EXCHANGE OF HEARTS [BL]

KABANATA 07

Atlas drove back to their house.

Wala sa bahay nila ang mga kapatid niya at ikinatutuwa 'yon ni Atlas.

Mabilis na pumasok si Atlas sa kaniyang kuwarto at tinawagan ang kaniyang personal doctor.

Binigay ng Underground ang personal doctor sa kaniya dahil may isang pagkakataon na nang mabaril si Atlas. Hindi naman niya inakala na magiging kaibigan niya ang kaniyang personal doctor.

“I have a problem,” pambungad niya sa kaniyang doctor.

“Doctor ako, Atlas. Hindi ako ang takbohan ng mga taong may problema.”

“Gano'n na nga!” Sigaw niya at itinapon ang sarili sa kama.

Mariin siyang pumikit, until now he still feels the strange feelings in his chest—in his heart.

Natatakot na siya sa kaniyang nararamdaman dahil kahit kailan ay ngayon pa lang niya ito nagfeel.

Kakaiba, para siyang kinakabahan na hindi, malakas din ang tibok ng puso niya.

“You are my doctor and I need you here now!” He demanded.

He squeeze his eyes so tight.

He breathe, try to calm his throbbing heart inside his ribcage.

“Okay, coming, boss.”

He rolled his eyes as he hung up the call.

Habang hinihintay ang kaniyang doctor ay ang tanging ginawa lang niya ay ang tumitig sa kesame na para bang naroon ang sagot sa kaniyang mga tanong.

Naka on naman ang air con pero pinagpapawisan siya at kinakabahan.

This is not right!

Naramdaman na lang niya ito nang halos ilang dangkal na lang ang layo sa kanila ni Race at doon nagsimula ang hindi niya maipaliwanag na nararamdaman.

This is Race fault! He poison me! He poison my fucking heart! Maybe he did some incantation?

Dahil nainis na siya sa tagal ng kaniyang doctor ay tumayo siya at pumunta sa harap ng kaniyang computer at nag research tungkol sa kaniyang nararamdaman niya ngayon.

Pero nagulat siya sa kaniyang nabasa. Isang sakit na hindi niya matanggap. Lahat ng nararamdaman niya ay nasa sakit na kaniyang nabasa.

Napaupo siya sa kaniyang kama, tulala sa kawalan.

Ang nararamdaman niya ngayon ay walang kinalaman si Race.

“Hey, boss,”

He snap his head to his doctor.

“Rile,” huminga ng malalim si Atlas. Natatakot siya na baka totoong may sakit talaga siya. “I have a heart disease.”

His doctor stared at him. Stared and stared and look away while his fist in his mouth, trying to suppress a smile.

“What?! I am fucking serious, Rile!” Atlas exploded. Tumayo siya at lumapit kay Rile na pinigilang tumawa. “I research it! Nasa google! Ni-research ko kasi itong nararamdaman ko tapos lahat ng nararamdaman ko ay sintomas ng heart disease!”

Biglang tumahimik si Atlas at pumikit nang mariin. Huminga siya nang malalim at kinalma  ang sarili.

“Bawal ma-stress, Atlas. Bawal ma-stress. Aatakihin ka sa puso kapag ma-stress ka. Relax...” He said to his self.

“Relax...bawal ka ma-stress. Huwag kang sisigaw, aatakihin ka sa puso...” His chest heave, ang kaniyang kamay ay nagtaas baba na sumasabay sa kaniyang paghinga nang malalim.

“What the fuck are you doing, Atlas?” Nagtatakang tanong ni Rile, halos natatawa na.

“My heart disease ako! Mamamatay na ako, Rile! Mamamatay na ako! Mamamatay akong maaga at hindi ko makikita ang mga anak ko!”

Niyugyug niya si Rile then he try to calm his breath again.

Tinalikuran niya si Rile at naupo ulit sa dulo ng kaniyang kama.

“Relax, Atlas. Huwag kang ma-stress, hindi maganda 'yan sa puso.” Bulong niya sa kaniyang sarilo habang humihinga nang malalim.

Ang kaniyang doctor na nanonood sa kaniya ay napailing na lang dahil sa kinikilos ng kaniyang boss.

“Mamamatay ako. Mamamatay ako...noooo. Hindi puwede, kailangan kong makahanap ng donor—”

“Boss, wala kang heart disease—”

“Pero 'yong puso ko, Rile ang lakas ng tibok! Tumitibok!” Giit niya at kinalma ulit ang sarili. “Relax, Atlas. Breathe...huwag kang ma-stress—”

“Boss, buhay ka kaya tumitibok ang puso mo.” Umupo si Rile sa upuan na nasa harap ng computer. Tumaas ang kilay nito nang makita ang ni-research ni Atlas kanina tungkol sa nararamdaman niya.

“Rile, my heart disease ako. Ngayon ko lang 'to nararamdaman,” mahina niyang sabi.

Pumasok sa kaniyang utak ang nangyari kanina sa library, kasama si Race at nang maglapit ang mukha nila. Hindi niya kayang iiwas ang mga mata niya kay Race dahil gusto—he shook all this thoughts.

“Ano ba kasi ang nararamdaman mo?” Nakataas kilay na tanong ni Rile.

Pumikit ulit ng mariin si Atlas at pinakiramdaman ang kaniyang sarili. Inalala ulit niya ang nararamdaman niya kanina nang magtitigan sila ni Race at ilang dangkal na lang ang layo sa kanila.

“Pinagpapawisan ako tapos malakas at mabilis ang pagtibok ng puso ko na parang kinakabahan ako,”

“It doesn't mean na may heart disease ka.”

“I have a heart disease,” he hissed.

Rile brush his brow with his thumb. “What else did you feel? Are you with a person?”

Naagaw ni Rile ang atensyon ni Atlas sa huling tanong nito.

He's with Race earlier and when their eyes met, he felt this strange feelings in his heart and his body.

“Nangunguryente ba ang tao?” He asked, innocently.

“Nangunguryente?” Rile cocks an eyebrow. “I didn't hear that case.”

“I-I feel electricity in my body when...” His voice faded.

“Baka trabahante ka ng Miralco—”

He throw a death glare toward his doctor.

“I'm serious.”

“I'm serious, too, Atlas. Just tell me why did you feel electricity in your body? Maybe, I'll do some research and experiment to answer your question.”

He take a deep breathe.

Kung wala siyang sakit sa puso, bakit nararamdaman niya ito ngayon sa katawan niya? Isang hindi niya maipaliwanag na pakiramdam.

If I'm not sick, then it's all his fault! Race put this strange feelings in my body when we are too close!

Maybe, he did some incantation or witchcraft. I don't know what he did to me!

“What made you feel that?” Nanatili pa rin si Rile sa kaniyang kinauupuan.

“It's not what. It's who.”

Napanganga si Rile, ilang sandaling pagkatulala sa mukha ni Atlas hanggang sa napailing na lang ito na may bahid ng ngiti sa labi.

Hinarap ni Rile ang computer ni Atlas.

“What are you doing?” Kunot noong tanong ni Atlas.

“Do some research,”

He rolled his eyes. “I want you to check on me, asshole! Don't just research! Check on me, run a test! Even when you told me that I don't have a heart disease but let's check it! Test me! Run some test, fucking Rile!”

Atlas runs his fingers to his hair. He is damn sick worried to his health!

“You're not sick, asshole—”

“We don't know that!” Atlas exclaimed.

He wanted to kick Rile ass! He is fucking stress about his damn condition!

It's Race fault!

It's Race fault!

He made me feel this way!

I'll kick his ass tomorrow, that nerd!

Atlas tell himself to calm down.

You're not going to die. Relax, breathe and stay away from stress!

“Stop chanting like that!“ Suway ni Rile na nasa harapan pa rin ng computer, may binabasa na.

“Chanting what?!”

Rile snap his head toward Atlas who is now musses his hair.

“That fucking ‘you're not gonna die. You're not gonna die. Relax, relax…’ if you don't stop murmuring that I'll kill you myself!”

“I'll kill you first!” Atlas countered.

“Nye, nye, nye. I won't tell you the reason why you feel that. I'll let your disease kill you, fucker.”

He goes still and just stared at his friend slash his personal doctor.

“Disease?! I am sick?! Really sick?!”

Oh, God, noooo!

I'm not gonna die!

I'm not gonna die!

I'm not gonna die!

“Yes, you have a disease and this disease kills millions of people,”

Oh, God. Help me.

Not my heart.

Not my handsome face.

I'm not sick!

I don't want them to bury my dick six feet under earth!

Geez! The horror!

“Why are you so pale?” Rile laugh echoed to his room.

He just staring from nowhere, waiting for Rile to tell him what he found out in his research.

“I'm gonna die?” A dry question. “Like...like the millions of people die because of that disease?”

“Hell, yeah.”

“Oh, shit. What...how to prevent or cure this damn disease?”

“Dude, there's no cure.”

He now becomes more paler.

Rile laugh again after he saw Atlas reaction. Almost didn't breathe for air.

“Tell me...what's this disease? Is this become epidemic? You said—”

“It's ‘In love disease’.” Rile cuts him off.

He snap his head at Rile who is not back at the computer.

“What?! What the...fuck? In love?!”

He wanted to punch Rile and kill him and kick his ass so fucking hard!

This man is really pissing him off!

“It's not a disease!” He exploded and storm towards Rile and choke his friend.

“You make me worried for nothing! In love is not a disease, you motherfucker!” He hugged Rile's neck and rocks it back and forth.

“H-Hey!”

“I'll kill you! I'll kill you for making me worried for myself! I thought I only have 1 year lifespan left! I thought they'll gonna bury my cock six feet under because of my fucking ill! Asshole!”

“H-Hey!” Rile tries to catch his breathe. “Y-You...a-are...in—in love!”

Everything spin. His head spinning as he heard Rile.

His chest heave. Catches for his own breathe. He still want to kill Rile for making him worried and giving him false information.

“What? What do you mean?”

Inayos ni Rile ang kaniyang damit at huminga muna ng malalim.

“What you feel right not is not because you are sick or you have heart disease,” Rile stared at him. Chest heaving too. “You like that person, okay? Sabi mo kanina ay para kang nakukuryente and I asked you what made you feel that and you said who. It's mean, it's a person who made you feel that way. Maybe, nagdikit ang katawan ninyo at dahil may gusto sa kaniya o kaya naman ay na-a-attract ka sa kaniya kaya naramdaman mong parang may kuryente. It's your body responding in what your mind tells. In short you like or love that person or you just starting to like that person.

You said earlier too that your heart throb faster and louder, not all people feels that has a heart disease some have in love disease. It occurs when you are near to the person you love or to the person you like. Your heart won't function normally because heart will beat faster when you are nervous or happy or timid or sad round that person you like. I said millions of people die due to this disease because some of them, their lovers die, or the person they love didn't reciprocate their feelings and that's made their heart die because of the broken heart. What you feel right now is normal, everyone feels the same, you have nothing to worry about.”

Atlas becomes wordless. He can't find word to response. He becomes stiff as statue.

He tries to process Rile's word.

All that.

The nervousness he feels when Race around.

The happiness, the sadness, the excitement, he feels this all because of Race.

No.

It can't be.

No. Not gonna happen.

“It's not a problem, okay? Don't worry about it, there's nothing to worry about, okay? If you truly like or love that girl then pursue her.”

His eyes narrowed. “That's the problem,” he said staring on the  wall. “It's not a girl.”