IL PREDESTINATO | Charles Leclerc |

Chapter 24

Charles felt weird as he drove them back to the hotel. For a couple of weeks now Christina was acting weird, distant. Their hectic schedules hadn't done them good. They barely saw each other. 

Charles had also noticed a change of Christina's behavior. She wouldn't call or text him that much anymore. When she was with him, she was always absent, deep in her thoughts. Things were weird. 

Between them.

They never were weird between them. 

Charles couldn't understand what had caused that change. It was like suddenly there was this wall between them again. They were right where they started. 

As soon as they arrived Charles got to the bathroom in order to have a shower. He wanted to take the sweat off of his body and forget how for one more time he didn't manage to achieve what he wanted. 

Driving for Ferrari had turned from his dream to his nightmare this season. He just wanted it to end so he could relax.

When he was finally done and dressed he exited the bathroom, wiping his  hair slightly with the towel as he walked. He noticed Christina sitting at the edge of their bed and confusion took over him. 

"Everything okay, mon coeur?" he asked her, throwing the towel to the couch they had. "Yeah" Christina replied, her voice low and sad. 

"I just want to talk to you about something" she said and Charles's eyebrows furrowed. "Okay" he said as he sat beside her on the bed. When Christina didn't turn to look at him, he realized that this wouldn't be one of their normal conversations. They wouldn't discuss about a problem they were currently dealing with. 

"Things have been a little weird between us recently-" 

"Christina, are you breaking up with me?" he asked, not bothering to hear the prologue. He knew how these things worked. He didn't want to hear all that, it didn't matter. 

"I'm sorry" Christina whispered as she looked at him with her teary eyes. He realized that his worries of the last days had come true and it hit him like a brick. 

Charles didn't say anything. He just got off the bed and sighed, bringing his hands to his face. 

"We have grown apart recently because of the hectic schedules, that's why-"

"I understand the why, Christina" Charles interrupted her. Truly he did understand. Christina felt some sort of deja-vu with their situation. With racing and her filming they didn't find much time to meet. And she was scared of what would happen to them because of it. 

That's why she was pushing him away before they could destroy everything they had built the last months. 

"Believe me, I do. But my season will be over soon, don't you want to wait a little?" Charles said. He knew that once his season was over he could spent his winter break in LA with her even though she still had to work.  It would be better than now. 

"I can't, I'm sorry" 

"Are you kidding me? You'll just give up? You'll throw away everything without giving it a second try?" Charles asked her. He wasn't angry, he was sad, disappointed. She didn't want to fight for this as much as he did.

"That's the thing, Charles. I've done my do-overs and the second tries. I can't do it again" Christina replied. 

"Okay" he responded. "I can't keep you in a relationship you don't want to be in" he thought out loud. Silence followed between the two of them.

Christina was still sitting on the edge of the bed with her face in her hands while Charles was pacing around the room. 

"So what do we do now? How do we handle this?" he asked as he sat beside her. "I don't know" 

"We have to announce it, right?" he asked but Christina shook her head. "The PR team would never allow that before the end of the season" Christina pointed out. 

"You're right" Charles sighed. "So we pretend?" 

"Do you think we can handle that?" Christina asked him, as they both looked into each other's eyes. "I don't have to pretend to be in love with you, Christina" 

That night was a painful one, for the both of them. It was the first time ever that they had to lie on a bed together but not in each other's arms. 

Charles felt cold and lonely. But it wasn't like the nights he had to spend alone in Monaco because Christina was working. No, it was nothing like that.

He was lying on the same bed with her. The person who could fix everything, who could make those feelings go away, was lying right beside him. But nothing was okay, nothing was fixed. 

Christina had turned her back on him but he could tell that she wasn't asleep yet. Because in contrast of her, Charles didn't turn on the other side. He wanted to be able to look at her. He could see her shaking, knowing that she was crying her eyes out right beside him but she was staying silent because she didn't want him to know. 

"Come here" he told her as he moved and grabbed her arm, turning her around. Her red face and her puffy eyes was something that Charles hadn't missed. Since that first time in Rubiera, that she cried because of her nightmares, he knew that he hated that sight.

He couldn't stand her being in pain. He just wanted to make it all go away. Like he did when she had the panic attack in her bathroom or when she cried because of her brother and when she revealed him her story. He wanted to help her like he always did.

"Charles we can't" Christina told him, refusing to get closer to him and trying to free herself from his grip. 

"We can't? Is there any rule book for freshly broken up couples?" Charles asked her as he stared at her face. He so wanted to kiss her right now, take her in his arms and whisper sweet thing in to her ear so she would calm down. To tell her how much he loved her. 

"Didn't think so" Charles stated after Christina remained silent. The Ferrari driver pulled her into his arms. "Now come here. I can't sleep in the same bed with you without having you in my arms, especially when you're like this" he told her and she immediately crumbled under his touch. 

Her sobs were now loud as she cried, burying her head on his neck. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" she sobbed. Her tears stained his t-shirt and his skin. "Yeah, I 'm sorry too" Charles exclaimed pressing his eyes closed, feeling the tears forming. 

A part of him didn't understand how she could choose this over trying one more time. It was obvious that the situation hurt her just as much as it hurt him. Why couldn't she try one more time? So they'd avoid this pain.

She still loved him and he could feel it in his bones. It saddened him how she had allowed her fears to win again.

 
She wasn't willing to fight for them.

Was it the wrong time for them?

Perhaps they weren't meant to be like he always believed.

He didn't know. He couldn't explain it. He couldn't find the reason in him, he didn't know it.

All he knew was that they were just over.