LABELLED: Tormentor || LRH

Part One.

 Luke's Point Of View

Walking down the stairs, I stepped onto the cold flooring. I slowly moved my feet and walked towards the kitchen and sat down at the counter top table. The mail was on the table, my letters rising and rising as the days went by. I didn't open them, I couldn't open them I didn't want to know what were in them.

Sorry letters that yn wasn't here anymore I didn't need to read that one after another it's bad enough hearing people saying sorry. Sorry wasn't going to bring her back. Sorry wasn't going to bring Yn back, my yn.

Sorry doesn't make things right or change things, it's just reminding me that it's my fault she isn't around anymore, my fault nobody elses. She sacrificed herself for me. Yet people are saying sorry to me, they shouldn't be it's my fault.

It's been around two maybe three months since yn hasn't been around, you're probably thinking, why are you talking like she's dead?'

When she might be alive but she said she was going to sacrifice herself so that makes me believe she's never coming back and she isn't even though there are parts of me hoping she's still alive. She's gone, I have to learn to deal with it but it's hard. I love her.

I still believe she's alive sometimes because her body hasn't been found or if she isn't dead she's locked up somewhere. I don't know, there is so much going around in my mind. Even though she said goodbye to me over the phone and she was going to sacrifice herself for me I hoped she was alive but the others didn't have much hope. There has been a missing person case going on to try and find her but there has been no luck but if she is dead they're not going to find her body. Call me selfish, I wish it was me not her.

All the others are moving on with their lives slowly but me I can't, I can't do that moving on means I'm going to forget about Yn, forget she's not here anymore and I can't do that, I won't let myself do that.

I can't forget her, I'm not going to let myself forget her. I can't move on. Not when I'm still in love with her and there is a slight change she might be alive.

"Luke" I hear my brother Ben say as he walked into the kitchen and looked at me. I looked at him, "you haven't had much sleep again have you?" He asked me, I shook my head in response and he sighed. "Luke you need to try-" "I'm trying my best Ben, I want to sleep, I'm trying but I can't alright because every time I close my eyes I always see her," I say my eyes filling up with tears.

"Luke I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," he said apologising. "Don't worry" I say standing up, looking at the letters on the table, I looked up at Ben before walking past him. "It will take time Luke, it will get easier" I hear Ben say as I walked out of the kitchen.

It won't get easier, it will get harder because as every day passes it will be another day I'm reminded she's not here anymore, Yn's not here.

I walked into my room after walking up the stairs and walked over to my drawers. I opened it and took out my phone which I haven't used in days. I picked it up and held it while walking over to my bed.

I sat down on my bed, used my hand to push back my hair from my eyes. I looked at my phone in my hands. I haven't used it in days as every time I pressed the home button my lock screen picture of me and yn would come up.

Seeing her picture made it worse, hearing her name made it worse and seeing her parents made it even worse as they were dealing with the same circumstances. Nothing was going to make the pain go away, nothing. I clicked my main button on my phone never the less, her picture lighting up my screen. My eyes filling up with tears again, some tears dropped on my phone screen, I typed in my passcode and clicked onto my picture gallery.

A gallery full of pictures but not only pictures, memories. I adjusted myself on my bed so my back was against the wall. I scrolled through the pictures looking at them all one by one, remembering the memory behind the picture that was taken while the tears kept taking over my eyesight. I wiped them away with my hand.I should have just locked my phone and stopped looking but I couldn't but seeing the pictures not only hurt me and caused me pain but it helped me to remember all the happy memories and times I had with Yn before they were gone.

They were gone now, they were just pictures, I wasn't going to have any more happy times with her because she's gone. Gone because of me, I caused it all. I caused everyone all the pain and misery, it's my fault. She sacrificed herself for me. I'm the reason she's gone and never coming back. Looking at the pictures hurt me but the pain I had to take it as I caused it. I was tormenting myself with the pictures on my phone, I caused my own pain because of me she's gone and I was never going to be able to forget that.

I was never going to forget.

I was the reason she was gone.

I was to blame.