Pheirdhu

Ehmbrouxaith

"STOOPPPPP!!!!!"

     I jerked out of my bed forcefully. Sweat and tears were present, but no blood. I tried to calm my heart down. I could feel it beating rapidly. When Ifinally gained control of my mind, I remembered:

"Another dream, or more like my memories haunting me..."

I look outside my window, the disperses were still bright, beautiful and enchanting. It has been the twentieth consecutive time that I had dream of that horrific incident. The incident that caused me my life. My life to be with the ones I loved.

My name is Yourhia Xahlmasza. 18 circas old. I used to be of nobility until a fateful day that caused my life. Five circas ago, I was brutally abused by a man named Syras. One day, we found him lying unconscious near our entrance. My family took him in and nurtured him back to health.  He served as my Alalai as his way ofgratitude for our care. We loved him as a family and treated him with respect until that "accident". No one saw him after that. He just left me there to die and be disgusting. It was considered disgraceful to have a daughter whose womanhood was stained before matrimony. And the only way to ease the wrath of the deities is to treat  the convicted daughter dead. My parents did just that. They left me here in the Convenant and I've not heard of them since.

I tried to relax my body. I pushed my unruly hair to my back and again tried to recount the tragedy of my life.

My parents, relatives and friends saw the disgrace that happened to me. They said they found me bloody, with clothes torn in unsightly ways. While I was recovering, my friends told me that Syras confessed of his guilt but stated that I enticed him to do so. Since he has connections with the Commune, I was the one who recieved the brunt of this sin. 

My eyes started pouring again, but I know that was not yet the most heart-crushing part.

My parents were ashamed of me. For weeks they would not look me in the eye and shun me from social parties. Mysister was the only person in the world who defended me and made me feel happy at that time. They then decided that I be put in the Covenant to atone for my disgrace. 

"Yourhia, don't leave me!!!"

"Mother, Father, ________, come back!!!"

"Let's go, ______. She does not belong to our family anymore."

"But mom..."

"Forget about her ______, we have to leave!"

"Yourhia, promise you'll come back for me!!!"

"I will, even if I have to die to do so, I WILL!!!"

"You might as well...."

I noticed small drops of tears on my sleepwear. Tjose were the last words that I remembered before they abandoned me here. And the most forlorn part of it is that I have forgotten her name. The name of the person who has my back for years. 

I felt sorry for myself, always crying in the middle of the night, wishing that someday my parents will come back and forgive for the things I DID NOT WISH TO HAPPEN. Every fiber of my being wants me to hug, kiss and see my little sister again.To ask for repentance because of all these years of fruitless searches for her and for letting her down.

"You might as well".....They really want me to die.....

But.....I know that will not to happen. My parents believe in keeping the family name untainted. They would do anything to protect it, even to kill and abandon. I might as well lose hope.....

Me eyes felt heavy, I'm beginning to fall asleep again. I positioned my head face-down on the pillow, hoping that this action will block the sounds of my whimpers and sobs. Tomorrow is another day of repentance and another day of being haunted by these awful memories.

This is the 2Oth time I cried myself to sleep.....