Teach Her | Cillian Murphy x Reader

28. Ignored

November 10

9:32 PM

I rested my head onto his shoulder, staring at the night sky lit above us, riddled with stars. The cool breeze against my legs made me shudder, my body slightly leaning into his own. His arm hung loosely around my shoulders, taking me into a small hug, protecting my body from the November air.

My eyes still stung and my cheeks were still stained with tears, a painful ache resting in the pit of my stomach. I was still trying to process everything that had happened today, almost trying to convince myself that it wasn't true, that it was a mistake, but Cillian owned up to it, then tried excusing it. I couldn't even consider myself sad, only angry that I was so oblivious and naive to the situation when it was so obvious.

"Jude?" I asked slowly turning my head on his shoulder, making it much easier to see his face, my lips curving into smile once our eyes gazed into each other's.

I was still surprised that Jude even wanted to talk to me, especially after everything that happened between us - well, what I did to him. But when I showed up at his dorm, crying uncontrollably, he was there for me.

"Yeah?" he said in response, the wind gently brushing his curly hair against his eyes, shielding his eyes from my own.

"Thank you," I whispered looking down at the ground beneath us, shifting against the curb that we sat on. "You really don't have to be this nice to me, you know."

"I don't have to," he said shaking his head, his hand gently gripping onto the side of my shoulder, his thumb brushing against my arm. "But I want to, I care about you."

I smiled to myself, leaning more into his touch. "I don't understand how you can," I confessed shaking my head. "I was such a bitch for no reason."

Jude laughed quietly, slowly moving his arm away from me, causing me to lift up my head from his shoulder.

"I know there was a reason," he said, a slight playful tone in his voice. "I'm assuming it was because of that teacher of yours, right?"

I stared down at the ground, placing my hands in my lap, contemplating whether or not it was an appropriate time to tell Jude everything, or if it was even safe to tell him anything.

I nodded, though. "It's complicated," I admitted looking up at him, his gaze softening once he noticed that I was being serious. "It's not what you're thinking."

"What did you think I was thinking?" he asked, his eyes shifting slightly, a noticeably confused look appeared on his face.

"I don't know," I shook my head, wondering if I was walking myself into some sort of trap. "Some people thought that I was doing stuff with him, which isn't true."

Jude hummed for a second, nodding slowly, obviously knowing who I was referring to.

"I know. Grace told me a lot of things," he revealed, making my heart jump slightly. "But I didn't know if it was true or not. I don't think you'd do something like that."

I sat for a second, sitting with my thoughts. Do something like what? Sleep with my professor?

"I think it was one-sided," I added suddenly, regretting it instantly, biting my tongue. "I think he just had a thing for me, that's all. Nothing serious."

"That seems kind of serious," Jude said, followed by a quiet laugh. "Did he hit on you or something?"

I laughed, shaking my head, knowing that it was much more than just 'hitting on me' so technically, I wasn't lying about anything.