You sat in the grass staring at her grave. You gently placed a bouquet of flowers down beside her gravestone as tears fell from your eyes.
"I miss you." Your voice broke. "I would give anything to just see you one more time." You whispered.
You just sat in silence, listening to the wind blow as your teary eyes stared at her name written in the stone.
You felt your chest getting tighter and a lump in your throat. Your body fell forward and you laid over her grave. You sobbed into the grass, your arms supporting your head.
You stayed like that for a while. The tears wouldn't stop, no matter how hard you tried to pull yourself together.
You sat up and continued to silently sob to yourself. "I know you wouldn't want me to be upset but it's impossible. I miss you so damn much, and he fucking took you from me." You said with so much hurt in your voice.
You sat there for a while until your tears dried up a bit, you continued staring at the stone with red puffy eyes. "I don't know how to fix this— I don't know how to fix myself. It feels like I'm broken beyond repair and god—I can't even look at Penelope without getting a lump in my throat."
You took a deep breath. "I know you would be saying just get over myself and go talk to her— just fix this, but I tried that and it didn't work." You wiped whatever tears were left. Your mind started thinking about a thousand things.
Even though Krystal wasn't physically in front of you, you swore you felt her presence. Being here comforted you.
"She's a forgiver." You softly smiled to yourself, looking off into the distance. "She has the biggest heart on this planet, and she doesn't know how to give up on people... She always looks for the good in people no matter what." Your smile faded. "But, I'm scared I changed that. I'm scared she gave up on me." Your eyes wandered back onto the stone. "I wish you were here."
"Y/n!" He called out.
You turned to face the road. Derek was standing outside his car.
"Are you ready?" He asked.
"Yeah." You said before turning back around to face the grave. "I'll come visit soon. I love you."
You took a second before standing up. You started to walk towards Derek and you got in the car without saying a word or making eye contact. He climbed into the drivers seat and you looked away from him. You stared out the window into the graveyard and tears were quick to form yet again.
"Hey, you alright?" He asked.
"Yeah." You said with your voice breaking.
"I know it's hard, y/n. But you have to talk to us. You can't keep everything to yourself."
You slowly looked over at him with teary eyes. "Is talking gonna bring her back?"
He just stared at you.
"So what's the point?" You asked, softly. You looked away from him. "Where are we going?" You asked.
"The BAU."
You looked over at him. "I really don't wanna be there, Derek."
He quickly glanced over at you. "I know, y/n. I'm sorry. But, you can't be alone right now."
"All I want is to be alone."
"Until Nicolas is caught, you're gonna continue being around everyone. I'm sorry."
"I know you're just trying to protect me, but this fucking sucks."
"I know." He said, softly.
