You Know I'm Such a Fool for You

Chapter 5

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Chapter 5

Vicky

I woke up with the sunlight on my face. Dammit, I forgot to close the curtains last night. Since it was Saturday and I didn’t have to go to school, I got up, closed them and went back to bed so I could try to rest some more. That was a good plan. I didn’t get much to sleep at night; there were too many things on my mind. I kept thinking about all that’s going on in my life now. In fact, it all can be resumed in one word. Oliver. I was really odd how a boy who was in my life for less than a month could mess things up the way he did.

First of all, that was the conversation with Adrian. I’m really embarrassed for telling him all these intimate things. I’ve never had that kind of conversation with him and I must tell, I didn’t think I could do it, but at the moment I was so confused and surprised by the fact that Oliver is leaving, that I couldn’t think straight. When he told me Leah wasn’t at home I almost fainted. So, adding my desperation to the fact that Adrian seemed to be really worried, I ended up telling him everything.

It’s a little contradictory, you could tell, because even though it was awkward, I don’t regret telling him my problems. I was quite nervous to talk about my (nonexistent) sex life to a guy, especially Adrian. But to my astonishment, he was pretty nice listening to me; he seemed to understand what I was going through and made me realize how silly I was being without making fun of the whole situation.

My ‘little chat’ with Adrian led me to my second problem: I was mad to myself. I know I liked Oliver, or at least I thought so, but how could I even consider giving up my virginity for him? Yeah, I was pretty sure he had feelings for me was well, but that doesn’t give him the right to act the way he’s acting. Maybe I’m overreacting, but – hey, I’m a teenage girl, I’m aloud to feel a little lost – and that’s just how I feel right now. That was one thing I was sure of, though. I was complete over Oliver. When I thought of him all I could feel was anger.

Since I’m counting, let’s see my third problem – Leah. If I was mad to myself, she would probably lose her mind, and that’s why I can’t tell her what happened. Also, I’m too ashamed to tell what passed through my mind. It was bad enough that Adrian already knew, but at least he was a free mind. Leah, on the other hand, was always the responsible one, what means that she would freak out if I told her about my doubt. Now thinking that way, it was probably better that I talked to Adrian instead… So, when Leah and I talk today – and I know that will be plenty of talk – I’m just telling her that Oliver’s leaving and that we had to break up.

The only problem with that is that I feel really bad for sharing with Adrian a part of my life that Leah doesn’t know about. We’ve been best friends for like our whole lives and I never kept a secret from her. Well, anyway, I made up my mind and deep down inside I know it’s for the best because she would be very very worried with my reaction about Oliver’s request.

Enough problems, right – I wish!

I didn’t even mentioned the biggest one – Him. I still didn’t tell Oliver that I’m not having sex with him. He said that we would talk today. I hope he just calls me. It would be much easier that way, because I’m afraid he gets mad with my refusal. If he shows up here the situation can get pretty bad…

I glanced at my clock. 9:15. With a sigh I realized that my plan of getting some sleep wasn’t working, so I got, brushed my teeth and went downstairs.