Teach Her | Cillian Murphy x Reader

24. Comfort

November 2

5:29 PM

"So, are you going to tell me where you were Saturday night or not?"

I remained silent, staring outside of the car window, focusing on the trees that passed by the window, not daring to look at my mother who sat beside me driving.

When Cillian dropped me off on Sunday morning my mother refused to talk to me. Her disappoint and rage could be sniffed out from a mile away; she didn't make dinner for me, didn't bother checking in on me. The only thing she did do was knock on my door this morning, telling me that it was time for her to drive me back to my dorm, the long weekend coming to an end. I didn't tell her where I was, I didn't tell her who I was with, I didn't even bother responding to her text message. If I'm honest, I was scared that she'd somehow discover my location if I texted her back, and suddenly the police would be banging on the motel door at two o'clock in the morning.

"Jeane," she said, her voice stern and forceful. "I need you to tell me where the fuck you were that night."

I swallowed, glancing over at my mother who stared at the road in front of her, her hands gripping the steering wheel tight.

"I promise I was safe." I confessed looking away, glancing down at my lap, a swarm of thoughts rushed through my head reminding me of what I did that night, reminding me of what I had lost.

"It's Monday evening and you still haven't said a fucking thing about where you were? Or who you were with? You couldn't even respond to a simple text message!" my mother practically yelled, causing me to move away slightly, my body shifting uncomfortably.

"You didn't give a fuck where I was or who I was with for two months?" I finally shouted back, turning to look at her. "You didn't call once, you didn't text me! But now that I'm in your household it's a problem?"

My mother huffed, shaking her head and glaring at me. "Just tell me who you were with."

I shook my head, biting down on my bottom lip. I couldn't lie and tell her I was with Julia, my cover was already blown.

"I saw you get in the car. I know you were with a boy," she started, my heart sinking into my stomach. "Or a man I should say."

"I was not with a man," I muttered quickly in defense, leaning my head against the car window, the coldness against my forehead causing me to shiver. "He's just a friend of mine, okay?"

My mother didn't say anything in response, but I could still feel the tension between us. I could practically cut it with a knife if I wanted to.

"You were with a boy?" she asked, a shaky breath leaving her mouth. "Why couldn't you have just told me? Why did you have to be so secretive?"

I sighed, trying to collect my thoughts as they were drifting away into other places, reminding me of the night I had spent with Cillian.

"I didn't want you to be mad, okay? Now can you please just drop this." I insisted, my own voice coming out stern, surprising myself.

"What's his name?"

I rolled my eyes, frustrated that my mother was never able to drop a thing, always egging on conversations that were meant to come to an end.

"Jude," I said, but my stomach filled with guilt and discomfort after the name had fallen from my mouth. "He's friends with my room mate, that's how we met."

I looked at my mother, noticing the way she had brought her hand to her mouth, biting at her fingernails; it reminded me of the first time she had dropped me off at campus. A nervous wreck.