Strings

Very Subtle

Short and sad. I guess.

______________________________

2 months later.

"I went to the doctor again." I said cleaning off the table. "Yeah? What did they tell you?" Angie said sitting at the bar. "A miscarriage, I guess." I said shrugging. "Oh my goodness, talia. Why didn't you tell me?" Angie said coming over and standing behind me. "Because I'm fine..it doesn't even matter." I said sitting down.

"Have you told Nicholas?" she asked. "No, I mean..we just got back to a good place and I don't want to ruin it with the fact that I can't carry a baby to term." I said running my hands through my hair. Really I'm fine, it's something that happens sometimes.

"You can't just brush this off like its something that didn't happen Natalia. I know you're hurting." Angie said looking me up and down.

"Really Angela, I'm fine. You should probably head home, the weathers getting bad soon." I said standing up and walking her towards the front door. "If you ever need me, I'm only a phone call way." She said hugging me and staring sadly into my eyes before leaving.

That's what I don't need. I don't need people fucking pitying me because trust me, I've got enough for myself. This baby was meant to be a surprise, an outcome of a better life with Nicholas and now I don't know. I wanted to have another child for him maybe even a son to take his mind of this Leslie thing.

I couldn't help but feel alone in this. I don't want to tell Nicholas because that's the last thing we need in our relationship right now. "I just saw Angie leave. How are you sweetheart?" He said pecking me on my lips as he entered the kitchen.

"How did it feel to be with her? Was she better than me?" I felt myself asking a question I'd never built up enough courage to ask. I don't know what's going on with me lately and how to control it. I just feel insecure about everything.

"What?"he said dropping his gym bag to the ground. "I'm tired Nicholas, I'm tired of being locked up in this house everyday playing wife and taking care of our daughter while...while you go play father to leslie and her unborn child." I said looking up.

"What? Where is this coming from?" He said walking towards me. "Nowhere, I just..never mind I'm just a little tired." I said walking out of the kitchen and up to our bedroom. I don't even know where all of this was coming from myself.

I walked into our bathroom and cut on the shower, locked the door and did the only thing that I could do at this point. Cry. Cry because I lost a child that I didn't even get to know. Cry because my husband is having a baby with another woman.