My Dirty Little Secret

A Photo Says A Thousand Words

     This week is dragging by excruciatingly slow, but it's all a blur to me. I am sitting outside of work after my shift Wednesday afternoon. I am trying to prepare myself for home. Seeing Tisha all over Jamie is tearing me up inside, and it's taking every ounce of my energy to keep myself together and cover it up. I sip my cappuccino and look around. This part of town is so quiet compared to the part Jamie took me too. There are more parks and trees here. But the weather is beautiful today. It's only seventy-five degrees and the trees are starting to change from green to dark reds and burnt oranges. I watch as Nate walks for the door, eyeing me. Today was the first day I'd really seen him since that night at my house. I was already sitting outside when he came in today. He struts towards me, his dark green apron is tied around his waist. He looks nice, as always. I am suddenly embarrassed about the other night. I'm glad Jamie had stopped us, it wouldn't have felt right to continue with Nate. He's such a good friend and that would've ruined that. He stops in front of my table, smiling weakly.

     "Hey Nate." I smile at him and he sinks into the chair across from me, sighing. "I'm so glad you're not angry with me." he reveals and I sit up. "What? Why would I be angry with you?" I ask in full wonder. "Because of the other night. I acted like a total ass." he shakes his head at me and I laugh a little, sitting back in my chair. "Don't worry, I'm not mad. And you're not a total ass." I shrug and he laughs now, relaxing. "I wasn't trying to take advantage of you. I'd just been drinking and..." he shrugs again, his face turning pink. "Seriously Nate, don't worry about it. I'm not mad at all." I say in all seriousness and he nods, smiling at me. "I do have to say I don't like that Jamie guy." Nate narrows his eyes at me and I roll mine. "He's not normally like that." I shake my head, but that's not exactly true. "Really? He isn't normally controlling and psycho?" Nate laughs and I laugh with him. It's sort of ironic. "Well, he's never that psycho." I say, my mood starting to dip down. Oh, Jamie. My body was aching for him. Really I'd just be happy to talk with him. Not only have we been good and not kissed since Monday night but we haven't said much to each other either. 

     "Well, just be careful with him. Tisha too. I have to get back to work, but I miss you. Let's catch a movie sometime. What are you doing Friday?" Nate smiles at me, his normal puppy dog smile as he pushes his chair in. Oh shit, Friday. I'd almost forgotten about my fucked up dinner plans. "Jamie huh?" Nate notices my silence and I nod. "And I thought Jamie was married to your sister, not you." Nate jokes rolling his eyes before scurrying back inside. My cheeks are completely hot at what Nate said. Married to Jamie. Ugh. I stand up deciding it's time to head home. I'm sure Jamie and Tisha are patiently awaiting my arrival. I roll my eyes at myself again. 

     To my surprise the house is silent when I get home. Tisha's car is gone and I assume Jamie is with her. I can't help but to be relieved as I head upstairs to my room. It felt like the past few days everywhere I turned there they were. I throw my purse on my little couch and decide to change really quick. I had spilled a lot of coffee at work today and I smelt like a large cappuccino. I change into a pair of dark jean shorts with a well fitted knit sweater. I smile at the coziness, at the emptiness of the house as I flop onto the floor of my room. I stare at the small pink box and small blue box tucked away under my desk. The pink one is full of my normal photos, but the blue one...it's completely dedicated to Jamie. I reach over and grab the blue one. I hadn't really looked through all of them. My fingers are shaky with anticipation. I look over at my open door, nervous like I'm doing something wrong before flipping open the top. 

     A hansom, intoxicating man is staring up at me from various poses. He takes my breath away, even just from a photo. I dump the box over and spread the various small Polaroids in front of me. Most of them he didn't even know I was taking, and those are my favorite. "Oh, god." I whisper to myself as I pick one up of him shirtless. The only shirtless one I have. He is a god. "Jessica?" his voice slithers into my ears and I snap my head up towards my door. He is standing there in a pair of dark pants with a white long sleeve collared shirt. Dear god. My skin tingles as he looks at me. "What are you doing?" he steps into the room and suddenly my face is hot with embarrassment. "Uh..." I struggle to sweep all the photos up but he's already squatting down beside me. I sigh, giving up and let the photos fall out in front of him. "Jessica..." he says softly his hand touches one of them, then another. I stare down into my lap as he sits down now, looking at the scattered photos of himself. "You took all of these, of me?" his voice is so soft. I nod. "Oh Jessica." suddenly he's scooping me into his lap, his arms wrapping around me. He feels so good. He's so warm and smells of faint cologne and clean linen. I wrap my own arms around his neck, giving into him as I nuzzle my nose into his neck. 

     "Come to the office with me tomorrow, please?" he asks, his hand is softly running through my hair. I nod, too involved with his scent and touch to speak. "I only have one thing I need to do then I can take the rest of the day off." his voice is low and husky now as his hand moves down my back, towards my butt. I can hear his breath hitching. Oh yes, please. I move my head from the crook of his neck finally and look at him. Yes, that fire is in his eyes. I grab the side of his face with my hand and press my lips to his. He tightens his hold around me as we kiss. I bite his lower lip and he moans, goosebumps scattering along my skin. He's controlling our kiss now, quickly moving his tongue about and then he swiftly rolls over so I am laying on the floor looking up at him. His hands are pressed to the floor on either side of my face, his knee in between my legs propping him up as well. He stares at me for a moment before his lips crash into mine again. Yes, yes, please. His lips are moving down my neck now, suckling and nibbling. My hands are grabbing the ends of his shirt. "Jessica." he moans into my neck before setting back to help me lift his shirt over his head. 

     I stare up at his glorious muscles, his broad shoulders, his chizzled abs. "Holy shit." I gasp out loud, a devious smile spreading across his face. "Shall we make things a little more even?" he smirks at me, grabbing the end of my sweater. He keeps his hands there, looking down at me, taunting me. I nod but he shakes his head at me, his thumbs running along my stomach. I moan under his touch. "Just take it off." I pant, pleading. "Mmmm." his eyes flutter shut and he's just about to pull the sweater over my head when we hear the front door slam. "Hello!" Tisha calls into the house. "Shit." Jamie pants rolling off of me. I quickly sit up, pulling my shirt down and frantically scooping the small photos back into their box. Jamie is on his feet now, pulling his shirt over his head again. He leans down and grabs my chin, forcing me to look up at him. My insides are in heaven as he touches me, looks at me. "Tomorrow then." he nods before slowly exiting the room. "Holy fuck..." I pant to myself, shutting the blue box shut and smacking my head against the side of my bed.