EXCHANGE OF HEARTS [BL]

KABANATA 24

Everyone was silent.

They are all seated in the dinning table, food are served and they eat in silence.

Atlas can feel the Race's nervousness beside him. Mr. Servantes and Mr. Montevero seated opposite to them and Bridgette seated beside Race.

Atlas hate it, but he didn't show it.

Race is nervous. His hands are trembling. Atlas wants to hold it to keep it calm but even him, his hands are trembling under the table.

He shouldn't trembling. He shouldn't feel fear. He goes to battle, he saw people die—he even killed people. He saw pool of blood from the people. He fought and he almost killed on time in his mission years ago but he didn't feel any fear. His hands didn't trembled and he didn't feel nervous going to a battle.

But this? Race parents watching him eat and their eyes are intent. Atlas hardly swallowed the food because he thinks that his every move the Servantes and Monteverde watched him, perhaps they are finding a flaws or mistakes to kick him out of this house.

After of his confession in front of Race's parents, everyone went silent. Atlas thought that everyone turned into stone because they all freeze even Race, watching him with eyes wide open and parted lips.

That time Atlas thought that Race perhaps want to punch him and kick him out.

He didn't regret it though, he thought that it is the best thing to do. There's nothing to hide and maybe today or maybe yesterday, Atlas felt something changed.

After the long moment of silent Hades cleared his throat and laughed awkwardly and told them it's time for dinner.

Although, it's early to eat dinner. It's five in the afternoon.

Suddenly Mr. Monteverde spoke. “Did you know this, Race?”

Race flinched and looked at his father. “Know what?”

“That—” Isaiah pointed his thumb towards Atlas. “That boy likes you?” He asked.

Atlas brow rose.

Boy?

“Um,” he can feel Race glancing at him before he answered. “Y-Yes...he confessed,”

“Two times,” Atlas added, looking directly at Isaiah's eyes. Atlas seems not frighten but deep inside he's shaking. “And today. It makes three times.”

Deep inside he quivered, he's fighting the urge to avert his gaze. He can't meet Race's parents' eyes.

Deep inside he's terrified that Race's parents' might see something inside him. He's terrified that they will find the secrets he kept from his son and to them.

It's his biggest fear it that they'll find out who truly he is. But Atlas know that sooner or maybe later Race's parents' will drag him out of here when they know his name.

He also fear the thought of Race's parents' don't like him for their son. Specially when they find out his secrets.

“Name?”

And his heart just went out from his rib cage.

This is what he fear.

They will hate him after they'll know what is his name.

Atlas swallowed the fear, he keep his cool and didn't show any weaknesses.

“Atlas...” He hesitated. “Atlas Zubiaga, Sir.” He didn't looked away, he fight the stare and fight his own fear.

Mr. Monteverde stared at him, brow rose and he tilted his head.

Atlas breath becomes heavy, heart pounds so loud and fast.

“Family background?” Isaiah added.

He swallowed again. He can feel his sweat streaming down his face and feel the sweat in his palm. He rubbed it in his pants and shakes his hand to lose the tension.

“My family run a business,” he responded.

It is true. His parents run a business but it is not just like what they are thinking.

His parents run an illegal business. They didn't do legal transactions but they do it illegal. The government didn't knows it.

“What kind of business?”

Isaiah asked more.

“Perhaps let's go to living room and continue out little chit chat there, babe?” Hades interrupted and Atlas was very thankful.

Hades always saved him.

“Sure.” Mr. Monteverde wipes his hands with the tissue and stood up. Hades and Isaiah go first before the three of them followed.

“Sorry,” Race fell a step beside him. “Are you okay?” He asked.

He smiled and nodded. “Didn't know that you cared for me,” he smiled wickedly.

“You looked scared.”

“Scared? Not in my vocabulary,” he shook his head and looked straight. “What's that by the way?”

“You're trembling,”

“Maybe your house is cold?”

“The cooler was turned on,”

“Not enough maybe. It's too cold for me.”

“You flinched when daddy asked about your name, you hesitated.”

That made him stop and he blinks his eyes. “I didn't—”

“Stop denying. You're scared.”

Atlas sighed. “I can handle myself.” He said before he followed the couple.

Umupo si Atlas sa katapat na upuan ni Mr. Servantes at Mr. Monteverde. May hawak-hawak na chess si Hades, siguro may balak siyang makipag laro kay Atlas pero sa hindi mapalagay si Atlas sa kinauupuan niya. Para siyang nag-aalab sa kaniyang upuan, hindi niya alam kung ang upuan nga ba niya ang nag-aalab o dahil grabe kung tumitig si Isaiah sa kaniya na para bang kinikilatis talaga siya at binabantay ang bawat galaw niya.

He won't back out. Hindi siya nagpatalo sa mga nakakatakot na titig ni Isaiah, nilabanan niya ito sa titigan.

Isaiah squirted his eyes and tilted his head.

“Babe, kung hindi lang niya inamin na gusto niya si Race baka inisip ko na may gusto kayo sa isa't isa,” Hades pouted.

Dahil sa pagsingit ni Hades ay naputol ang titigan nilang dalawa. He felt Race seat beside him and Bridgette beside Race.

Nagpipigil na naman si Atlas na pumagitna sa dalawa. Ayaw niya talagang nakikitang nakadikit si Bridgette kay Race. Kumukulo ang dugo niya. Sa madaling salita. He's jealous.

He didn't forgot when Bridgette defy him. Naiinis pa rin si Atlas kapag naaalala niya ang pangisi ni Bridgette nang hindi niya alam kung kailan ang birthday ni Race, para bang ngiting tagumpay ang pinakita ni Bridgette sa kaniya.

Atlas looked at the couple, they talked silently and then Isaiah looked at him again.

Atlas prefer Isaiah's talking to his lover. Nawawala kasi ang nakakatakot nitong mga mata na kapag tumititig sa kaniya. Isaiah's soft when it comes to his lover and his son, so Atlas understand why Isaiah acted like this, staring at him like a cat.

“Are you dating my son?” Isaiah asked.

Race coughed beside him and Bridgette made a noise.

“N-No, dad—”

“Yes, Sir. I asked him out yesterday. I thought he'll reject him but instead he invited me here to meet you. We even visited his mother.” Atlas said confidently, he wanted to smirk when he saw Isaiah frowned.

“So you two are dating?”

Before he can respond, Race interrupted.

“Not official.”

He snaps his head towards Race. Looking at him questionably. “What do you mean ‘not official’?”

“I'm still confused, Atlas. All of this stunned me. I don't know what I feel about you. I didn't know. I'm a man perhaps that's why I'm still confused.”

Kumunot ang noo ni Atla at buong katawan na niya ang hinarap kay Race.

“You're still confused if you're a gay or not?” Diretsahang tanong ni Atlas.

“I'm attractive both gender. I like girl and I like boy—”

“No way! You can't like both at the same time—” he panicked.

“Silly! You know what I mean, Atlas.” Race blow a breathe.

“I don't know what you mean,”

He desperate to know.

“Why are you sooooo confused?” He added.

“What if this is not what I felt? What if it will disappear. What if what I felt to you is wrong?”

Atlas made a face. “For fuck's sake, Race. I don't care about your what if's. All I wanted to know what did you feel about me.” He cupped Race's face.

Suddenly, he forgot that three pair of eyes are watching at then silently. But him and Race forgot about the audience.

“Tell me what did you feel,” Atlas voice become soft, he stared at Race like he's a diamond and he held Race like a glass, afraid to broke it.

“My mind said I like you—”

“That's it!” Atlas exclaimed. He can't help but smirk. “You like me and I like you so much. Who cares if we both have penis? We likes each other and I'm asking you out and I'll make this as official.” The smirk in Atlas's face didn't disappeared as he stared at Race's eyes.

“We're dating...and it's official.” He said.

They looked at each other eyes.

Para silang hinihigop sa isa't isa na naghihila sa kanila para maglapit silang dalawa. Parang may mga magnet sa katawan nilang dalawa at pareho silang nahihirapan na lumayo sa isa't isa.

Atlas's eyes drop at Race's lips and he swallowed as he stared at it. He can't help but lean closer. Heartbeat so fast and loud. He thinks that his heart is in his ear. Atlas heard nothing but only his heart beat for this man in front of him.

This man made his heart beat like this. This is not a normal heart rate. He thought that his heart might went out to his rib cage.

He's thinking about kissing Race, what would it feels to kiss Race? He wanted to taste the sweetness of Race. He wanted to devour Race's lips until he can't breathe.

Someone cleared a throat and suddenly, they both back to present. Race flinched and jerked. Atlas remove his hand immediately at Race's face and swallowed hard.

Fuck. I forgot.

“Don't think of eating my son, Mr. Zubiga,” Isaiah said in a cold and stone voice.

Fuck.

Atlas's cheek bones flushed. It went scarlet. If earlier, he can fight the intense stare of Race's father, but now he can't even lift his eyes. Nahihiya na siyang salubongin ang mga mata ng ama ni Race, kahit nga si Race sa gilid niya ay hindi rin makatingin sa kaniyang mga ama.

Nang nag-angat ng tingin si Atlas ay naabutan niyang nakatulala sa kaniya si Hades at nakabuka ang labi nito na para bang hindi siya makapaniwala sa kaniyang nakita kanina. And here's Isaiah, staring at his son with full of love and understanding.

Atlas realized that even if Isaiah doesn't like him for his son, but he still a father and he loves his son. He won't take the happiness that Race felt right now. And perhaps, he understand his son because he experienced this too.

“Zubiaga,” suddenly, Isaiah tore his gaze towards him. “Let's talk. Alone.” He added.

Atlas blinks three times, he looked at Hades who suddenly recovered from the shocked and looked at his lover.

“No way—”

“For God's sake, Hades. I'll talk with that boy. Alone. I'll not flirt with him,”

Neither I.

“Anong pag-uusapan ninyo?" Asked Hades, still curious.

“Something important—” Isaiah stood up and he followed with a hard swallowed.

“You'll toast the boy.”

“I don't care. If he'll back out then he's not deserving for our Race.” Isaiah started walking towards the dinner hall.

“Oh, boy. Isaiah will toast you with his questions.” Hades shook his head and Atlas realized.

Isaiah's not done asking him question about his family. He knows that Hades knows about his family he just didn't show it. On the other hand, Isaiah didn't pretended. He wanted to asked about him and his family for Race's sake.

Isaiah knows that Atlas is dangerous. His family is dangerous.

Ang dami tuloy pumapasok sa isipan ni Atlas dahil sa pag-uusap na ito.

What if hindi papayag si Isaiah na magdate sila ng anak niya?

What if pagbabantaan siya na layuan ang anak niya?

Kinalimutan na muna ni Atlas ang kaniyang mga iniisip at tinuon na muna niya ang kaniyang atensyon sa lalaking grabe kung makatingin sa kaniya na parang tinotosta na talaga siya.

Hades was right. Isaiah will toast him not just his question but he'll stare.

Sumandal si Atlas sa mesa na may kalayuan kay Isaiah.

“You're the Zubiaga's youngest children.” Isaiah started.

He didn't hesitated to nod his head. There's no point on lying. They already know him so what is the point of lying?

“You know the dangerous when you date my son.”

He nodded again. He's aware. That's is one he feared of. That's why he's protecting Race.

“Then why are you still here? You should go away, you are our enemy, Zubiaga. We both know that your family hates us and we both don't know what will they do if they find out that you're dating your enemy's son.” Isaiah was dead serious.

He's aware of that too. Matagal na niyang pinigilan ang kaniyang sarili at lumayo kay Race pero habang tumatagal ay tanging gusto na lang niya ay ang mapalapit sa binata.

“Besides you're still young, perhaps this is just your exploration. You're curious and perhaps...your feeling toward my son will disappear.”

Atlas respect this man but at what he just said? He lost the respect. He groaned.

“I truly respect you, Sir, but don't belittle my feelings toward your son,” he said. “I know you're worried about your son, I am too. I didn't know what to do if something bad happen to him. I tried, I really tried to stop this but can't. I kept on denying my feelings but it gone deep beyond my soul.” Atlas takes a deep breath and stared at the man who seat opposite to him, but the man didn't talk so he continue.

“I know the danger since I admitted to myself that I like your son. I know that when my family knows about this...they'll kill me or Race—but I won't let them take Race away from me. I-I...It's my first time to feel this way and it's a man. I'm confused too. I don't know what to do. I kept on denying because we both man and it's my first time to feel this toward a man.

My family warned me about this...they—they already suspected that I have someone special in my life because I am little bit distracted this past few months and they—t-they warned me to stay away if I don't...they'll kill him—but they didn't know that I like a man and not a girl. And then—” he gulped, sweat in his forehead. “I wanted to quit. I told them that I will quit because I don't want to do it anymore, I don't want to do this job anymore. I'm tired and...I won't put Race into danger because of me. I wanted to quit so I can have my peaceful life—”

“But even if you'll quit they'll still kill you and my son.” Isaiah interfered.

His voice is very dangerous, it also his stare. It brings cold to his body and Atlas feels the hair of his neck stood up.

“Yes,” he confessed. He looked at his feet. “I said I quit and then they suspected that it is because I have someone outside my work. They threatens me that if I quit they'll find the special one and make that person suffer. I'm...not afraid. I'm not terrified that they'll kill me and this job will kill me but since Race came and he stayed in my soul and makes my mind crazy, all I feared is that I'll lose him. I feared that one day he'll hate me if he find out what I did.”

Mariing pinikit ni Atlas ang kaniyang mata. He can feel his heart throb and he wanted to clutched it so hard because it hurt so bad. Masakit sa kaniya dahil kahit anong gawin niya ay wala siyang takas sa mga magulang niya. His parents are cruel, they'll do everything just to have the things they wanted.

If his parents wants someone to be kill and they'll do it because if they didn't his father will punish them to death.

Hindi lang din 'yan ang kinakatakuan ni Atlas. Sa oras na malaman ng pamilya niya na may relasyon siya sa anak ng kanilang kalaban ay paniguradong gagamitin ng pamilya niya si Race para patumbahin ang Monteverde at ang Servantes, dadating din ang araw na ipapatay ng mga magulang niya si Race and he knows he can't do that.

“I'll die if he die,” Atlas whispered just enough for Isaiah to heard.

Isaiah tsked. “You know that it won't happen. If my son die you'll live. It's just figurative right?”

“I gave my heart to your son the day that I admitted to myself that I like him. I gave my heart and if he'll die I'll die with him because my heart is with him.”

Isaiah stared at him for a moment.

“My son will not die. I will protect him—”

“We will.” Atlas cuts him off even if he don't like it.

But he's afraid that his family will find this. Napapansin niya ang taong sumusunod sa kaniya. Kahit hindi niya pinapahalata ay napapansin niyang sinusundan siya ng tauhan ng mga magulang niya. Paniguradong nakita na nilang nagsama si Atlas at Race and perhaps ni report na ito sa mga magulang niya. Hindi magtagal ay ipapatawag siya ng mga magulang niya para sa balitang ito at dapat handa na siya.

Hanggang sa kaya niya ay po-protektahan niya si Race. Kung kailangan niyang magsinungaling ay gagawin niya para maprotektahan si Race. He'll do everything to protect Race.

Lies will protect him and Race from danger.