The Freelancers React to red vs blue

Nine Tenths of the Law

Opening shot of the sun over Blood Gulch. It slides down to reveal Sarge and Donut watching over the canyon from Red Base.

Donut: So, just you and me hanging out at the base today, huh Sarge! This is new. I notice you use a shotgun. That's cool. I just use this pistol. It works for me. (whistles casually) So, you think the guys will be back soon? What do you think they're up to? Do you think they stopped at the store? I noticed we were getting pre-tty low on elbow grease. ...When you die, can I have your armor?

Niner and South snickered with each other, thoroughly amused with Donut's predicament.

Simmons comes up the ramp behind them.

Simmons: Hey, we're back!

Sarge and Donut turn around.

Donut: Oh man, am I glad to see you guys! Sarge would not stop talking. Seriously.

Sarge: Grif, Simmons, were you able to work out a suitable exchange?

Grif runs up and stands next to Simmons.

Simmons: (sighs) Uhh, not exactly sir. You see, when we showed up the Blues were doing something, REALLY weird and then w-

Grif: Really weird! And they were rude!

Simmons: Hey dumbass, I thought we agreed I was gonna tell the story.

Grif: (half heartedly) Excuse me! Go ahead!

Simmons: (to Sarge) Well you see, the Blue guys were really weird. And not just normal weird, really weird.

Grif: You're not telling it right.

Simmons: Okay, fine, how do you remember it?

Grif: Well, I remember we agreed that you're a kiss-ass. I got fuzzy on the rest of the details.

Simmons: ANYWAY, they didn't want the prisoner back, sir.

That's me and my brother right there. Rider laughed. He'll forget details, I'll interrupt to correct him, he gets annoyed, I don't care, and take over the story. Ah, good times. At least until Mom yells at me for interrupting him and I talk back to her and we're annoyed with each other for the rest of the day and make snide comments all day. Rider hummed fondly.

"Sounds like the twins," Tex muttered, expertly twirling a fork between her fingers.

South bared her teeth at her and North rolled his eyes.

Camera zooms in on Sarge.

Sarge: Why those cunning, blue devils! Does their treachery know no bounds?

Grif: It wasn't a total loss, sir. I was able to steal his wallet.

Sarge: Grif, I may just make a respectable soldier outta you yet.

Grif: Really, sir?

Sarge: Hell no! Now leave the money on my nightstand and get back to work!

"Wise man," York approved and had an idea. "Hey, Wash-"

"No."

"You're no fun."

Cut to the Blues.

Church: Alright Tucker, what the hell are we gonna do, man? I gotta get my legs working, here.