no one has to know || muke

six

there's days when michael felt like he wasn't alive. physically, he knew he was, but mentally, he wasn't. he didn't want to be.

those days, he couldn't focus. he couldn't hold a conversation without zoning out. he could barley walk straight without bumping into someone. sometimes, he felt like crying, but he wasn't going to have a breakdown in the middle of the hallways. that's when he had to stop himself, and remind himself that yes, he was alive and he just needs to breathe.

michael entered his last class of the day with all the power he still had remained in him. he sat where he normally did, letting his head fall forward and rest in his arms.

the teacher was talking, telling the class what the assignment was for today, but of course, michael didn't hear. he didn't hear the kids start to talk as they partnered up, and he didn't hear the teacher calling his name. only until he felt a hand on his arm did he react.

"michael, are you feeling okay?"

the small boy lifted his head up, his eyes wandering to the blonde sitting beside him. he had a small smile spread on his lips, like he did most of the time. michael didn't understand how he could always seem to be smiling. he seemed to like when his teacher smiled though. he needed a sense of happiness around him.

"I don't think I can do this work right now," michael mumbled, his voice small and delicate like it usually was. 

luke pursed his lips, leaning forward in his seat so he could be closer to the small boy, "why not? did something happen? ."

michael deeply sighed. he couldn't answer all these questions. he was so out of it all he could really do was stay quiet and stare.

"I just -- I really don't feel good right now, please don't make me do this," michael begged, his voice pleading.

luke, being a teacher, knew it was the right thing to keep encouraging michael to try. he also knew people, especially teenagers, had bad days where they didn't feel like cooperating.

"okay, I understand. how about we talk instead, then you can do the work tomorrow?" luke suggested.

michael bit the inside of his cheek, "talk about what?"

luke shrugged, adjusting the sleeve on his gray button down. he really wasn't sure himself about what michael and him could talk about, but he knew he didn't want to leave the boy back here alone, "how has your day been?"

michael wanted to be one of those people who would answer 'good, what about yours' but he wasn't one of those people, "not the best."

luke frowned when he heard that. he didn't know michael very well, but he could tell the younger boy didn't deserve to have bad days.

"do you want to tell me about it?" luke reached forward, placing his hand on michael's arm, just a comforting instinct he had. in a way, it felt wrong to be touching a student, especially michael, like this. even if it was only a simple gesture of comfort.

michael's eyes adverted almost instantly to where his teachers hand was put. he took a moment to look at the slim, nimble fingers and allowed the unusual warmth feeling to run through his arm. eventually the seventeen year old quickly glanced at the blonde before he pulled his arm away. the act only caused luke's cheeks to heat up and, in his head, he continually questioned himself why he did that as a silence fell between the two. it was quite an awkward silence, to add, which only made matters worst for luke.

the older man cleared his throat, and as he spoke he kept his voice to a whisper, "what happened the other day, in the hall with those other boys, is that why you are upset?"

michael shook his head vigorously, "i don't care about what they did to me. they already physically hurt me, i don't want to let them win by mentally hurting me also."

"i'm glad you're thinking that way."

michael pulled a forced smile on his lips. he pulled his legs up and hugged his knees to his chest. he fully understood why luke would be worried about him after he saw what happened yesterday, but he didn't want to questioned anymore. he definitely did not want to bring up any occasion that happened just a few days ago as well.

"this might not help at all, but i'm here if you need to talk, michael. i know i'm only your teacher, but i'm a pretty good listener too," luke mentioned, although michael didn't seem to be listening, "just make sure you have this done for tomorrow, okay ?"

michael nods as he buried his face into his knees. he didn't know why, but he felt like crying and he hated to cry. he could hear footsteps walk the opposite direction of him, meaning his teacher is no longer beside him.

michael loved being left alone, but now he felt more alone than ever. all he did was push people away.

+ + +

how did everyone's christmas go? what did you all get?

i hope everyone is enjoying 2017 so far xx