Hold Me Tight, And Don't Let Go (On Hold)

Chapter 4: Open Arms

My meeting with the publishing company went well, just as I had imagined it would. They gave me a year to start on the first book and I told them that I would most likely have it ready for them before then. They liked that a lot. Michael was the first one to call me when I got home from the meeting that I had. He was in rush to get off the phone because he had to go and perform but he said that he just wanted to hear my voice. I liked the sound of that.

I hated the fact that I had to leave Tennessee so soon considering the fact that he was staying there for a whole week. I wondered if I would ever see him again. For, that was the first time we had ever seen each other since he was sitting in the college class of students who was interested in the book that I had written. That had been a year ago. Now I had saw him again and I'm the little time the we had spent together, I guess you could say that I had developed a little crush on him.

My first couple of days back in New York was simple. I go back to my small empty condo and get ready for work the next day. I sit through these therapist sessions and give people advice when really I honestly think all need to do is spend a few Sundays in church. It was then that I realized I lived a very lonely life for a woman who was just in her early twenties. I needed something to do with myself besides constantly dealing with the fucked up conceptions of my family and strangers lives, and constantly sitting down for hours writing stories that I wish I could live in real life.

I found it very hard to believe that I would actually be able to do that. It was impossible.

I was beginning to wonder if living a life as a psychiatrist and a novelist was the kind of life I really wanted to live.

Was it just a way to keep occupied so I wouldn't have to worry myself half to death with the annoyance of the questions that I had running through my head on a daily basis about where my mother might have gone? Or was it really my passion?

I hadn't yet found myself. And that was a disturbing discovery that I had made. There was something missing in my life. I just didn't know what it was.

I was sitting in my office working on some paperwork. I had decided to stay a little later because I didn't want to go home and be utterly bored and lonely all day. The office made me feel a little better. It was an environment, complete with colors of the spring like green, yellow, pink, cream. Wasn't really my style but I was used to it.

It was well have dark and decided to go ahead and get ready to leave. Just then my phone rung. I sighed and picked it up." Hello?"

"Theresa?"It was my little brother, Jacob.

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

I laid back in my chair." I'm about to leave my office. Why, what's wrong?"

"I highly suggest you come here first its an important."

I wrinkled my nose." Why do I have to go over there?" That was the last thing I ever wanted to do.

"Theresa please." I could tell by how frustrated his voice sounded that maybe it was important. I sighed stood up picking up my purse and my keys.

"This better be important as you say it is."

"I'm telling you it is."

"Okay."

I didn't know what it was that was so important that I had to be there. Luther said that I wasn't welcomed there and I took his word for it. I hadn't seen him in a year and I don't know how he was doing. Apart me cared about him because he was the only quote unquote, "Father Figure." in my life but another part of me wished he would go burn in hell.