Teach Her | Cillian Murphy x Reader

31. Explanation

November 18

11:32 AM

"I promise, I can explain!" I shouted down the vacant hallway, the cry in my voice echoing as I practically ran down the long corridor, glancing at the classrooms as I passed them.

"You don't have to explain a fucking thing," Jude said as he pushed through the exit doors, not bothering to hold them as I trailed behind him. "I saw everything that I needed to see."

Although Mrs Caldwell didn't walk in on Cillian and I; Jude did. Which somehow felt worse. My absence from my second period class alarmed him since we usually passed each other on the route to our classes, and today we didn't pass. It made him suspicious, leading him back to where he knew I was first period; History. He walked right in on us, practically having sex on Cillian's desk.

"Please, can you just listen to me," I pleaded as I followed behind him, watching as his steps grew increasingly quicker, attempting to lose me as we crossed the football field. "You're not even trying to."

Jude finally stopped in his tracks, whipping his body around to face me in such a quick way that I almost bumped into him. He stared at me for a second, his green eyes piercing into my own that were about to burst with tears, but all he felt was anger. It was obvious by the way his hands were balled into fists at his side, and the way his soft gaze was vexed. I was at a loss for words, unable to even form a coherent sentence that could possibly explain the relationship that Cillian and I had accumulated across the little three months we had known each other.

"Maybe because I don't want to listen to you, Jeane," Jude said through an almost shout, taking me back slightly at his sudden violent composure. "What you did, and what you're doing, is fucking disgusting."

I stared at Jude, trying my hardest to hold back the tears that made my eyes sting and my throat ache from wanting to scream. I couldn't believe that it was all unfolding now, right in front of me, in a way that I was unable to stop. It was too far gone.

"You don't even know what was happening," I said as I reached my arm forward, trying to pull him away from walking but he shrugged me away, a look of disgust wiping across his face. "You haven't even tried listening to me."

"Because you're full of shit," he spat back, quicker than expected, as if it was something that he had been wanting to say for ages. "I asked you if something was going on with him and you told me 'No', you told Sam 'No', you told Grace 'No; - you told everybody 'No'. And you lied."

"I couldn't just tell you," I argued, a slight strain in my voice making an appearance. "It's not as easy as you fucking think it is."

"It's not hard to not fuck your professor either," Jude stated as he shook his head, his eyes remaining on mine, waiting for the tears to fall down my cheeks. "But you did it anyway."

"You don't even know what you're talking about," I said, trying my hardest to remain composed, to gather up some logical thoughts but there were none to be found; only lies, only things that would dig my grave even deeper than it was. "You saw one thing, you can't base it all off of that."

Jude laughed at my response, a shot of insecurity shooting into my stomach, causing me to feel sick. I knew how stupid and desperate I sounded, yet there was nothing I could do about it because I was both of those things.

"Right, right," he nodded for a second, acting as if he was thinking hard about something. "I just can't base everything off of the fact I walked in on you and him having sex. That seems crazy, I guess."