EXCHANGE OF HEARTS [BL]

KABANATA 09

“Are you sure you're okay?” His father asked him, worried.

“You know, we won't force to go to school if you still—”

“Dad, I'm fine,” he said, assuringly. “Papa told me that I'm fine.” Race glanced at his Papa Hades.

Tinapunan ng masamang tingin ni Isaiah si Hades.

Hades just shrugged his shoulder. “Don't worry about our son. Four days din naman siyang nag papahinga, eh. And besides wala naman na siyang nararamdaman ngayon.”

He mouthed to his Papa, ‘Thank you, Pa.’

And Hades mouthed back, ‘no worries, son.’

At the end, Isaiah sighed in defeated. He narrowed his eyes towards his son and said, “just take care, 'kay? Kung may nararamdaman ka tumawag ka sa akin.”

“Yeah, sure. I will, dad.”

Hades clapped his hands together. “Alright! Let's discuss today about the upcoming event at Russo's Mansion?”

Kumunot ang noo ni Race at napatigil sa kaniyang pagkain. Kunot noo niyang binalingan ang kaniyang mga magulang.

“Event? What kind of event?”

“It's a party, son,” Isaiah said, “and we are invited.”

Race didn't talk, he wait his father to continue talking because he can sense that there's a ‘but’ in his father's sentence.

“But, you won't come with us.”

“When?” Tanong niya ulit at bumalik sa pagkain.

“29th of July,” his Papa response for his Daddy Isaiah. “This week na 'yon.”

“It's on saturday, right?” Race poke the veggies.

The two man nodded in unison.

“I don't want you to come with us, son. It's dangerous for you, okay?”

Binalingan niya si Isaiah. “How?”

Tumitig si Isaiah sa kaniya na para bang nagpo-proseso ito ng sagot.

“It's crowded, Race—”

“But, I wanna come with you.” He cuts Isaiah off.

Umawang ang labi ni Isaiah at bumaling kay Hades na busy sa pagkain. Isaiah poke at him to grab Hades attention.

“What?” Hades hissed and Race can see it that his father is stealing a glance at him.

Race stop eating and cross his shoulder against his chest.

Nakita ni Race na nilakihan ng mata ni Isaiah si Hades na para bang nag-uusap ang dalawa gamit ang mga mata.

Pagkatapos no'n ay tumikhim si Hades at bumaling sa kaniya.

He stared at his Papa Hades, silently praying na papayag ito na sumama siya sa party ng mga Russo ngayong biyernes ng gabi.

“He can come with us, babe—”

“What?! No—”

“I don't want to cage him here, okay? Our son is not a prisoner, let him to explore, okay? He's not our little Race anymore.”

He suppress a smile.

God. Thanks, Papa. I really love you.

He thinks that Hades can read his mind because Hades winks at him.

“I didn't say that my son is a prisoner of my own house, Hades,”

Hades pouted. “You didn't call me babe.”

Oh, shit. Andiyan na naman po sila.

“You know, Hades, I am just worried about my son, okay? I don't want to risk it. It's all about his condition—”

“Our son, babe. Our.” Hades corrected Isaiah.

Tumikhim si Race para maputol ang tensyon ng dalawa niyang ama. Hindi naman siya nag-aalala kapag may pinag-aawayan ang dalawa dahil agad-agad din naman itong magkaka ayos.

“Dad,” he faces his father. “I wanna come with you and Papa Hades. I won't drink, I won't smoke and I won't engage in a dangerous situation.” He said, promising.

Nababagot na kasi talaga siya sa kanilang bahay lalo na noong umabsent siya ng dalawang araw pero para sa kaniya ay buwan na 'yon. Nababagot na siya sa bahay, palagi na lang siyang nakatambay sa kaniyang kuwarto.

He wanted to go out, gusto niyang makita pa ang ibang bahagi ng pilipinas at higit sa lahat ay gusto niyang makita ang kaniyang mga magulang kung paano ito makikipag usap sa mga businessman na tulad nila.

He already saw his parents talking to some tycoons and he's really impress of what he saw.

Naninibago siya noong sinama siya ni Isaiah sa isang Gala at napanood niya kung paano magseryoso ang kaniyang ama sa harap ng mga businessman. Maliban na lang sa kaniyang isang ama na si Hades dahil ngumingiti ito minsan pero kagaya ni Isaiah ay halos seryoso ito kung makapag usap.

Noong una ngang nakita niya na gano'n ang mga magulang niya ay hindi niya matanggal ang kaniyang mga mata sa magulang niya dahil sa kaniyang pagkamangha.

He wanted to be like them—a successful businessman in the world.

“I know you won't,” Isaiah sighed again in defeated. “Fine. You can come with us, pero hindi tayo magtatagal doon. Uuwi kaagad tayo.”

He smiled and nodded and Hades musses his hair.

“Pick some beautiful tux, son. Maraming chix doon na anak ng mga businessman. Makakapili ka roon, baka hindi mo alam na roon mo pala makikita ang soulmate mo.” Hades gris widely and winks at him.

Race just shakes his head and continued eating and after that his Papa drove him to school.

“I am really serious about what I said at home,”

Race rolled his eyes. “Dad, I don't need to impress the girls,” he said.

“What? Why? Kailangan mong magpaguwapo sa harap nila! Malay mo tatamaan ka ni kupido baka naroon pala ang true love mo.”

Race laugh and shakes his head. He thinks his papa is crazy and in love bastard who believe in cupid's arrow.

“I don't need to impress the girls, Pa. I am already handsome and I can make the girls droll without clothing to much.”

Hindi makapaniwalang napalingon sa kaniyang si Hades na nakaawang ang bibig.

“Son, you're being cocky,” smile appears in Hades lips. “You're learning, huh.”

Umiling na lang si Race at binuksan ang pintuan.

He learned that from the best—from Atlas.

“Are you going to walk after school or do you need your driver to drive you home?” Tanong ni Hades bago siya makalayo.

“I'll walk.”

Tumitig si Hades sa kaniya nang ilang sandali bago ito tumango.

“I am worried for you too, son,”

Race stared at his father—the man who accepted his Father Isaiah and him.

He nodded. “I'm fine...nothing to worry about.”

Hades nods his head and wave his hands. “Take care, send my regards to Bridgette.” Hades winks.

“Ugh, Pa. Bridge is my classmate, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he rocks his head. “But you two is perfect for each other."

Race can't help it but to rolled his eyes. His father is being a cupid again. Kanina lang ay iba ang babaeng pinu-push nito sa kaniya tapos ngayon ay si Bridge na naman.

“I can't remember how many girl you paired with me and said we are perfect for each other, but end up nothing happened.” He cocks his brow towards his father.

“Cupid is not perfect,"

“Yeah.”

Hades grins at him and lastly he drove back to their company.

Pumasok na si Race sa university pero sa kalagitnaan ng kaniyang paglalakad sa hallway ay nakita niya si Atlas na nakikipag-usap sa mga babae.

Kumunot ang noo ni Race dahil sa pagtataka.

Why he's here?

Ilang araw ding hindi niya ito nakita, huli niyang nakita si Atlas ay noong sumama ito sa kaniya sa library and that awkward moment happened.

I'm not surprise if he stay away from me after that.

Mariing hinawakan ni Race ang strap ng bag niya at tumalikod na para dumaan sa ibang daan na hindi makikisalamuha si Atlas.

He started walking but someone tap his shoulder. He almost lose his oxygen when he saw Atlas.

“Where are you going?” Kunot noong tanong ni Atlas sa kaniya, hindi pa rin binibitawan ang kaniyang balikat.

Okay. This is weird. His heart is acting weird again.

“Sa room ko, bakit?” Walang gana niyang sagot.

Bumaba ang mga mata ni Race sa ID na suot ni Atlas. Tumaas ang kilay niya nang mapagtantong ID ito ng university nila.

Nag-angat siya ng tingin kay Atlas. “You transferred?”

Malawak na ngumiti si Atlas sa kaniya. “Yes! I transferred, best friend!” Inakbayan siya ni Atlas.

God, bakit feeling close ang lalaking ito?

Atlas smile so wide. He wanted to touch it because he loves how Atlas smiled at him it's like it's Atlas's not real.

“Why?” Tanong niya at kinalas sa kaniyang balikat ang braso ni Atlas.

“Gusto kitang makita,”

Silent.

They both stare at each other. Both silent and processing Atlas's said.

Atlas blinks at him as if he doesn't know what he said and he regret saying it.

They are both silent for a moment.

And seconds later, Race's heart palpitate, he quickly avert his gaze and rub his chest.

What was that?

“I-I m-mean...” Atlas spoke, trying to find a word to say. “I mean—best friend tayo kaya...gusto kitang makita.” Atlas gulp and his eyes can't relax. “'Di ba gano'n naman ang mag best friend? G-Gustong makita ang isa't isa?”

Okay. He'll buy that explanation.

Race licks his lower lip before he gaze Atlas again that can't look at his eyes. It's like Atlas felt embarrassment after he said that.

“Bakit ka pala dito dumaan?” Tanong ni Atlas sa kaniya, halatang iniiwasan ang topic kanina.

Shrugging, Race said. “You're waiting for me to walk there,” he cocks a brow.

“The hell? Sino ka para hintayin?” Atlas asked and rolled his eyes.

“You're waiting for me, hmm I see. And you saw me, right? And you're waiting for me to approach you.” He concluded.

Mas lalong lumalim ang pagkunot ng noo ni Atlas sa kaniya. Nakatitig ito nang ilang minuto na para bang hindi ito makapaniwala sa mga sinasabi nito.

“Ano naman ngayon kung hinihintay nga kita?” Seryosong sabi ni Atlas na nagpagulat sa kaniya.

He just wanted to provoke Atlas and he didn't expect na ganito ang isasagot nito—umamin talaga.

“Umabset ka noong huwebes at biyernes kaya hindi kita nakita. Kasalanan ko bang na miss kita?”

The fuck.

He's stunned to speak. Race tries to find a word, he open his mouth but he close it again when he can't find a word to response.

He can't talk as if his tongue got cut off his mouth.

Nakangiting inakbaya siya ni Atlas. “Na miss kita, best friend!”

Inikot ni Race ang kaniyang mata at tinanggal ang braso ni Atlas na nakaakbay sa kaniyang balikat.

“Stay away from me,”

He mean that. He really wanted Atlas to stay away from him because his body is acting weird whenever Atlas is around.

Just like today, his heart palpitate as if his heart want to get out from his ribcage.

He doesn't know why his body acting weird. He only felt this when Atlas's near.

“You want me to stay away from you?” Kunot noong tanong ni Atlas at humakbang palapit sa kaniya. “Did you meant that?”

“Yes,” he answer without breathing. “I want you to stay away from me.”

He step aback but Atlas grab his hand.

His heart palpitate again and again. His heart is throbbing inside his ear. He only hear his heart beating so fast and Atlas's warm hands on him.

He quickly steal his hand from Atlas.

Atlas eyes narrowed at him before Atlas look at his hand clenching besides him.

“You feel it too,” Atlas said, still looking at Race's hands.

Kumunot ang noo niya. “Feel what?”

He clench and unclench is hands.

Bumalik ang mga mata ni Atla sa mga mata niya at mariin siyang tinitigan. Wala man lang ngiti sa labi ni Atlas.

“You feel electricity when I touch you,”

What?

Does it mean Atlas feels electricity whenever he touch me?

“No,” he said, look at his own hand. “I didn't feel what you feel.”

But hi heart palpitate and his body goes warms and acting weird whenever their skin touch.

“What?” Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Atlas. “You didn't feel it?”

Umiling siya at ilang sandali pa ay hinawakan ni Atlas ang kaniyang kamay at mariing tumitig sa kaniya.

“This, you didn't feel anything?”

Race blinks at him. He stared at their hands.

Nandiyan na naman ang kakaiba niyang nararamdaman sa kaniyang katawan dahil magkahawak sila ng kamay ngayon.

Pakiramdam niya ay nasa kaniyang tenga lang ang kaniyang puso dahil sa malakas na kalabog nito.

“What do you feel?” Atlas really stared at him, waiting for him to answer. “Tell me what do you feel, Race. Can you feel it too? Your heart throb in your ribcage, the electricity and all the weird feelings you just feel whenever we touch.”

Yes.

He said in his mind.

He felt all that. And only Atlas made him feel this way. This is strange and he's not dumb. He knows this kind of feeling. He's not dumb, he knows what is this.

I feel it all, but I won't tell you.

“No.” Sagot niya at pinipilit na wala siyang pakealam.

Kumunot ang noo ni Atlas at nagbaba ng tingin sa kamay nilang magkahawak at ilang sandali pa ay dahan-dahan itonh binitawan ni Atlas.

He saw Atlas gulp and shakes his head.

“So, it's just one-sided?” Atlas asked more to himself.

Race didn't answer nor speak. He's afraid that he might take back what he said after he saw pain in Atlas eyes.

Iniwas ni Race ang kaniyang tingin. “I'll have to go, may klase pa ako,” aniya pero hindi siya umalis, kahit tumango na si Atlas ay hindi pa rin siya umaalis dahil hinintay niya itong magsalita.

“Hindi ka sasabay sa akin?” He finally asked Atlas.

Umiling si Atlas at tinuro ang ibang direksyon.

“Doon ang una kong klase,” walang gana ang boses ni Atlas.

Parang gusto tuloy bawiin ni Race ang sinabi niya kanina dahil ayaw niyang ganito ang pakikitungo ni Atlas sa kaniya. Ayaw niya sa tahimik na Atlas dahil sanay siya na palangiti ito at palagi siyang iniinis pero ayaw naman niyang umamin sa nararamdaman nito dahil hindi rin naman siya sigurado kung totoo nga ba itong nararamdaman niya. Ayaw niya ring malaman ni Atlas ang nararamdaman niya dahil baka iba pala ang nararamdaman nito sa kaniya.

At last, Race nodded. “Okay,” a pause. “See you later, Atlas.” And he walk away with so much questions in his mind.


                       * * *

At least it's not ‘see you never, Atlas’.

Atlas said to himself.

He stared Race back until he can't see Race anymore.

He sighed and rub his chest because he feels a hole in his chest.

Race said ‘see you later, Atlas’ and not ‘see you never, Atlas’.

It's a good news, Race said he'll see me later which means he wanted to see me which means he's into me which means he's interested on me.

I knew it but Race's afraid to admit it. Race hate to admit it.

Atlas shrug his broad shoulder and walk to the opposite direction.

I know he's lying. Race felt it too! I knew it! When I touch his hands he steals it away as if his hand set on fire, as is his hand burn from my touch.

He said to himself.

Pumasok siya sa kaniyang unang klase at naupo sa pinakalikoran ng room habang iniisip pa ang nangyari kanina at nag-iisip ng mga hipotismo sa mga nangyari.

Hindi nga niya inaasahan na lilipat siya sa paaralan ni Race dahil gusto lang niya itong makita dahil namiss na niya ito.

I missed provoking him and his face goes scarlet when he's angry and provoked that's all.

Kahit nagsisimula na ang kaniyang klase ay hindi pa rin niya mawala sa kaniyang isipan si Race at ang malambot nitong kamay nang hawakan niya ito.

Sa ilalim ng kaniyang lamesa ay pinakatitigan niya ang kaniyang dalawang palad at sa kaniyang isipan ay ang magkahawak nilang kamay ni Atlas.

He admit it that he still want to hold Race hands for long. He loves holding Race hands, he's addicted to it and how it feels when their hand touch and fingers intertwine.

He shook his head, trying to shake Race away from his mind.

Race is like a ghost haunting in his mind.

He prayed that Race feels that same too. He hope that Race can't concentrate in the middle his professor discussing because of thinking of him.

He prayed that Race is thinking of him because he's thinking of Race right now.

Nang matapos ang kaniyang ikalawang klase ay lumabas na siya sa room at kinuha ang kaniyang cellphone sa bulsa ng kaniyang pants.

He read Sebastian text.

Sebastian: We have a training today.

Sebastian: don't be late.

Sebastian: i know you want to see your crush but focus with our mission too.

Sebastian: you're thinking of his right now. I knew it and you want to be with him for a long time but come here now. We'll having a meeting.

Sebastian: it's an urgent meeting. Be there.

Inikot ni Atlas ang kaniyang mata matapos ang sunod-sunod na mabasa ang text ni Sebastian sa kaniya.

Atlas: I can't.

Ibabalik na sana niya ang kaniyang cellphone sa bulsa nang tumunog ito.

Fast replier. He thought.

Sebastian: they are expecting you here, moron!

Atlas: I still have a class.

Sebastian: ditch it.

Atlas: I can't. I am a good student now and good student don't ditch at his class.

Sebastian reply is instantaneous.

Sebastian: don't fuck with me, dickhead! I know you transferred university because you wanted to see him all day because you like him.

Sebastian: come here now or I'll make James to track your crush...

Kumunot ang noo ni Atlas sa kaniyang nabasa at sa ellipses sa huli ibig sabihin ay idudugtong pa ito.

Atlas: I'll kill you before you do that.

Atlas: and he's not my crush.

Sebastian reply is instantaneous.

Sebastian: then attend the meeting and the training.

Sebastian: come here now. The transaction is near and we need to focus. Puwede mo na siyang landiin kapag tapos na tayo rito. He's all yours.

Atlas rolled his eyes at the phone and shove it back to his pants's pocket.

His body tells him to see Race.

Hindi pa siya nakaalis sa kaniyang kinatatayuan ay bigla na naman siyang tinext ni Sebastian.

Sebastian: don't you dare to think that you won't come today. I'll kill you myself if won't come and when they found out why you didn't come they'll kill your crush because they'll think that he's a hindrance. So come here before they'll find out, Atlas. This is not a threat. It's a warning for you.

Halos umakyat sa kaniyang utak ang kaniyang dugo sa nabasa niya. His grip tightens around his cellphone. Nanginginig ang kaniyang kamay habang mariing nakatitig sa kaniyang cellphone.

His eyes were bloodshot and he wanted to pull his trigger towards Sebastian.

His veins in his arms's showing because of his tight grips in his cellphone.

Kinalma niya ang kaniyang sarili. His chest heaved as he breathe slowly and squeeze his eyes tightly.

He's debating with himself if he come or not, but Sebastian is right. When The Underground find outs that he's busy with someone even if Race is not his lover they'll kill Race because they'll think Race is Atlas hindrance to his work and slowing down the mission.

He's not shock anymore that most of people who work at The Underground doesn't have lovers because The Underground kills whoever the hindrance. The Underground slaughter the people who's the reason of slowing down the mission. Most of people woking at The Underground was afraid to commit in love, they are terrified because The Underground might kill the people they love.

Some are doesn't have a time for love. Ang iba sa kanila ay tinutuon na lang sa trabaho ang atensyon at kinalimutan na lang ang pag-ibig dahil kahit naman na umibig sila ay papatayin pa rin ito ng Underground kung malalaman nitong may kahinaan ka at may humaharang sa mga ginagawa mo.

If you are working at The Underground you are commiting to it. They vows to work at The Underground.

But Race is not a hindrance for Atlas. He will never be. And even Race is not his lover but he'll protect the man he first trust aside his friends.

Kahit nga ang tatlong kaibigan niya ay matagal bago niya ito tuloyang pinagkatiwalaan pero si Race ay ilang araw pa lang niya itong nakilala ay nagtitiwala na siya rito.

Mabilis na nagtipa si Atlas sa kaniyang cellphone.

Atlas: Hey, best friend! I will not be able to lunch with you today. I have something to attend. I have a training today.

Race reply is instantaneous.

Race: You told me that the other time that you have training to attend. What kind of training?

A smile appears in his lips.

Atlas: You are asking. Are you interested on me now?

He really loves provoking Race. He can imagine Race's face goes scarlet because he's mad.

But minutes later he didn't receive reply from Race.

He frown and type for his message.

Atlas: just kidding.

Atlas: I can't tell you what's my training. It's not I can't tell you but you don't have to know.

Why he's explaining?

He doesn't know either.

He just found his self typing for another message.

Atlas: Tomorrow, let's lunch together.

Atlas: best friend lunch together, right?

Atlas: Tomorrow, okay? Don't forget or I'll kick your ass!

He stared at his message and he found out how many message he sent straight.

Napabuntong hininga na lang siya.

Tumunog ang cellphone niya at nakatanggap siya ng message. Hindi man lang tumalon ang puso niya sa tuwa dahil hindi galing kay Race ang message kundi kay Sebastian.

Sebastian: we'll start any minutes now. Be here NOW. Your family is here and they are looking for you.

Sebastian: NOW.

He sighed and shoved his cellphone back to his pocket and drove to The Underground.