Sometimes

Living

5 years later

We pull up to the house I have not been to since before that day. The day my world fell apart, after Josh died I left Boston, I moved to small place in a small town and lived a small life. I quit acting, had my baby and raised him. His name is Matthew Joshua Richards and he is the spitting image of his father. He is now 4 years old and he is the sweetest human being in this world.

As we get out of the car, I see the door to the house open. Matthew noticing too.
"Uncle Chris!!!!"
He runs over and Chris scoops him up into his arms.
"Dude you have to stop growing"
"I can't uncle Chris. Is uncle Scot here?"
"He is. Go head in and I'll help your mum"
"Okay"
He runs in and chris comes over, smiling at me. He holds his arms out and I walk straight into them.
"It's good to see you"
"And you"

He grabs my bag and we walk inside, the house hasnt changed at all.
"Lizzy"
I look and I see Lisa walking towards me "hi Lisa"
She wraps her arms around me and squeezes me.
"It's good to see you honey"
"You too"
I look out and see Matthew playing with Chris's niece and nephews. He loves them so much.
"How are you? Excited to get back to acting?"
"I don't really know. I'm nervous"
"I'll take care of you don't worry"

"Thanks Chris. Does Ma and pa know I'm here?"
"Nope everything is still under wraps"
"Good"
My mum and dad are celebrating 50 years of marriage this weekend and I wanted to surprise them by coming back to town. I couldn't miss it.
"Mummy!!"
He runs to me and I scoop him up "inside voice little man"
"Sorry. Is that daddy?" He points at a photo Lisa has on her side board. A picture from our wedding day.

I pick it up and smile "yes baby. That's your daddy"
"I look like him"
"Yes you do"
He smiles wide and kisses the photo before scurrying off. I stare at the photo, remembering it being taken.
"He really does look like him"
I turn and see Chris, wiping away the tear that has fallen "yeah"
He wraps his arms around me squeezing me tight.
"He would be so proud of you"
"Thank you"

"Come on. The rest of the gang are in the garden"
We walk out and I'm suddenly bombarded with hugs and kisses from the entire Evans family. It was nice to be around them all again. It will always be tough coming here. Seeing this place, the place I was supposed to raise my children with my husband. But being with my family and friends helps ease the pain, even if just for a moment. Everyday I wish Josh could be here and see his son grow up. He would have been an amazing dad.

I'm going to be staring in the new captain America movie with Chris and we will be travelling out on Monday together with Matthew. I'm so nervous to get back into acting but Kevin called me personally. He really wants me for this part and has promised to do whatever we need for Matthew to be comfortable too. I'm excited to meet everyone. But I'm also scared of making my life public again. The person who shot and killed my husband was a crazed fan who believed I should be with them not him. They were caught thankfully and are now serving a long sentence behind bars. But that doesn't mean there aren't more people out there who want to hurt us. This will be difficult but I miss acting. I need to do this. Josh would want me too.