EXCHANGE OF HEARTS [BL]

KABANATA 08

Early Friday morning, nasa labas na ng campos kung saan nag-aaral si Race.

Kahapon halos hindi siya lumalabas sa kaniyang kuwarto dahil hindi pa rin niya matanggap ang kaniyang narinig sa kaniyang personal doctor.

He keep telling himself that ‘he's not in love’, what he feels when he's near Race is just nothing or maybe a symptoms of heart disease.

Mas paniniwalaan pa niyang may heart disease siya kaysa sa in love siya kay Race.

Race is just his friend!

Hindi siya naniniwalang in love siya, hindi naman siguro lahat ng tao na kinakabahan o kaya bumibilis ang tibok ng puso kapag malapit sa isang tao ay in love kaagad. Maybe may iba pang rason?

There's another reason why he feels that whenever Race is around.

He'll find that.

He'll prove that he's not fucking in love with Race. There's no way he's in love with Race!

“Hey,” a girl approached him, it's Bridgette, Race crush.

Fucking crush.

“You're Atlas right?”

“Yes.” He retorted

“You're friend with Race right?”

So many questions. Atlas tried not to roll his eyes.

Wala namang ginagawa ang babae sa kaniya, nagtatanong lang naman pero naiinis siya sa babae lalo na no'ng binanggit nito ang pangalan ni Race.

“Best friend.” He corrected.

Ngumiti si Bridgette. She's pretty, and Race told him that Bridgette is smart that's why Race adore this girl.

But I'm smarter than her.

“Did you...saw him? Or nagkausap ba kayo kahapon?”

Hindi mapigilang kumunot ang noo ni Atlas.

“Why?”

Inayos ng babae ang kaniyang libro. “Hindi kasi siya pumasok kahapon, eh. Nag-aalala ako na baka hanggang ngayon ay hindi siya papasok.”

Bakit ka mag-aalala? Huwag kang mag-alala. Sinong nagsabi na mag-aalala ka kay Race? Girlfriend ka ba niya?

Atlas brush away his thought.

“Hindi siya pumasok?” He repeated.

Bridgette nodded. “Yes. Although hindi naman ito ang unang beses na nag-absent siya,”

“Mahilig siyang umabsent?” Gulat na tanong ni Atlas.

Wow, ah. Mahilig pala mag absent ang isang good student.

“Hindi naman siya palaging uma-absent, may mga panahon lang talaga na uma-absent siya, minsan isang linggo siyang nawawala tapos minsan naman ay apat o tatlong araw siyang absent.”

Now he's worried.

I have the right to be worried about his well-being. I'm his best friend after all!

“Hindi naman kasi 'yong tipo na uma-absent, eh. Kaya nag-aalala ako sa kaniya, malapit na kasi 'yong exam namin, eh.”

Ngumiwi siya sa babae. Palagi na lang kasing sinasabi ng babae na nag-aalala siya kay Race, eh siya naman ay nainis.

“Alam mo ba kung saan siya nakatira?” He asked.

“No one knows, hindi kasi siya 'yong tao na mahilig magkuwento tsaka napaka misteryoso ni Race.”

Tumango siya bilang pagsang-ayon. Tama naman si Bridge, napaka misteryoso naman talaga ni Race.

“Gusto ka niya,” aniya, sinadya niya talagang sabihin 'yon kay Bridge para makita ang reaksyon nito kahit ayaw naman talaga niyang sabihin dahil naiinis siya.

Pero ngumiti lang si Bridgette. “Kung gusto niya ako baka matagal na niya akong niligawan, pero hindi, eh. Kaya napaka hirap paniwalaan na gusto niya ako.”

Tumango-tango lang si Atlas.

Smiling, Bridgette added. “Pero gusto ko siya. Gustong gusto ko si Race. Kung manliligaw siya sa akin ay sasagotin ko siya.”

In your dreams.

He frowned, glaring at the girl.

No, not gonna happen, girl. Race won't court you.

“Ikaw, kaibigan ka niya 'di ba? Alam mo ba kung saan siya nakatira?” Bridgette asked him. “Kung alam mo puwedeng sabihin mo sa akin? Nag-aalala kasi ako dahil baka nilalagnat siya kaya siya umabsent.”

Hindi na nakapagpigil si Atlas. He rolled his eyes and he didn't mind that Bridgette saw him rolling his eyes.

Even if I know where he live, I won't tell you.

Naputol ang titigan nila dahil tumunog ang bell.

“Papasok na ako baka malate na kasi ako, eh,” ngumiting kumaway sa kaniya si Bridgette. “Bye!”

The problem is he even doesn't know where Race is. Hindi naman kasi sinabi ni Race sa kaniya kung saan siya nakatita kahit nga apelyedo nito ay hindi niya alam.

He pull his phone and call Race.

Hindi man lang ito nag ring.

Sinubukan ulit ni Atlas na tawagan si Race pero out of coverage area.

Sinuklay ni Atlas ang kaniyang buhok dahil sa frustasyon.

He didn't know why Race turned off his fucking phone!

Nag-aalala na tuloy siya kung ano ang nangyayari sa lalaki. Kahit kahapon pa ito absent hindi pa rin niya mapigilang mag-aalala.

Padabog siyang pumasok sa kaniyang kotse at pinaharorot ang kaniyang sasakyan. Imbis na pumasok sa kaniyang klase ay dumiretso siya sa kaniyang hideout kung saan siys madalas na nagt-training.

Atla hair is messy dahil sa paulit-ulit na pagsusuklay nito. He always comb his hair with his finger when he's angry or frustrated.

On his way to his hideout, he calls Race again and again and again. But he still receive nothing. Walang Race na sumagot sa kaniyang tawag.

Guilt pangs his heart.

Pumasok sa kaniyang utak na baka nagalit si Race sa kaniya dahil inakala ni Race nilayuan na niya ito dahil sa nangyari. Hindi naman siguro imposible na mararamdaman iyon ni Race.

Baka galit 'yon o ano.

Hindi niya mapigilang magtanong sa sarili.

Did Race feels the same when that happened the other day? Bumilis din ba ang tibok ng puso ni Race nang mglapit ang mga mukha nila?

He quietly praying that Race is not mad the him. This is the first time he worried that Race might ignore him for his entire life!

“He's not mad,” he said. “He's not mad at me because of what happened. He's not mad at me because I didn't show up yesterday.” He murmur.

Nang makapasok na siya sa kaniyang hideout ay nakita niya ang tatlong kotseng nakaparada sa parking lot.

Dire-diretso siyang pumasok sa loob, nakita niya kaagad ang tatlong lalaki na naglalaro ng billiard at umiinom ito ng alak.

“What are you doing here?” He asked the three at diretsong ininom ang isang basong alak ng kaniyang kaibigan.

“Hanging out,” Rile simply replied.

“My hideout is not for hanging out. Doon kayo sa mall,”

“Bakit parang wala ka sa mood, Atlas?” James nodded at him.

He stared at James for a moment. He's debating with himself kung ipapa track ba niya si Race o hind.

“Oh, don't tell me you're in love with me?” James laugh echoed.

Inirapan niya ang kaniyang tracker at uminom ulit ng alak.

“Dapat nasa university ka ngayon 'di ba?” The other boy asked, ang kaniyang makakasama niyang magmasid sa Russo mansion sa araw na is-ship na ang mga armas.

“Wala akong gana,”

“Kailangan mo ba ng personal psychiatrist? Puwedeng-puwede ako—”

Tinaasan niya ng kilay si James. “Babaliwin mo lang ako.” Aniya at tumayo tsaka kinuha ang isang baril at pumisto sa shooting range.

“Everyone, did you know that Atlas likes someone?” Rile voice echoed.

Inasinta ni Atlas ang kaniyang baril.

“Yes, I know that. Pina track nga niya sa akin 'yong taong 'yon, eh kasi hindi niya makita.” Tumawa si James.

“Bakit palagi na lang akong na o-out of place? Bakit walang nagsabi sa akin na in love ang kaibigan natin?”

Inikot ni Atlas ang kaniyang mata dahil sa sinabi ni Sebastian.

“I'm not in love, moron!” Giit niya.

“Tumitibok ang kaniyang puso nang napaka bilis! Parang aatakehin na raw siya sa puso tapos nakukuryente raw siya sa tuwing magkalapit sila no'ng—”

He throw death glare toward Rile. “I'm not fucking in love, okay? It's normal to feel this fucking way.” Inasinta niya ulit ang kaniyang baril pero hindi niya pinapaputok.

“You even command me to track that guy,”

“Guy?” Sebastian echoed.

“Yes, a guy.”

“I'm not gay.” Depensa niya.

Sunod-sunod ang kaniyang pagbaril.

He shot the head.

He shot the heart.

The head again and the face and he shot the heart three times.

Ilang sandali pa ay bumagsak siya sa sahig dahil ang tatlo niyang kaibigan ay kinababawan siya at ginulo ang kaniyang buhok.

“We're so proud of you, fucking boss!” Mangiyak-ngiyak na sabi ni James na nasa itaas ni Atlas.

“What the hell! Get fucking out of me!”

“Sa dinami-dami ng babaeng kinama mo sa lalaki ka lang pala mapapadpad. Damn, man! I'm so proud of you!” Mangiyak-ngiyak ding sinabi ni Sebastian.

“I don't fucking like that boy! I'm not damn fucking in love—”

“Shh, just accept it that you're in love,” pinatahimik siya ni Rile. “You have our support, dude! This is the first time in history!”

Ginulo ni Rile ang kaniyang buhok at tinulongan siyang tumayo. Tinapunan niya ng masamang tingin ang kaniyang mga kaibigan, kung nakakamatay lang ang tingin ay baka namatay na 'tong tatlong nakangiti sa kaniya.

“I'm.not.in.love.” Still glaring at his friend.

“Man, there's no problem of being a gay, okay? We're not mad or disgust.” Inakbayan siya ni Sebastian.

“I'm not in—”

“Where is he?” Rile asked and then he snap his head toward James who's eating chips. “Dude, can you track him? I need to see him—”

“Don't.” Pigil ni Atlas at nauposa sofa, ang gulo-gulo na ng buhok at ng damit niya, para tuloy siyang ginahasa ng tatlong babae.

“Why?” The three asked in unison.

“He's mad, okay?”

“Why he's mad, dude?” Rile sat beside him.

“Dahil sa nangyari, okay? Nagkalapit 'yong mga mukha namin tapos dahil sa may weird akong nararamdaman ay umalis ako at iniwan ko siya tapos hindi pa ako nagpakita sa kaniya kahapon tapos ngayon ay hindi siya pumasok, baka iniisip niyang galit ako o nandidiri ako roon sa nangyari noong nakaraan.”

“Gusto mo ba 'yong nangyari sa inyo?” James whispered in his ear.

“The hell, yeah! I almost want to kiss—NO.” Mabilis na natauhan si Atlas. Matutulis na titig ang pinukol niya kay James at tinulak ang mukha nito palayo.

“Baka ayaw niya sa'yo kaya siya lumayo?” Sebastian shrugged his broad shoulder.

“No—”

Rile cuts him off. “Maybe, he wanted to stay away from you? Maybe he doesn't like you?”

“The hell, no—”

“It's not a happy ending, boss. The boy you like doesn't even like you. He won't reciprocate your love. He stay away and you won't see him again.” May lungkot sa boses ni James.

Tumayo si Atlas. Hindi mawala sa kaniyang isipan ang mga sinasabi ng kaniyang mga kaibigan. Mas lalo tuloy na kinakabahan siya dahil sa mga sinasabi nito.

But he shakes all this thought.

Hinarap niya ang kaniyang mga kaibigan na nakangising nakatingin sa kaniya.

“H-He stay away because he likes me! I am sure that he feels the same way what I feel when our face is so near! I can feel it that he likes me but he hates to admit it. I saw it to his eyes. He stared at me like he's really likes me! I am one hundred percent that Race likes me. I know he likes me, I am sure of that. He just can't face me that's why he avoided me because I know his heart will palpitate when I am near or when he saw me. He likes me an I am sure of that.”

After he said that, his chest heaved.

He doesn't even know what he said. Nakalimutan na niya ang pinagsasabi niya.

His three friend burst out laughing. They're holding their stomach as they laughing so hard.

James is on the floor, laughing. He thinks he wants to pound his head on the floor.

Nagpagulong-gulong naman si Rile sa sahig at paulit-ulit na tinatapik ang semento habang walang tigil sa pagtawa.

Si Sebastian naman ay nahulog na sa sofa sa kakatawa, ang mga luha ay lumalabas sa kaniyang mga mata.

Atlas, on the other hand is so so so so confuseeeed. He didn't know why his friend is laughing at him. Parang mamamatay na nga ang mga kaibigan niya sa kakatawa.

“D-Did y-you...” Hindi natuloy ni James ang kaniyang sasabihin dahil tumawa na naman ito. “R-Record it? What the fuck—” tumawa ulit ito at paulit-ulit na tinapik ang sahig.

They're all crazy.

They need medication. They need assistance. I need to bring them at Mental Hospital.

“Fuck! I-I forgot!” Mura ni Rile at tumawa ulit.

Dahil sa inis ay pinagsisipa niya ang kaniyang mga kaibigan.

“Dude! You—you're so f-fucking...confidence!” Sebastian roll on the floor, hands on the stomach.

“Y-You're so soooo confidence that he likes you toooo!”

He made face. So, that's the reason why they are laughing top of their lungs.

“I know he likes me. He's in to me, I know that. I can see it in his eyes.” Aniya at tinalikuran ang mga kaibigan para bumalik sa shooting range.

Tomorrow he'll find Race. Kung hindi niya makikita si Race bukas, ipa-pa track na niya ito kay James.

Gunshot fire echoed at the hideout and from the background his friend is still on the floor still laughing.

Inimbeyerna niya ang kaniyang mga kaibigang baliw at kinuha ang cellphone tsaka tinawagan ulit si Race pero hindi pa rin ito sumasagot.

Damn, you made me worried sick Race.