Incandescent

Chapter Fifty-Two❗️

⚠️❗️First part of the chapter depicts mental health issues and self harm. The 🩸🩸 indicated start and end of smut scenes within the chapter.❗️⚠️

        The last few days have been filled with tension between the guys and I. I wear my earpiece religiously and I'm never leaving any of their sides. At school I'm with Jongho and Jeongin 24/7. School started yesterday and has been hell. I got the proof needed on my professor and he was promptly fired. I needed comfort but refused to let anyone touch me at the same time. I took the pills San made and ate by myself. They tried multiple times to initiate a conversation with me but I didn't try back. I just needed time, a way to let myself let out some steam. So I text San requesting to start my training and our dance. He agreed immediately. 

        Jongho and I walked out of dance and to his car. I walked ahead of him, itching to get out of the prying eyes around us. As soon as we got to the car I went to open the back door, sliding inside but Jongho got in behind me and locked the doors with the keys. I looked at him in confusion before looking to the front seat. What was he doing? He needed to drive us back home. I watched his every move as I dropped my backpack to the floor, only for him to pounce the split second I looked away from him. He pinned me to the seat, kissing me hard as his hands held my waist tightly.

         "You're driving us insane, Ren." He panted between kisses, my hands pressed on his chest as his gripped my waist harder. I whined, panting as he kissed down my neck as my head fell to the side to give him more access. I could feel the self control it took him to not mark my neck due to the mission and the competition coming up.

        "That's not fair," I whimpered as he bit my flesh harshly, moving my shirt up my body as his hands moved up my skirt. "I did nothing wrong. You guys accused me first." I reminded. Jongho's teeth bit so hard he broke skin as he bit against my collarbones. I cried out, my hands moving to grip his shoulders hard.

         "You can't blame us when everything looked so suspicious." He retorts as I push him away and climb into his lap. My hips rolled down against his as my hands tangled in his hair. The tension between us was electric, suffocating as I kissed him hard. My tongue fought his as he held my thighs, grunting into my mouth as I rocked my hips harder. He moved me to straddle his thigh and tensed the muscle as he helped me grind down against it. I bit his shirt to keep myself quiet, the earpiece in mind as pleasure pooled in my stomach. Jongho watched me with hooded eyes as I desperately chased my high and tried to stay quiet. Small gasps and whimpers escaped my lips with every movement.

      "And you could have just asked me instead of accusing, we're all in the wrong." I huffed, crying out as my orgasm hit me hard. Jongho forced my thighs to keep moving as I hid my face in his neck. After a moment longer he let go of my hips and I laid limply in his arms. We just, took a breather. I moved back and pressed his lips to mine once more, this time the kiss was soft, gentle. Almost as if we had all the time in the world to just be in this moment. I pulled away slowly as I looked into his eyes.

       "I love you guys so much, it physically hurts me when I think about it. I fell hard and would never do something dumb to hurt you guys. So please, never question me again. Not when I've said so many times I'd die for you. Hell at this point I'd switch roles and kill for you. It physically pains me so much to know a wedge was driven between us and I want it to go away but I do need space and time. You questioning my loyalty hurt so much. And yet I can't bring myself to wanna stay away. That space and time needed makes me feel so far away from you. I don't like it. So please, recognize the fact that while it's driving you insane it's already done so for me,  to reject you guys and your advances." I pleaded, my voice small. He nodded as he looked at me and I smiled softly. Rubbing my nose against his with a small giggle.