EXCHANGE OF HEARTS [BL]

KABANATA 23

“Drop me here,”

All their heads snaps at Race.

“What? Why?” His daddy asked him. “Did you forgot something?” Isaiah added.

Race shook his head as he looked outside. It's already dark, he can't see anybody outside the subdivision.

“Race?” The warning of his daddy's voice. “Tell, what's the problem?” Then worry shows in his face.

Race shook his head again, “no, I'm fine, dad.”

“Then, why is that you wanted us to drop you here?”

“Um,” he's searching for a response. Race look up to think but he can feel the stare of his daddy.

It's dangerous. His daddy used to stare at him using that look when he's angry or upset or irritated at him.

He sighed.

There's no place to lie, he can't lie to his daddy. Isaiah knows his son so well.

Race sigh again in defeat. “I'll meet someone here,” he finally admitted.

They all went silent. The silents is so deafening, he can hear the insects even though they are inside the car.

Hades cough. Isaiah blinks and Bridgette stare at him, shock.

“I gotta go,” he said and about to open the door but his daddy speak again.

“Who's the person you meet with?”

“Friend.” He didn't hesitated to answer but after that he doubted himself.

He don't know if him and Atlas is still a friend after what happened between them—the Atlas's confession. It cause a bigger changes specially in their friendship.

“A friend...” Isaiah nodded and glance at Hades.

“What's the name?” Hades asked.

“Can't tell you,”

“And why?”

“He's...” He's finding for a better answer of that question. “He's...private person, introvert and...he doesn't want anyone to—”

He then stopped because he realize something.

He said something. He mentioned something!

God, he wants to bury himself in the ground. He want to be a potato right now. He's hoping that his parents didn't realize it or they mishear it.

The nervousness he feel right now is the worst when he's takes his entrance exam.

He stares at his parents whose staring at him, waiting for him to continue, but there's no hints of confusion in their eyes and their emotions didn't change since he started talking.

Phew. Maybe they didn't realize it! Fuck! I would bury myself fifteen feet under the ground.

If you wondering why Race is acting like this and he's nervous because he mentioned something earlier?

It because he mentioned ‘he’. Race said ‘he’ and that is his biggest mistakes because he just giving his parents a hint what's the gender of this person he's meeting with.

“Why did you stop?” His daddy asked, brows frowned.

Shit. I hope they didn't realize it. He'll die young because of this. His papa will tease him forever and would never stop teasing him until his last breath.

God thanks! The didn't heard it! They didn't realize it! They didn't—

He stop and slowly look at his side and he saw Bridgette, staring at him intently, like she's reading him like a book.

God help. Bridgette didn't take the hint. She didn't realize it too. She's just waiting for him to continue like his parents. Possibly.

He cleared his throat after a moment of silent.

“My friend...” He said. “Is a private person. My friend doesn't like, um gathering, introvert and hates people.”

He look at Bridgette from his peripheral view and saw Bridgette arching her brow and tilt her head.

Jesus.

“Oh,” Hades finally said, nodding. “That's explain a lot.”

“He hates people but he's your friend,” not a question.

Race glance to his daddy. “Um, he hates people but we're friend. Not all people who hates people doesn't have a friend. Most of them have one to two friends.”

“Hmm, okay,” Isaiah nodding his head. “But still. He's a little bit weird for me. People doesn't hate people, they just don't want to be around with them. It's different right? Hates and doesn't want to be around with them.” Isaiah said more to himself and nodded again before he settle to his seat.

“Fine, we'll drop you here,” Race face lit up but he hide it immediately. “But, please...take care, okay? Call me when everything is not right, okay? Call me when you feel something different.”

“Yes, dad.”

“Call us, okay?” Isaiah asked again to assure.

“Yep,” Race popped the ‘p’.

He look at his daddy before he open the door and he hear a sigh when he step outside.

“Be home at 8 p.m. sharp.” 

When he look back to his father, he saw the hesitation in their eyes like they want to take back what they've said earlier and doesn't want him to leave.

“8 p.m.” Race repeated.

“Sharp.” Isaiah added.

Race watched the car until it disappear before he started walking. Suddenly, he stop when he saw someone coming from the dark.

“You're 5 minutes late,” Atlas voice echoed.

“My father throws many questions.”

Atlas nodded and a car beeped behind him.

“Let's go?” Atlas fell a step beside him as they walk towards the car.

It's a black classic mustang and Race was amaze by the car.

“You own this?” He ask.

“Yes.”

Eerily silence filled inside the car. Minutes passed but still no one talks. They are both silent and breathe are heavy.

“Where are we going?” Race break the silence at last.

Fuck the silence. It's so deafening it feels like bees are whispering in my ear.

“You'll see later.” Atlas answered but it didn't satisfied Race.

Wherever they going, Race seems relax and comfortable. He's expecting Atlas to welcome him a happy birthday song but he didn't. Atlas didn't say a word.

He's a little bit offended. He thought Atlas wants to meet him because he knows that today is his birthday. Yet, even a greetings he didn't receive from the man whose driving and been silent in the whole ride.

Race feel irritated, his brow frowned and the middle of his brow deepen as he stare at the window and watching the trees passed by.

After a long ride, they finally stop in front of a three-story house that looks classic.

The double gate open and they go inside. From the distance, Race hear a loud bang of a music. No shouting, just a loud music echoed the place.

Race glanced at the man beside him to ask a question but he stop himself when he saw the dark eyes of Atlas, the intent of his eyes stop him.

Jaw clenched and narrowed eyes.

“What the fuck are they...” Atlas muffle the words, he didn't hear what Atlas said.

When Atlas step outside and he followed.

“What is happening, Atlas and where are we?” He asked. The place seems so horrific. He didn't see any houses near here and they are surrounded by a bunch of trees.

Why a house built here? They are weirds.

Race look around before he fell a step beside Atlas whose stumping his feet hard in the earth.

Atlas is mad.

He can see it in his eyes. The dark eyes, narrowed and intense. Brow frowned and jaw clench.

Atlas looks...wonderful. Handsome. Attractive. Dangerous.

Atlas open the door without knocking. The music filled his ear as they step inside.

Race roam his eyes around. Drinks. Smoke. Party.

But Race didn't saw any people partying.

Only James drinking, Rile not minding his surrounding and Sebastian playing a dart.

Race's eyes drop to the man who seems the only one who enjoy the party.

Smoke between his index and middle finger, a bottle of liquor in his other hand. He's enjoying the loud party music, he do head bangs like a rock star and then suddenly everything went out.

The party lights went off. The music turned off. Silence fell over, it eating them.

Head turned towards him. Race didn't know what to do. He panic, sweat in his palms.

Fuck. He didn't know what to react. The guys might think that he's the one who turned off the music and the party lights.

He was about to explain himself that he didn't do it but he feel something dangerous step beside him that makes him shiver.

Atlas presense makes his body shiver. This is the first time he saw Atlas this intense and dark eyes clouded with anger.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Voice hard as rock.

His three friends freeze like a statue, they gulp and James look away wiping his sweat.

His friends...are terrified at this side of Atlas.

He is too.

“I said what the fuck are you doing?” Atlas voice boom. “Sebastian?” He gaze Sebastian who look calm but sweat streaming down.

Sebastian swallowed, “w-we...um, we—”

“You're throwing a party,” Atlas cuts him off, eyes were bloodshot.

Race didn't know what's happening and why Atlas is mad that his friends is throwing a party. Race didn't see any wrong about this, he just—Race move backward, away from smoke.

“W-We didn't...it's...it's—” James couldn't find a right word to say. He's trembling.

“Who the fuck told you to throw a party? I already told you do not do anything stupid!”

“We didn't throw a party,” Rile said, hands in his pocket. He seem calm. “It's August.”

They all look at the man whose smoking and didn't mind what happened around him like he have another world.

“August,” Atlas called the man with a cold and dry voice.

“Brother.” The man stand and walk slowly towards Atlas.

“What the fuck did you?”

“Obviously! I'm throwing a party!” The man named August throw his arms in the air and laugh.

Race flinched when August look at his way and then the man is in front of him puffing a smoke in his mouth.

“Hm, you must be Race.” August smiled at him and puff the smoke at his face.

Race fall a step backward and cough so hard when the smoke goes to his lungs.

God, he hate the smell of smoke and the effect of it in his body.

“Motherfucker.”

Seconds later, Race heard a loud bang, he look at the man who puff a smoke at his face—was now sitting in the floor, wiping the blood in his mouth.

“Don't. Do. That. Again.”

Atlas hands in his brother's neck, gripping tight but the man was smiling like an idiot.

“Oh, you'll willingly kill your own blood and brother for this...” August look at him before he smiled and continue. “Man? What a shame.”

“Want to see Hades?” Atlas tilt his head, his eyes are now blank. Race didn't see any mercy in Atlas's eyes.

It brings fire in his body just looking at the man he knows and seconds passed he thinks he knows this man enough but the truth is Race didn't really know the man who defended him.

Seeing Atlas like this makes him shiver and he wants to run away from this place. He didn't expected this, he didn't know that this will happen and he didn't expect to see Atlas like this.

Something dark clouded to his eyes. Race saw no mercy.

Race though that Atlas was a soft man who loves to piss him off, who loves to throw a jokes and a man who keep saying they are friends. He thought wrong. Perhaps. After he saw this, he change his mind.

Atlas is not a soft man. He's dangerous man.

But still, Race couldn't move. His body won't let him leave even though he's terrified after seeing this. What a shame. His body told him a different. His body told him the opposite.

Run. His mind said. Run. Run. Run. Run. Dangerous. Dangerous man.

His mind works.

Don't. Stay with him. He's not dangerous. He's different. Don't run.

His body object and move.

Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Fucking stay.

So he stay even though he's trembling and there's an urge to his mind to run and don't look back.

“I'll kill if you do that again,” Atlas cold voice stop him from his reverie.

“Nah, you wouldn't—” August didn't finish when he choke.

“You wouldn't know...Don't take my threat as a joke, August. Trust me, the last thing in mind right now is to put this fucking cigarette to your fucking mouth while I lit it up.”

Run.  No. Stay. Run. Stay.

“Atlas,” Sebastian, on the other hand wants to stop the tension between the brother but Atlas throw him a death glare that made Sebastian stop.

“Stop me or I'll kill you too.”

This is not right. Atlas won't kill his friends and his brother. No. He's not a killer. The Atlas he know was soft and always pissing him off.

“Dude, cool off, okay? We're sorry—”

“Sorry?” Atlas clutch Sebastian collar and yank him. “Sorry?! I already told you don't do any stupid! Don't ruin my plan and don't throw a damn party!”

“I'm sorry—”

“I told you, Sebastian to not disobey me when I order you. I told you, Sebastian that Race didn't like party, drinks and smoke. Yet, you disobey me by letting his motherfucker to throw a party! Look around, it look so mess!” Atlas shove Sebastian away.

Race saw what happened. It looks not real. The party, the drinks and the smoke that goes to his lungs and knock him off. Until now he's steadying his breath.

“It's his birthday, right? We should throw a party, brother. He likes party and smoke,” August laugh as he hand a cigarette at Race but Atlas slap his hand away.

“Stop it, August.” Atlas warned his brother before Atlas reach for his hands and pull him away from the house.

Race didn't argue. He let Atlas pull him even though his heart is stomping hard at his ribcage.

He wanted to be mad at Atlas because of his threat to his brother but he can't. Atlas is defending him and even know that he hates cigar and drinks.

“I'm sorry,” Atlas says, voice still dry. “You shouldn't see that. I'm a mess.”

Race didn't speak, everything seems not real to him.

Atlas threat his brother to kill him.
Atlas threat his friends.
Atlas defended him.
Atlas punch his brother when he puffed a smoke to his face.
Atlas being mad at his friends and brother because they throw a party.
Atlas being mad because he saw drinks and cigar.

Atlas is something else.

“Wait for me here.” Atlas said before Race can response, Atlas walk back to house and he left there speechless and catching his own breathe.

That smoke did something to his lungs and makes his heart beat fast. For a second, when August puffed his smoke to his face, Race life flash to his face.

A minutes later, Atlas back with a food container in his hands.

“I'm sorry,” Atlas said, this time his voice is soft and tender like something didn't happened earlier.

Soft Atlas is back.

“Why are you throwing tantrums earlier?” He ask the man whose still holding the container.

“Get in the car.” Atlas order and Race didn't ask twice as he get in.

Atlas drove away from the house, he can't hear a loud music anymore.

Maybe they stop after what happened earlier.

“I'm sorry,”

“You said it three times,” he look at Atlas, jaw clench and Race saw a tension in his body.

“I'm sorry. I'm mad—”

“I can see that.” Race nodded.

“I'm mad. I already told them no party, no drinks and smoke but they disobey me,” Atlas tensions grows more. Eyes becomes dark. “And my brother, he puffed his smoke at you, Race.” Atlas inhale an air.

“It's nothing. I'm fine,” lie. He's not fine. “Why did you do that anyway?”

“For fuck's sake, Race. You still don't get it, do you?”

“I need an explanation.” He retorted.

Atlas rolled his eyes.

They suddenly stop, Race roamed his eyes around and saw nothing but a bunch of trees.

“Let's go outside.” Atlas said, holding the food container and he followed the man outside—in the dark.

“What are you doing?” Race frowned deepen as Atlas fix the container at the back of his car.

“Picnic.”

“Yeah,” Race roamed his eyes again. “Picnic outside. Dark and cold nights. Trees surrounded us and it is soooo damn comforthing here, Atlas. Perhaps later, a wild animals eat us instead.”

“Duh, don't be afraid. I'm here and no one will eat you here, dummy.”

Atlas back being Atlas.

Always pissing him off.

He likes it.

“You didn't answer my question,” Race hopped at the hood of the car just like Atlas did.

Atlas snaps his head towards him, no trace of amusement in his eyes. “You really wanted to know?”

“Yeah.”

The man stared at him for a while before he exhale. “It is obvious that I like you very much, Race. I even confessed my feelings to you and got rejected—”

“I didn't.”

“So, basically, I'm mad at them because they're ruin my plan of celebrating the birthday of the man that I like.”

Race lips parted.

“Funny right? Me? Planning or a birthday party and wanted to surprise you? Nah, it's not my thing,” he looks away. “I didn't do this things, Race. I'm not found of birthdays but for you? I fucking learn how to cook! I burned myself because of my failed cooked! I almost burned the house down just to know how to cook because that friend of your who names Bridgette defy me the other day. She said she'll cook you because it is the tradition and she asked me what will I do in your birthday and I am damn pissed off because of that girl. So, here I am, I watched tutorial in youtube and finally, I perfect my cook—I mean not so perfect but it pass in my taste. I finally made it and it looks like a food to me after a weeks of learning!

You did that to me, eh? I fucking learned how to cook for you. I shouldn't do it because you didn't even care for it. Bridgette already cooked for you and I'll guess that you already ate her cook and you praise her for being a good cook. But, damn hell. I won't back out. I don't care if you like her more than me. Just fucking eat this and let's enjoy the night. It's your birthday and we shouldn't talk about this. But what happened earlier is not find with me. August puffing his smoke to your face? No tolerance. You don't like smoke. You hate it and I think it is bad to your health and I care for your fucking health, Race. That's it. Did I satisfy you with my heart warming confession?”

Atlas curse and laughed.

Race couldn't talk again. He's taken aback after hearing this. Atlas always makes him speechless. It's so familiar. Him being so stunned after Atlas talked. Atlas always cuts his tongue out and chase his words away.

“Don't tell me you'll reject me again?” Atlas laughed and saw a pain in his eyes before it disappear. “Let's not talk about it. Let's eat—”

“Are you asking me out?” Race said, looking at Atlas.

“Me asking you out?” Atlas laughed again, awkward this time. Atlas brushed his hair and even in the dark, Race saw a red in Atlas's cheek bone. “Am I that so obvious?” He added, almost a whisper.

“Uh-huh.” Race nodded surpassing a smirk.

Wow. Atlas asking him out.

“Don't laugh at me, I'm still pissed.” Atlas rolled his eyes. “Let's eat.”

And they eat in silence and Race didn't want this night to end.

Later on, Atlas grab something at his pocket and shove a keychain to his hands.

It's not just an ordinary keychain. It's a crochet keychain and it looks like him.

“Don't tell me you did this too?”

“I tried. It looks so horribly cute.” Atlas can't meet his eyes.

Race can't help it but smile.

“Let's visit my mother tomorrow.” He said.


                        * * *

Atlas can see it in Race face that he's terrified over something. They are now at the cemetery, after their class they drove here.

“She died when she gave birth to me. She didn't make it, her heart gave up.” He said.

Atlas couldn't take off his eyes away from Race.

Last night was a dream come true for Atlas. Race didn't rejected him but ask him to go with him at his mother grave.

It's a good thing. Race is letting him in in his life. They getting better and everything feels better.

Atlas look down at the keychain at Race's bag.

It's not perfect. It looks horrible but he did all his best to made this. Even it's not perfect, Race accepted it and ate the food he cooked and even praise him for being a good cook.

Atlas smiled. He can't hide his smile anymore.

This man makes him happy.

“But...my dad, he found his true love...”

Atlas back to reality.

Found his true love...and that is the Servantes.

But Race didn't finish the sentence, it's like he's timid to said it.

His daddy found his true love and it is a man and Race being shy of saying it because Race thinks he'll disgusted.

Atlas already knows that his daddy married a man. And their nothing to be ashamed of.

“You'll be stun after you saw my parents and after you see them,” Race said as they walk silently inside Race house.

“No way. I think...I'm going to like them.” He whispers even though his heart is drumming so hard.

Atlas darted his eyes at the girl sitting in the couch, who look stunned seeing him here.

Bridgette is here.

“Dad, Pa,”

Atlas look at the couple who hug Race.

Atlas inhale before he step in.

“Atlas, my best friend.”

Atlas smiled so lovely and offer his hand at Race's parent.

“Sir, I like your son.”