no one has to know || muke

seventeen

luke laid in bed all day have a metal argument with himself as he thought about telling calum how he kissed his student. he really has thought about it. he thought about the pros and the cons, but all in all, he figured it was best if he kept it to himself for right now.

of course, luke could trust calum with every secret he had. he knew the tanned boy wouldn't tell anyone, but this is much bigger than just a tiny little secret. he kissed his student. this particular student being underage and also a student that he has grown very fond over these past few months.

no matter how badly he wanted to get it off his chest and tell someone, anyone, he couldn't.

over the past view days when he was near calum, he was always so close to blurting it out. he would have to cover it up and say something completely different than what he actually wanted to say. it hurt his lungs, and his chest not to just say it like it was something simple. it was nearly tearing him apart inside to keep it all to himself. he didn't know what to do about it. he didn't know if he should talk to michael and bring it up. he was the adult here, he had to do something about it.

luke grabbed his phone from the side table next to his bed, dialing the one and only number he knew by heart. it rang three times before someone answered and he heard the familiar, and warm voice of his mother.

"why do I have to grow up?" luke started, not bothering to go through the greeting process since he's been through it plenty of times before.

"well," his mum paused, "everyone has to grow up at some point in their lives."

luke groaned, not satisfied with that answer. he didn't want to have to grow up. he wanted to stay a kid, so he didn't have to deal with everything adults had to. he didn't want to pay bills, or do his own laundry.

luke ran his fingers through his slightly greasy hair, making it look even more messy than it already was, "how do I handle adult things?"

"I can't tell you how to handle things, lucas. you are now an adult who can handle his own situations."

"I don't want to," luke whined, a prominent frown set on his pink lips as he let his body fall down onto his bed.

the blonde could hear his mother sigh, and he could almost imagine her rolling her blue eyes, the same color as his. luke got the pretty blue eyes from his mum.

"you were always such a whiner. where is this all coming from?" her youngest son could here the confusion in her voice with this whole phone call from the start.

luke opened his mouth to speak, but closed it instantly. there it was again. he was so close to telling his mum about michael. other than calum, his mum is the only other person he would tell this to, but he couldn't. he stared down at his feet for a moment, trying to figure out the right thing to say.

"I kissed this," luke paused, creasing his eyebrows together, "guy.. and we have been avoiding to talk about it. I just don't know what to do." luke partially lied.

"do you like this guy?" she asked.

luke inhaled sharply, biting the inside of his cheek. his jaw tightened at the question that remained floating unanswered for luke himself, "i do, but it's not that easy."

"you should do whatever you feel like is right to you. if you really like this guy, then I think you should bring it up, see what he has to say about it."

it was times like this where luke wished he could physically see his mum and hug her. he moved out at eighteen, starting on his own at a young age. he thought it was the right choice, but is now realizing that it wasn't the best. he missed his having his mum around to talk to.

"thanks mum," luke said, letting the information sink in, "I'll see you soon."

the twenty-seven year old aimlessly threw his phone onto the bed. there always was the voice that echoed through his head, telling him it should never have happened. he was a grown man, kissing a young boy. that's definitely something he never wanted to say out loud.