eighteen

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michael has never hid a secret from his mum. he didn't have many secrets, his life not being thrilling enough to have any. so the fact that he had to keep the secret of kissing his teacher was almost impossible. he knew this was a secret that could never be told. it could ruin luke's life. it could never escape him. it was eating him up inside.

michael walked into his mum's office where she sat, the pencil in her hand quickly jotting down some words. the brunette always thought his mum was a beautiful woman, even when she was just sitting there.

"hey, mum. I'm going on a walk," michael informed her. he was almost positive he could have left without letting her know and she wouldn't even notice. she has been cooped up in her office all day, not leaving to even say a single word to her son.

"be careful," michael heard her say, not bothering to look at the small boy who was stood in the doorway.

michael hurried to the door without saying another word. he threw on a thin hoodie over his shoulders, letting the sleeves hang over his hands. he quickly made his way outdoors where a cool breeze instantly hit him.

he made his way across his lawn, before opening the door to the passenger seat of the car in front of his home and taking a seat.

"hey, mike," luke's voice cracked at the end. he cleared his throat, trying to act like he wasn't a nervous wreck right now.

"hi," michael responded shyly.

"thank you for agreeing to see me outside of school. i thought it would be best if we talked about this where there weren't so many people around who could get me fired," luke let out a forced chuckle, trying to lighten the mood a bit since it seemed so upright right now. neither of the two wanted to talk about the other day, but it had to happen eventually.

"it's completely fine, i wouldn't want to risk jeopardizing your job."

a thankful smile spread across luke's thin lips. he really liked michael. he wished it was on different terms where luke wasn't his teacher and michael wasn't his student. the blonde would love to pursue a relationship with the younger boy, but it wasn't that easy.

"let's get going, yeah? i have somewhere we can go."

michael nodded as his nimble fingers played with a lose thread on his hoodie, "okay."

luke began driving while he tried to pretend that the silence wasn't driving him insane. he was the adult and he should have been the one trying to make michael feel comfortable throughout the ride, but luke was never good about communicating how he felt.

not to long later, they pulled up to a field of grass. michael was utterly confused, but he didn't mention anything of it. right in the middle of the grass was a lake that reflected the sun. he was so focused on the scenery he hadn't realized that luke had stopped the car and was ready to get out.

"come on, i think you'll like this," luke has a big smile on his face, and michael admired how much the older man smiled no matter what kind of situation he was in.

the brunette followed luke's actions of getting out of the car. he stayed close behind him as they stepped through all the grass and flowers. michael still wasn't sure why the two had to come here to talk, but he wasn't upset about it.

luke looked over his shoulder at michael, his eyes squinting from the sun, "i hope this isn't too weird. i like to come here sometimes."

michael shook his head, "it's nice."

luke took the initiative to sit down right before his feet hit the water from the lake. michael, a bit awkwardly, took a seat next to him figuring that's what luke wanted him to do.

the blonde wasn't sure how to start the conversation. he didn't know how to bring their kiss up without making it seem uncomfortable. sure, it should be something easy to talk about, but for this duo, it wasn't.

"i want to apologize for the other day when i kissed you. it was unprofessional of me, and i'm a grown adult who should have known not to do that. i—"

michael cut luke off to give his own input, "you don't have to apologize. it's okay, really."

michael wasn't at all upset, nor mad about what happened. to this minute, he is still shocked that the moment occurred. he thinks about it continuously and he still didn't know how to feel about. although if he was being honest, he wouldn't mind if it would happened again.

"no, it's not okay. see, this is my job, mike. i can't risk losing it," luke explains as he keeps his eyes focused on the water.

"it was just one kiss. you and i are the only ones that know about. you're not going to lose your job," michael assures him, understanding that luke it worried about his job.

luke lets out a long, over dramatic exhale. he pulls his knees to chest as best as he can with the black skinny jeans he had on, "it's not just the kiss, i have actual feelings for you and i have for sometime now. i don't know how i let it happen. there's something about you that pulls me in and once you're in it seems like there's no way out."

michael could feel his heart beating against his rib cage. he was speechless. there were no words that could match up to what luke said. not ever being in a serious relationship, michael has never been more confused about what to do. he couldn't deny that kissing luke made him grow more feelings for the blonde lad, but he wasn't going to try and get in the way of luke and his job.

"i'm sorry, i know this is a lot to take in. i mean, there's only so little that i know about you, but so much more that i want to find out," luke takes a shaky breath, "i wish things didn't have to be this complicated."

mike was in awe that someone like luke took attraction to him. it was a bit overwhelming, but also a bit comforting to know. he has never felt more confused than at this very moment. he would love to peruse a closer relationship with luke, but he also knew that it could be risky. michael wanted to tell luke how he felt, but first he had to know for himself how he felt.

the seventeen year old wanted to kiss luke again and remember what it felt like to be kissing the blonde. thinking about it caused the chills to run up and down his spine.

"when isn't life complicated?" michael joked.

luke half-heartily chuckled. he really wasn't in the laughing mood right now, "i just don't think it should happen again."

michael only nodded because he did want it to happen again. anytime he got his hopes up, they got let back down again.

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hi (-: xx

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