself, "that's why i brought you here, to explain why i've been like that."

"start explaining then," mike pushes, wanting to hear what possible explanation luke had.

luke swallows hard. if he thought anything else was ever more painful than this, he was wrong. this hurt his heart, his muscles, everything. he could feel his hands shake and tears start to brim his eyes. he was so incredibly selfish and he wanted to go back to erase that night with ashton, but he knew that could never happen and it would always haunt him.

"i just—" luke chokes up, tilting his head back to stop the tears from rolling down his rosy cheeks, "i just don't want you to hate me."

michael's eyebrows furrow together. he was becoming more and more nervous at what luke wanted to say, "i could never hate you," he says, his voice sincere.

luke looked at the boy. he was so beautiful, so pure. the sun was shining towards his face, causing his emerald eyes to stand out even more. his lips were set in a thin, straight line. his lips were cherry red and all luke wanted to do was kiss them. michael didn't deserve this. he screwed up and now he was going to have to pay for it.

luke cleared his throat, "i did something terrible, mike," he couldn't cry. between the two of them, he shouldn't be the one who cried. it was his fault, "i did something terrible with someone else."

michael could feel his heart pounding against his chest like you wouldn't believe. he doesn't want to believe the worst at what luke is about to say, but he has a feeling it's not good. his lips part as he asks, "what do you mean?"

"i slept with someone else," the words shot out of luke's mouth so fast it he wasn't even sure if he said what he wanted to. he looked down at the ground, horrified to see the look on michael's face.

michael wasn't sure how to describe how those words made him feel. it was almost like the world around him came crashing down and everything fell on top of him. he couldn't breathe, he couldn't move. he was nauseous. thinking of luke touching another man the way luke touched him. thinking of luke bringing someone else pleasure. michael felt used and unwanted all so suddenly.

michael opens his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. he was choked up, a lump in his throat that prevented him from speaking. he didn't know whether to cry or scream. there were so many emotions waving over him.

"please say something, mikey," luke reaches out to put his hand over top of michael's, but he pulls away . a tear ran down the younger boy's cheek. he quickly gets rid of it with his hand.

"when—" michael's voice breaks when he tries to speak. he clears his throat and tries again, "when did it happen?"

"a little over a week ago," luke replies.

michael's head tilts back. he's trying so hard not to cry. his heart is shattering more and more the longer he sits here. he thinks this might be some kind of cruel joke. he was praying it was just something like that, but he knew it was too good to be true.

"i thought you loved me," michael choked out. he can't comprehend why luke would do something like this. tall, dorky, kind hearted luke.

"i do love you. i love you so much it consumes me, mike. please don't ever think i don't love you."

the younger boy shook his head, "you don't do something like that to someone you love."

luke could feel wet droplets rolling down his cheeks. he couldn't think of a single thing to say. was he that shitty of a person that he couldn't even come up with words to say to his boyfriend that he cheated on? he wanted to rewind time and go back to when everything was okay.

"why did you do it?" michael isn't sure he wants to know the the answer, but he had to ask. was michael not enough for the older man? did luke realize he wanted someone else? someone his own age who he could be happier with? michael felt like he was going insane.

luke ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on the ends, "i don't know. there's no reasonable explanation of why i would do that to you. you don't deserve this."

"you're right," michael stands up, "i don't deserve this. i don't deserve to be with a shitty person," he snaps before stomping away, luke quickly following after him of course.

"please just talk to me—"

"out of all the things you could have done to me, this is what you do?! you go and fuck somebody else?!" michael stops abruptly as he yells out loudly. all the anger is starting to build up inside of him.

luke gulps, taken aback slightly. he has never heard the boy yell like this before. not that he didn't deserve it, "i'm so sorry that i hurt you."

"yeah, you did hurt me," michael cries out, "you hurt me so much i didn't even know it was possible to hurt this much."

"you're the last person i ever want to hurt," luke choked out, his body feeling ready to collapse.

mike huffed, his lips set in a thin line. here he was, standing in front of someone who he thought he could love forever. someone who he thought he could always trust and have by his side. he thought the blonde was one in a million. he felt so lucky to have someone like him, but now he has come to find out that he is just like everyone else.

"you should have thought about that before you slept with someone else," he says harshly, his teeth gritted. he couldn't bare the sight of the blonde anymore, "i can't do this, please don't follow me," he pleads.

luke doesn't have the power to stop him as turns around and walks into the other direction. he stood there, completely frozen. he made the biggest mistake of his life. he would never be able to get the one person he loved most back into life.

+ + +

sorry for the long wait

only a few more chapters left! who's ready to see how it ends??